The market for 45-year old men

[just_some_guy]

I have begun to realize that being available and on the market as a 45 year old man isn't bad at all. There seems to be no shortage of woman in this age group, who want a man. Being that I have all my own hair and teeth, in good health, with a good physical appearance, a good personality, high earning potential and low personal craziness, it seems that my attractiveness to potential mates is pretty high.

 

Makes me wonder why was/am I trying so hard to save a marriage in such an unhappy, unhealthy state, when better prospects for a mate seem to be in oversupply. Sure, it means having to filter out the not so good prospects, and indeed, there are many that fit that column. But it is a target-rich environment.

 

That's very different than my 20's, when I was a nerdy, hard-working, struggling fellow who wasn't the life of the party. Seemed a lot harder back then to get a woman's attention. Or maybe I've changed, or both.

[trippi1432]

LOL!! This cracks me up....yes, the age bracket is much better in your 40's unless you go fishing for those younger ladies......I've heard many men talk about how maddening that can be. Mature men are very hard to find at any age....:laugh:

 

It's sort of like that "buyer beware" kind of thing...there's still the flakes, the drug addicts and the (oops, I forgot my wedding band) on the ladies side too, or so I am learning from a male friend of mine.

 

Good luck and happy hunting. lol.

[DadofTwoGirls]

More like hunted..since the woman at my work have found out that my wife has separated from me I've had 4 of them 'make me dinner or lunch'...I can't even think of dating or anything since I have 2 girls and it's been 3 mos...it does help to have that 'you look younger' than you are gene..and working out definitely helps...I'll only lie if they are a hot has heck 20 something because I know it won't last anyway.

[alphamale]

yes, decent men in their 40s have superb prospects

[Woggle]

This is why all these men with walkway and cheating wives should embrace having a chance to find a batter woman. That and a man's woman picking skills tend to get much better after he is betrayed.

[alphamale]

This is why all these men with walkway and cheating wives should embrace having a chance to find a batter woman.

you mean one who is good with pancakes & waffles?

[D-Lish]

This is why all these men with walkway and cheating wives should embrace having a chance to find a batter woman. That and a man's woman picking skills tend to get much better after he is betrayed.

 

I think the majority of those betrayed guys just become bitter and jaded and consequently become less healthy partners.

[Woggle]

you mean one who is good with pancakes & waffles?

 

I am a horrible typist but what I meant was better. Batter women are good as well. You can pancakes out of them or coat chicken with them.

[Woggle]

I think the majority of those betrayed guys just become bitter and jaded and consequently become less healthy partners.

 

That is more the young nice guys and even with them they become players which makes their chances with women so much better. I have seen it happen.

[ADF]

The reason so many men in their 40s complain about not finding women is because they're looking for women in their 20s. Those of us who know better do just fine.

[D-Lish]

That is more the young nice guys and even with them they become players which makes their chances with women so much better. I have seen it happen.

 

I can't tell you how many guys I have met that have the "I got burned by the first girl I ever trusted" story.

 

I've dated guys in their 30's that are still hung up on that first big burn.

[Woggle]

I can't tell you how many guys I have met that have the "I got burned by the first girl I ever trusted" story.

 

I've dated guys in their 30's that are still hung up on that first big burn.

 

It is something that most men never forget and I think it is because they don't expect it. Everything they were taught about respecting women is flipped on it's ear and it is a hard pill to swallow.

[Hot Carl]

I had my first girlfriend in first grade. I still think about her...

 

Amy...

[D-Lish]

It is something that most men never forget and I think it is because they don't expect it. Everything they were taught about respecting women is flipped on it's ear and it is a hard pill to swallow.

 

 

I understand it- because I remember how my world was turned upside down when my first romance turned to crap. It gives you a dose of reality- love isn't like it is in literature. When you are innocent and you get burned, it slaps you in the face with such a force that it's hard to get over.

 

I don't know why, but women seem more resiliant than men when it comes to getting burned. We process it and try again with a lot of that once innocent approach to dating.

[Woggle]

I understand it- because I remember how my world was turned upside down when my first romance turned to crap. It gives you a dose of reality- love isn't like it is in literature. When you are innocent and you get burned, it slaps you in the face with such a force that it's hard to get over.

 

I don't know why, but women seem more resiliant than men when it comes to getting burned. We process it and try again with a lot of that once innocent approach to dating.

 

There are a lot of bitter and manhating women walking around but they hide it better than men for the most part.

[D-Lish]

There are a lot of bitter and manhating women walking around but they hide it better than men for the most part.

