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Why not be straight with your partner?


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donnamaybe
I am choosing every day whether or not to remain with my MM. I know my pattern with men. I am very loyal until one day I have had enough and then I walk. With no regrets and my head held high.

 

Well, that's fine then I guess. It's just that - you seem to be such a cool gal, really, regardless that we've butted heads from time to time. That has nothing to do with who you and I are. I'd hate to think you were wasting all that cool on someone who could just be manipulating you - using your trust against you. :(

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jennie-jennie
Well, that's fine then I guess. It's just that - you seem to be such a cool gal, really, regardless that we've butted heads from time to time. That has nothing to do with who you and I are. I'd hate to think you were wasting all that cool on someone who could just be manipulating you - using your trust against you. :(

 

That is sweet of you, Donna. I appreciate that. :)

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So my question for ALL posters, BS'S, OP'S and WS"s, is...... why not be honest? What positive result can be gained by being dishonest?

 

IME, and I was a proponent of transparency/disclosure both as an OM and MM, the primary motivator for secrecy and dishonesty is fear. Fear of change; fear of abandonment; fear of being alone; fear of loss of face in the 'social proof' game. Name your fear. Examine that funny feeling in the gut. Yep, that's it.

 

IMO, facing the fear allows for growth. Growth is not without pain. Taking responsibility can be and often is painful.

 

OP, most of my story is in my journals so I won't repeat it here. Suffice to say that transparency cost me plenty, both in real and emotional terms, but I still believe in it. The process was a great life lesson. Best wishes to you :)

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You Go Girl

When I was younger I made my mistakes and had secrets from SO's sometimes...

now that I'm older life is just too short to be wasting anybody's time.

Just own up to who you are in life cheating people, get a spine, will ya?

It saves everybody time, effort, love, energy, you name it.

So GET REAL.

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