Wolvesbaned Posted January 24, 2004 Share Posted January 24, 2004 OK guys and gals, I want to take a poll here. I want to know if you or anyone you know is married to (or in a relationship with) someone that's been "sheltered?" all their life. I consider my husband pretty clueless about interpersonal relationships. Before we'd met I didn't think it was possible to meet someone like him. In fact, I know of no other person like him except for his friends. I remember chatting to his friend's fiancée (now wife) and she felt the same way because her (now) husband is exactly like mine. We are their first girlfriends at the age of 20/21. I guess I want to know if couples in my similar situation are going through or have gone through our current problems. I know this is not an important aspect of our troubles but I feel it complicates things. Anyway, anyone else in love with someone that's never in a relationship before? How has it affected your relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 24, 2004 Share Posted January 24, 2004 I'm in my first, she's in her first, and we don't consider ourselves clueless. But I guess cluelessness is one thing that's not in the eye of the beholder, really. I'll duck out on this one, because I think this thread was geared more towards the old folk Link to post Share on other sites
gecolon Posted January 25, 2004 Share Posted January 25, 2004 Well, I guess I'm an old head so..... I don't think that 20-21 is too old for someone to have never been in a relationship before. I guess more important is the why. Exmaple some guys and girls are late bloomers, they don't feel confident in their own skin until around that time. Some go off to college, and learn that they may have been the town dork, but it wasn't them it was the town. Some guys are too imature for a relationship until about that age (or later)so they just play, and play until that gets old. One of the group gets hooked up, and it becomes contagious, cuz the others don't know what to do without him/her. Some feel that it is just time to settle down. Some were "ugly ducklings" and have turned into "swans" as they matured. Some may have some questions about their sexuality. They grew up on a farm and the only chicks for 15 miles where their family. They are just waiting until the right person comes along. So I'm saying that it really is quite normal depending on the reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wolvesbaned Posted January 26, 2004 Author Share Posted January 26, 2004 I guess what I'm talking about is not "why" but if they are/were not familiar with interpersonal relationships, what issues have come up that's related to their limited acquaintances. For instance, my husband is lately blabbering about "theories" about friendships with the opposite sex, but there had been no practice to back up his conclusions - which puts wholes in his "theories". Anyway, I think I've answered my own question. I knew this aspect of him when we married, now I must face the consequences. Thanks guys Link to post Share on other sites
FolderWife Posted January 30, 2004 Share Posted January 30, 2004 My dad had girlfriends before (2) my mom, but my mom didn't have any boyfriends before she met my dad. She met him when she was 22, and married him when she was 23. He was her first boyfriend, first kiss, first everything. They were both virgins when they got married, and they've been married for 22 years. That's a lot to live up to! Needless to say, I didn't live up to them Link to post Share on other sites
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