Am in the wrong here?

[hahaYO super serial]

So my girlfriend and I broke up a few months ago. Hurt but tried to get back into the dating world quickly to take my mind off it. Yeah, not smart. Took a bit but I ended up going out on a few dates with a nice girl and we had some good connection. The problem is I think she is going way too slow, there is no indication that the relationship is going anywhere. So recently I've started thinking about how busy my summer is and I am going to be doing a lot of traveling, visiting friend, weddings, etc. And I want to be single for that, really enjoy it. Don't get me wrong, if someone came along who it just clicked right away I would try but with the girl I've been talking with now that's just not happening.

 

So I told her this and she got really mad, saying I was a jerk etc. We never even said we were dating and she was the one moving really, really slow. So I ask you all, was in the wrong in anyway here?

[PrettyinInk]

i guess that depends on what you mean by really slow, if the problem was that you have been on 5 dates and she wouldn't have sex with you, then yes, i would say her assessment of you being a "jerk" is correct.

 

honestly though, don't loose too much sleep over it, you obviously did not like her too much.

[hahaYO super serial]

No, it's not sex. I want to be in an actual relationship before that. It's like no physical contact whatsoever and no talk to going further. Not like I didn't try to initiate either.

[PrettyinInk]

oh yeah, and honestly isn't always the best policy, it is okay to say, "things just aren't working out between us, i don't think we should date anymore." it is never okay to say, "i am going to be super busy this summer, so i would rather not be tied down by a relationship."

[hahaYO super serial]

Well, it's not entirely being tied down. It's just that I wouldn't have time for her and I find that to be unfair to her. Espescially when the connection isn't there. So I felt being honest was best.

[PrettyinInk]

if that is exactly what you said to her, then you aren't a jerk. it is all about delivery, and making the person feel as though you have their best interest at heart (even when that may not necessarily be the truth). seriously, don't worry about it too much! you were not dating for very long!

[aroll32]

Like PrettyinInk said, don't worry about it. You obviously don't want to be dating this girl. You were just hurt and got out of a relationship, so why do something you don't want to do? When you're single, it should be all about yourself (in a sense). Now, I understand not wanting to make this girl upset, but in all honesty she should understand. It makes sense for her to naturally be upset when you told her what you did, but seriously, if she is a decent person, she would understand what you're going through and not be pissed about it. Unless she really likes you and wants to continue your relationship. That's a whole different ball game, and it really doesn't sound like she's in that one.

 

I don't see any wrong in the OP, I actually see quite the opposite. First off, it doesn't seem like you're too into this girl. That's enough right there man. If you don't want to be in a relationship with this girl, I don't see the reason why you're even giving it a second thought. Go out and have some fun for yourself. Who knows, you might even find some girl that you connect with while doing so. Forget about this one and continue with your own life. Sounds like you have an incredible summer coming up, so enjoy it!!! Don't let this girl get the best of you.