Trying not to look stupid?

[CARL45]

I have the hardest time being Genuinely honest with people about my life. I have been hiding aspects about myself the fact that I was abused as a child and also my dyslexia which has also troubled me. I believe this has really caused me a lot of problems in college. I do better in college when I am mentally in a better state. Another thing I hate is being tall not because I am tall, but because people always think I should play basketball. What makes it worse is I am black too so they expect me to know how to play basketball. Plus people think I'm smart, yet I don't feel like it. I feel less successful than everyone else. The only things that I connect with are my books everyone else and I seem to be pretending.The only thing that has really helped me has been my therapy. Anyone else feels this way?

[whichwayisup]

Keep doing therapy! You will gain more self confidence as time goes on.

 

I think everyone has felt the way you do at some point in their life. And some feel that way alot of the time. You're not alone!

 

Learn to laugh stuff off. Those who think "black, tall = basketball player" are idiots and see things one way.

 

You have your books, a passion that makes you feel good, and puts a smile on your face. What counts at the end of the day is how you feel about yourself. Be proud that you are in therapy (I'm big on that!) and just know that life will get better.

 

Hope this helps.

[Ronni_W]

Carl.

I'm sorry for your childhood experiences, and do admire you very much for having survived it and not allowing it turn you into a victim.

 

Truth is, there are always going to be people who don't know what dyslexia is, or have a distorted understanding of it. You could look at it as your opportunity to educate those who are opening to learning.

You might even try something like, "I suffer from dyslexia, which is an impairment in the brain's ability to translate written images received from the eyes into meaningful language. I'd be happy to give you more info if you'd like."

 

It can be challenging to get past stereotypes but you can turn it around for yourself with a bit of humour. "Nah, contributions to stereotypes are not tax deductible so I decided against it at a very young age." And then just laugh at the ignorance.

 

As far as you being smart -- my guess is that other people wouldn't think it if they didn't have some good evidence of it. So...because other people think you're smart, I'm thinking you must be smart. Maybe not Einstein-smart, but smarter than the average bear, yes?

 

With childhood (and adult) abuse, I think what sometimes happens is that other people don't want to "look stupid" by saying the wrong thing -- they're actually suffering from the same fear as you. Again, it can be about educating them as to what you need from them, what words you'd find comforting and supportive, what you don't want to hear, etc.

 

At the same time, it's perfectly fine to guard your personal and private information until you feel safe and trusting enough to share it. That is part of taking care of yourself and protecting your psyche, and it's the self-responsible thing to do.

 

Not that you need to feel ashamed, of course. What happened to you was not your fault and you did not deserve it. There's also no need for us to judge any health condition -- it's just the hand Life dealt us and if people don't get that...well, bad Karma for them, right?

 

Our experiences and conditions don't change our true nature, which is kindness, truth and compassion. You can be proud of exactly who you are!

 

Sending hugs, and wishing you great success in life.