He is lying . . . with an ex

[cathy_2007]

[FONT=Arial]So I have been married for 3 years now, and spent most of my marriage away from my husband, I was working on my finishing school, and he is also in the military, and therefore is gone a lot. I have now moved in with him, in a city unfamiliar to myself. I have known him since we were young, and we have been friends, although we only became romantic later. He has been talking to his ex girlfriend, this doesn’t bother me, I am not the jealous type. Although he is, as I am friends with a guy since we were babies, and we were never romantic, but he hates him only for the fact that he is jealous, and he does not like me seeing him ever, and we don’t’. But I know his password, and I can get into his things, and he has been talking to his ex without telling me, and his main concern is that I am snooping through his things, so he is supposed to tell me when he talks to. But he doesn’t because I still look, because I don’t feel I can trust him, and now I have determined that he is flying out to see her, and going to spend the night at her place, although he is claiming to be spending the night at a friend’s place (a friend I have never met). I haven’t told him I know he is meeting up with her, because he will simply focus on the fact that I was in his stuff, I don’t really know what to do here, I love my husband, and I thought he loved me, I am not one to cut out like that, I know a marriage is a lot of work, and I know we married early in life, but we both come from very similar backgrounds, our parents aren’t divorced. I don’t know if he is cheating, but is he wasn’t why lie? I am not sure what to do, who to talk to, maybe talk to his ex? Or his siblings? I feel embarrassed, ashamed, and alone, as I am here with him, in a new city, without anyone to confide in. Any advice? [/FONT]

[Change2]

First off im sorry that you feel how you do. But, the best person to talk about this is him. who cares if you are "snooping" through his things, if he would act otherwise you wouldn't be having to do this. Find a way to approach him that he doesn't feel that you are attacking him. I make sure i always am saying I feel...because.. That way they can't be upset or deny how you feel and you aren't pointing a finger. You need to find out why he is lying. If you feel that he is going off to see her don't let him. Put your foot down for yourself. You are his wife!!! Please if you need to talk im here. When my husband was mad for me "snooping" he was hiding something. Hang in there, you are in my thoughts.