Caught girlfriend on web cam sites / adult chat rooms?

[samsungxoxo]

oh ya, he's a real lucky guy to have a woman that gets off with other men on the internet.

At least that's a lot way better than the typical starfish who hates porn and never looks at other men than her spouse.

You always hear those drama queens posts stating one of the followings:

1) Oh I just caught him watching porn, it's the end of the world

2) Why one earth does he have to look at other women... because he's a human that's why dumb drama queen

3) He is having cyber sex, how could he cheated and now I'm suffering depression everyday, can this be fix? Again, another dumb drama queen.

4) Oh, why does he want sex more often, I'm too tired today... well it's your spouse, why won't you want to be intimate with your love of your life??? You might not be in the mood once or twice (once in a blue moon perhaps) but frequently???

 

And my lists goes on.... As far as I'm concern, drama queens are one of the reasons a man would dump her anytime... that's a good reason.

After all, don't we all have an animal instinct within us? It is human nature....

 

In addition, if my baby brother ever got involve with one of those women (the typical one freaking out over the slightest things), I would advice him to dump her very fast and find another one who's more sane.

Edited May 17, 2010 by samsungxoxo

[Livelovelearn]

dump her, its one step closer to cheating physically! my ex used to go on singles dating websites when we had problems in the relationship i told him i didnt like it, it made me feel like i wasnt good enough, he lied said that wasnt the case and of course couple weeks/months later hes back on it, i tried to accept it (i know i know dumb move on me) but he made me feel so insecure after years with him, and guess what happened even though i told myself its just an "internet" thing its not like hes actually meeting these women or people. Well he eventually met a girl talked to her for two weeks and then pursued her asking her to be his girlfriend while he was still with me and slowly neglecting me! So be smart, cut your losses right now cause there is not bright future for you two in this situation. The red flags are waving

[Livelovelearn]

and no offense to those who are saying its not cheating, but when you put yourself into a situation that makes you want to cheat, or desire what else is out there, im sorry then you should it as clearly being cheating. IF you were good enough, why doesnt she get off at seeing you, maybe you should be open more sexually. Because when i am with a man i love him, i love everything about him , that when i look at another man i dont get the same intense desire. yes we are curious but she seems beyond curious, definately a warning sign, you could choose to ignore it, but it wont be pretty in the end

[Dexter Morgan]

At least that's a lot way better than the typical starfish who hates porn and never looks at other men than her spouse.

 

maybe to someone like you who likes porn and getting off with other guys on the internet, but not me.

 

call me crazy, but why would I want a woman of mine getting off online with another man?

[samsungxoxo]

maybe to someone like you who likes porn and getting off with other guys on the internet, but not me.

 

call me crazy, but why would I want a woman of mine getting off online with another man?

You can call it human nature. At some point we all find the opposite gender attractive.

[Dexter Morgan]

You can call it human nature. At some point we all find the opposite gender attractive.

 

your argument is apples and oranges. everyone finds other people attractive.

 

we are talking about pleasuring yourself with someone else on the internet or otherwise, not simply finding people attractive.

 

the statement was "call me crazy, but why would I want a woman of mine getting off online with another man?"

 

not..."why would I want a woman that simply finds other men attractive?"

[Ruby Slippers]

IF you were good enough, why doesnt she get off at seeing you, maybe you should be open more sexually.

And here is where I play men's favorite card: VARIETY.

 

I think the problems of the posters of LS make a very strong case for honesty and openness. Why can't we all just be honest about what we really want? Almost all the problems on this board come down to people being dishonest and sneaking around to get what they want.

[Art_Critic]

I don't know if I should confront her or not.

 

Honestly if you don't know if you should confront her or not about this then I would think you have more problems than her sex show cheating.

 

Why wouldn't you want to confront her and why didn't want to when you discovered her web cam cheating ?

 

I can't think of anybody that wouldn't confront their SO...

[Jersey Shortie]

OP, sounds like you got to figure out how you feel about this. If you consider it cheating within the relationship, it's cheatingand you need to talk to her. I would also be confused by the message of her telling you, you are all she needs, but seeking adult entertainment of other men outside the relationship. It's a contradictory message to make and not a fair one. When you figured out how you feel on this, you two are still going to have to talk about what's okay sexually within your relationship. On an unrelated note but something to consider, do you do things sexually that she doesn't know about?

 

My views on porn, chats, video, erotica are all the same. They can very much be cheating if a partner considers them cheating. None of this discriminatory bs about how porn is a pre-taped action and therefore it's okay! Wrong. Men defend porn first because that's the number one way *they* are turned on. Not because it's "pre-recorded". They don't want to acknowledge that women can be turned on very differently and they don't want women pursuing those different avenues to express their seuxality. It's the same thing when men say it's okay to go to strip clubs but godforbid their own lady strip for other men, that' the world is ending! They don't want to admit the sexual differences in how women are turned on.

 

I find this thread funny with how many guys came in with "dump her!". Oh how the tables turn. It's actually proven through some studies I think that women are more likely to visit adult chat rooms then look at porn because women tend to be more "verbal" and like the "stories".

 

Now, if we are going to justify men looking at porn because of how "visual" they are, then why would we not justify the ways women are turned on that are seperate from the way men are turned on by being "verbal? Right guys? Men are "visual" and women are more "verbal". Men like to look women like to be looked at.

 

There are just some sexual differences you are not going to override. It's just too bad that society more readily accepts the ways men are turned on and not so easily accepts the different ways women are turned on. Subconciously, men like to control female sexuality. This is why men are 10x more likely to encourage women to view porn, because it's a stereotypical way men are turned on by. It's why women in porn have more stereotypical male attitudes toward sex then stereotypical female ones. They want feminine women but women that think of sex in terms of how men think of sex. But that's not really fair to women. Not enough men encourage women to truly pursue their sexuality outside the careful constructs of what men want first. Hypocrisy all over this thread Guys.

 

By the way, lets take some of the standard arguements men use when they defend porn. (And if I missed a few please feel free to add to my list!):

 

It’s not real!

I only do it "once-in-awhile"!

I'm not going to leave you for that person!

It’s just fantasy!

You’re just insecure!

They are just pixels! (A favorite among LS men)

Once I am all turned on, you can be the one that benefits! (How many guys here like the idea of another man getting your girl all warmed up so she can finish the job with you? You weren’t the main attraction in that equation, just a side-show).

 

These standard expressions of deflection can work for both arguements.

[Reality Drip]

It clearly doesn't bother you enough to end the relationship or call her out on it.

 

The problem is the addiction can escalate to where she is curious enough to meet one of these people Trust me, it's been known to happen.

 

As long as you are aware of the risks then stay involved and benefit from her increased drive. Besides, you have your future married life to not get any.

[SoleMate]

Jersey Shortie, you are brilliant.