crymsnrose Posted January 24, 2004 Share Posted January 24, 2004 [color=blue][/color]I've been seeing my b/f for almost 4 yrs now and for the past few months been contemplating what to do with this relationship. My boyfriend is 22 and he acts immature for his age. We hardly ever get time alone. He always wants to visit friends so he can play his video games. I end up passing out in a chair or something. It seems we always do what he wants to do. When I wanna do something, he kinda snuffs at it. If he wants to watch something i don't want to watch i watch it. In the past 4 yrs he has only watched 1 thing I wanted to see and I practically had to break his arm to do that. Also, he has no motivation for himself. It just took him 4 months to finally find a job. I feel more like his mother than his girlfriend. I have to nag him quite a few times before he does something. Even if he knows it's something he has to do, he procrastinates. He does tell me he loves me and always wants to hang out. He recently got a job and told me he'd help me with my bills. He always give me hugs and kisses too. I don't think he thinks anything is wrong, but it is getting to me so bad I know I have to do something about it. Anyone have any thoughts as to what I should do??? PLEASE HELP! Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 24, 2004 Share Posted January 24, 2004 From what you posted, why wouldn't you want to leave? Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted January 24, 2004 Share Posted January 24, 2004 There does seem to be guys who look for a 'mother' type figure...maybe your guy is one of them. If it's not a role you want to continue in....then you have to decide if this relationship is right for you or not. In the past 4 years you've been together....has he matured along the way....at least a little? Maybe he's a late bloomer. LOL! I can understand you feeling pretty frustrated. It all depends on how much you love him and if you want to spend your life with someone who is less than responsible.....but does have the other qualities you are looking for. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 24, 2004 Share Posted January 24, 2004 Originally posted by crymsnrose He does tell me he loves me and always wants to hang out. He recently got a job and told me he'd help me with my bills. He always give me hugs and kisses too. Dancing monkeys can help pay the bills, parrots can tell you they love you, and dogs are great for kissing. Find a human man who you are happy with. Link to post Share on other sites
Pookette Posted January 24, 2004 Share Posted January 24, 2004 If you can't leave him, just go out without him. My ex would do the same thing, so I would call up my group of friends and we'd all go out. After coming home to an empty apartment repeatedly, he started to get the picture... I would leave him though. That's just my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted January 24, 2004 Share Posted January 24, 2004 Yeah, leave him. Don't do the time off thing. That's the most pointless thing you can do. Just break up. If you get back together, so be it, but just dont' do the "we're on a break" thing. It didn't work on Friends, it didn't work with me, probably won't work for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author crymsnrose Posted January 25, 2004 Author Share Posted January 25, 2004 Last night I finally told him how I felt....I told him some of the things I needed in the relationship, I wasn't getting. I explained to him what I needed and he said " He'd try to change" I asked him "Do you want to change?" He said " Yeah, for you." We both decided we'll take a break for a week or two and see if there are things that we both have to change. I have spoken to him before about things that needed to change and I have to admit that I've seen improvement in some things, but other things didn't change, but didn't get worse. I think I did the right thing for both of us in my view and I know he will at least try to change for me. We've been together almost 4 yrs and I don't want to throw that away if I at least know he will try to change. I want to give it a second chance. Not all things are bad in our relationship. Right now I feel that after I talked it over with him, my heart stayed with him and I'm walking without it. He just started a new job and seems excitied about it. He's looking forward to doing all the things he knows he should've done that he never had the money for. He's showing some improvement in some of the areas that I talked to him about like responsibility and motivation. We were always together everyday for the time we have been dating. With this break, I think if we hang out at all it will only be for maybe a small amount a week. I will keep you updated on what is going on with us. Link to post Share on other sites
calithin83 Posted January 25, 2004 Share Posted January 25, 2004 Hey 4 years is a long time, i dont think u should break up i just suggest some time away to think through.....just do ure own thing once in a while, go out with friends, read books "why men love bitches" by agrov, exercise, the more u think about him and the realitionship the worse it is..too much analyzing is bad...if u feel u dont wanna be with him then just give ureslef some time away from him....sounds like he does love u its just that most guys immature late!...as long as he aint cheating and hes treating u right and he makes u feel good, then dont worry so much.... also maybe talk to him abbbout it, about how uw ant him to do studff u like doing, and if hes not willing to compromise then stop dooing the things he likes doing..and act indifferent Link to post Share on other sites
fnouri Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Talk to him. Not just giving him hints or trying to persuade him to see things your way. But talk to him frankly and openly. Tell him how unhappy you are. Tell him exactly how you feel. Tell him that you are on the verge of doing thinking about breaking up because you are not getting attention. Link to post Share on other sites
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