You'd think a friend would know better..

[teanoranges]

Just when I think I'm getting past all the good stuff,

my friend has to bring up the fact that he was talking to my exs new gf.. over breakfast.

Agh! The thoughts. trying to fight it.

[GrayClouds]

Just when I think I'm getting past all the good stuff,

my friend has to bring up the fact that he was talking to my exs new gf.. over breakfast.

Agh! The thoughts. trying to fight it.

 

That is when you get to say "If you like me say something bad about her and then please change the subject"

 

Hang in there.

[USMCHokie]

Tea, when I saw you created a new thread in the coping forum, I immediately rushed in armed with my trusty boat paddle!

 

Friends can certainly be silly...but you've been doing so well thus far...this is just a minor bump in the road (if even that...)...

[teanoranges]

Thanks guys.

You know, I would ask my friend not to talk about her (or him for that matter), but its not really a subject I want my friend to know I'm still sensitive about (what, a year later!). Cause surely it would get back to my ex.. and my friend is definitely closer to him.

 

 

I need to be hit with a boat paddle! Knock this stupid emotional crap out of me! You're right though, its a minor bump, if even. I'm getting over the bumps much faster, hopefully they won't phase me at all soon.

[GrayClouds]

Thanks guys.

You know, I would ask my friend not to talk about her (or him for that matter), but its not really a subject I want my friend to know I'm still sensitive about (what, a year later!). Cause surely it would get back to my ex.. and my friend is definitely closer to him.

 

 

I need to be hit with a boat paddle! Knock this stupid emotional crap out of me! You're right though, its a minor bump, if even. I'm getting over the bumps much faster, hopefully they won't phase me at all soon.

 

Who gives a smuck, your allow to feel what you feel. And if your a person who feel things deeply and if it takes a while to work out of the system that says wonderful things about you. If he takes joy in that fact, your the lucky one to have that douche out of your life.

[teanoranges]

Thanks GC, I really need to hear that.

Sometimes I think I'm a little harder on myself than I should be?

Or maybe I care too much about others judging me...

one way or another I need to relax.

[Ilovecake]

Thanks guys.

You know, I would ask my friend not to talk about her (or him for that matter), but its not really a subject I want my friend to know I'm still sensitive about (what, a year later!). Cause surely it would get back to my ex.. and my friend is definitely closer to him.

 

I felt the same way. You just don't want to give your ex the satisfaction of thinking you still might have feelings about him.

 

Even though my friends thought they were doing me a favor by talking smack about my ex's fiance now whenever anyone brings her up I just say "I don't know her so I don't really need to know about her nor can I relate to what you're telling me ." They've sort of learned not to bring her up anymore.

Edited May 14, 2010 by Ilovecake

[teanoranges]

I'm just trying to figure out what to do..

do I let it float over me as I am... my friend has no clue, but it does make me jittery..

or do I let my friend know not to mention that kind of stuff... and how do I bring that I (do I bring it up when he mentions something, or make sure its a calm relaxed... out-of-the-blue conversation?)

[Ilovecake]

I would let the friends know. You don't have to tell them it's hurting you but you have every right to not want to hear about your ex's relationship, whether you're over it or not. You can always just say you would prefer to talk about something else. It's already pretty crappy and insensitive of them to bring her and him up. If they are talking to you about your ex and then they go back to him to let him know what your reaction was then they’re not very good friends to either one of you.

[sedgwick]

Hmm, are you sure this person is really your "friend?"

[teanoranges]

I'm planning on taking it in stride.. I'll see how things go.. if he brings it up again to the point where I feel how I felt, I will mention it.

But this minor bump is turning out to not be much of a bump (surprisingly!)

 

This gentleman is definitely my friend. I have no real doubt in that. We met around the same time that my ex and I met (and he met my ex the same time). We've gone through a lot and he was even my roommate at one point. My issue is just that I've broke down with him 2 years ago when my ex and I went on a 'break' and since then I never really could show my emotions to him that way..

plus, he is very close to the ex. I'm surprised it doesn't come up more often, but I think there is a unspoken agreement about it. He only ever brings it up if some other random person bumps into us and asks about the ex.. or if somehow we are reminiscing about past adventures that occasionally involved him.

I think he thought it was okay to mention her (exs new girl) because I hadn't been showing emotion when his name was spoken or he was asked about.

My friend probably thinks I'm a lot stronger than I really am...

but at the same time I fear asking him not to mention him because

1. I don't want him to know I still have such strong feelings about him.

2. I don't want it to get back to said 'ex'

or have it be made into a bigger deal than it is.