Wondering what it might feel like?

[DadofTwoGirls]

I was just wondering what it might feel like seeing your stbx with another and vice versa.

Edited May 12, 2010 by DadofTwoGirls
Left word out

[trippi1432]

DoTG - I wouldn't even torture yourself right now with the "what if's".....even though you might be trying to build up for it...it's still gonna hurt like hell. Just concentrate on you right now.

[DadofTwoGirls]

trippi...because no matter how many times I tell myself "it's not going to bother me" I know I am only lying to myself.

[phineas]

I saw pictures of them together when we were supposed to be married.

I nearly puked.

Now, a yr later, I could care less.

 

You will know when you have met the right person when they make you forget about your ex.

[You Go Girl]

I'm going to be honest here. If he's going to be with anybody soon, I'm going to pity her. He won't be ready for a long long time.

The last thing I'm going to feel is jealousy.

[MoscaVia]

Honestly, I have thought about this often. The only thing I think would bother me is that I still tend to feel a bit possessive- just because I feel like he is "home" to me, like we belong together- simply because I am so used to his face and we have been together for 20 years. It will feel wierd, I know that. But as far as jealous, i don't think so....I actually would have this great urge to run up to the girl and "warn" her about all the things he is lacking and doesn't do....LOL....but ofcoarse I wouldn't. I would feel sorry for her. I really hope he DOES find someone, that would help him alot...if I could, I would set him up with someone.

[DadofTwoGirls]

you all seem very strong...I feel I would want to go 'lights out' on him but wouldn't..that is not going to be an emotion I will be ready for...yet.

[MoscaVia]

Honestly, I want my ex to be happy...even if its not with me. I care about him very much. I know that we can never fix our marriage, it can't be like we need it to be. Thus the divorce. But, I hope he finds someone someday.....

[dgiirl]

When I've stumbled upon photos of them, I've had mixed emotions. Sometimes it caught me off guard and I cried a lot. Other times, I was repulsed. Recently, all I can think of is, OMG he is fat, bald, OLD and ugly! They now have a kid together. The kid is HAIRY, just like his dad.

 

The accidental stumble on the internet is as close as I want to get towards my ex right now. I have NO interest in any relationship with him. I wish I could wish him well, but right now, all I have is indifference, and that's good enough for me.

[Gunny376]

She's 54 now, and she's gotten older, sicker, more wrinkled (I told her to stay of the sun) her completion is like leather, ~ she's gotten meaner, has gone through "tha' change"

 

But? He's got her, so I guess that makes him the "Winner"

 

Meanwhile I've got good running car that's paid for with only 28K miles on her. Making more money than I've ever made in my life, owe less and will be completely out of debt in three to four months. Retired out of the Corps with all the same benefits and privileges as I had when I was on active duty. I can live off of my military retirement if need be ~ bank my check from my civilian job. Saving money like crazy. I've got everything I need, (granted most of it you couldn't give away at a yard sale ~ but having lived a Spartan lifestyle for twenty years? It doesn't take much to make me a happy camper!

 

I've got an easy low stress-no stress job with low stress and no stress co-workers.

 

Granted I almost got fired because of my heavy drinking (going in not 100% and hung over) But I was fortunate enough to have a boss that was a Vietnam Vet and retired Alabama National Guard Master Sergeant who called me in on the carpet and told me to either get help or get to steppin' looking for another job!

 

I've had some hit and misses. My alcohol dependency is way down (90% or better) although I did have one incidence of drinking and doing the antidepressants and anxiety drugs combined with the alcohol where I had a weak moment ~ and a couple of flash backs from back in tha' day.

 

I called the ER, and they sent the police out to check on me. AD's anxiety drugs and alcohol don't mix too well together. I told them I was on AD's and anxiety drugs, was a retired Marine that has been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

 

And that yea I had been drinking.

 

There was a time in my life when I would be too ashamed to admit, let alone tell anyone this? In fact the better part of my life. And we're talking some 53 years of living.

 

But I'm posting this to tell you~ there is help available and people out there to help you and medication out there to help you cope with all this BS your going through!

 

The meds the Dr's have me on? Man I should have been on them years ago! I not mad at the World and everyone in it anymore? Nothing bothers me! I worry about nothing!

 

I care and am responsible, and take care of things that I need to take care of. I just don't worry about anything, nor what others think. I'm easier going, more pleasant, patient, and well?

 

Polite!

[stepka]

I still haven't met the other, but one of the choice moments in our separation was the night he brought his male lover over to my house to meet me, and didn't call ahead to warn me. He came in the back door and said he'd brought him over, but the only sound he heard was the bedroom door slamming, and then he had the nerve to be mad at me about that b/c it embarrassed him. Oh brother. He promised not to do that again. I should hope not. It did have one positive purpose--it made me really glad that my marriage to the insensitive SOB was over, b/c believe me, it wasn't the first time he did something that dumb.

[You Go Girl]

I still haven't met the other, but one of the choice moments in our separation was the night he brought his male lover over to my house to meet me, and didn't call ahead to warn me. He came in the back door and said he'd brought him over, but the only sound he heard was the bedroom door slamming, and then he had the nerve to be mad at me about that b/c it embarrassed him. Oh brother. He promised not to do that again. I should hope not. It did have one positive purpose--it made me really glad that my marriage to the insensitive SOB was over, b/c believe me, it wasn't the first time he did something that dumb.

 

Oh wow. Talk about no respect for other's boundaries! That man has...I can't even find the words for it...no comprehension of...other's emotions? He'll do the same to whomever he is with. Pity them.

 

Gunny--now you stay strong, stay off that alcohol, or I'm coming down there to give you an ass whooping. I may be a petite woman, but I can have a scary disposition when need be!

You see the light, you know what you need to do. Everytime you think about opening that bottle, you remember that there are people like me on LS who would give you a hug instead of you looking for comfort in that bottle.

[stepka]

Oh wow. Talk about no respect for other's boundaries! That man has...I can't even find the words for it...no comprehension of...other's emotions? He'll do the same to whomever he is with. Pity them.

 

Yeah, and the scary thing is that he still doesn't understand what upset me so much about that--he thinks I was just being oversensitive. Oh yes but we did find a pic of him kissing his boyfriend in one of those free magazines for gays. Not sure why we even had that, but my 15 yo daughter saw it first. It didn't really upset me though--I was just laughing about the embarrassment it would surely cause him.