 

I am not bitter- and after all I have been through with a husband that knocked up another woman I have reason to be. But I do carry a feeling of hopelessness, and I am skeptical.

 

I try to treat everyone with a fresh outlook, but it's hard.

[trippi1432]

I had my first girlfriend in first grade. I still think about her...

 

Amy...

LOL!! I still remember mine's name, horned rim glasses and missing his front teeth.

[Gunny376]

Good, dependable, mature, responsible, hard working, dedicated men and women are a valuable commodity at any age.

 

But there are a number of different variables that come into play when speaking of the so-called "market for 45 year old men.

 

The first off is that the female to male birth ratio is 51% to 49% ~that is to say that there are more female births than males, and that around the world. This a hugh problem in such countries as China and India where the equivalent of social security is having a son or sons to take care and provide for you in your old age.

 

Next? Men do stupid things ~ a lot of stupid things that get them killed early on. And are more prone to do so than women. The drink too much, smoke to much, don't exercise enough, eat the wrong kinds of food, jump out of airplanes, ride motorcycles, bungee jumping, rock climbing, mountain climbing, work in professions that can and will get you killed ~ electricians, construction work, logging, working on oil rigs, joining the military..............

 

So as time progresses on? By the time a thirty or forty year old woman factors out all the losers, the guys that don't have jobs, can't find a job, hold down a job, drug users, constantly running into trouble with the law, getting locked up, just got out of prison (for the third time), are mentally, emotionally even physically abusive, don't own a car, still living at home with their parents, have four or six wives under their belt, paying bookoo in child support?

 

Well the pickings get kind of slim. Bottom line is that there are more good women than there are good men.

 

I myself have been off of the market for a number of years ~ working on other things. (Getting completely out of debt, saving a years worth equivalent of my civilian income, recession proofing myself ~ and yes divorcing proofing myself ~ that is to say buying and furnishing a house so that if I ever do get re-married she entitled to half of what we acquired after we got married ~ not what I owned before we got married. Holds true in all fifty states)

 

But its a double edge sword. The divorce rate for women that never completed high school is the same as it is for women that hold advance degrees.

 

The reason is simple. A woman who is a high school drop out and in the course of having a couple of children, government aide, child support? She can make it on her own without you.

 

A woman with an advanced and marketable degree doesn't need you to support herself.

 

All of that is well and good ~ but in the end? Its comes down to one thing and one thing only.

 

Go down to your local nursing home and have a look around. All the men and all of the women pretty much look the same.

 

But if you look close enough and hard enough? You'll find a couple that have been together fifty or sixty years. They still hold hands, pat each other on the head, hold their faces in their hands. They still have that "look" toward one another in each others eyes . They still look after one another even thought they're no longer capable of taking care of themselves.

 

She's not the young bride that he married when he got back from the war sixty years ago. And he's not the tough young rutting buck he was back in the day.

 

You go ahead and run the numbers? But me? I'm looking for that woman that's going to hold my face in her hands, hold my hand, still look at me with love in her eyes. Even though I'm old, bald and wrinkled like a old Marine that's been out to sea too long.

 

You can find yourself plenty of @zz, and you can find yourself plenty of really good @zz!

 

But its hard to find a damn good woman!

 

Oh! They're out there for sure and certain. But they're like finding a good job! They too are out there, but they're hard to find, hard to come by, are generally already taken, and your just about going to have to kill them to get them away from them.

 

I would never fool around with another man's wife (I didn't appreciate it one damn bit when one fooled around with mine ).

 

But I've got a friend of mine, who if he passed away tomorrow? I'd be knocking on his wives door not soon after. Not just because she's still a good looking woman for her age (fifty-something) but because of her attitude toward people, life, out-going personality. And simply because she's a damn good woman and person.

 

Like I said they're out there. But what one's they are tend to generally already be taken, and once they come up on the so-called "market?" They don't stay single and lonely for long.

[califnan]

Where are you sought after guys finding the women ... is it at work, the stores, the clubs ....

 

My sons are 42 and have never married.

 

Are the women you are finding divorced and with children .. Have there been any that you would consider yourself equally yoked enough for possible marriage..

 

Let me know where you find them..

 

(my sons are caucasian)

[Gunny376]

Most definitely not at work ~ never and I mean never-ever date the payroll. Things go bad? Well its like pouring a dirty glass of water into a clean drinking glass of water. You just don't want to muddy the water.

 

And it's definitely not in the clubs. At age 42 you don't want them (your sons) to get in with the former "Star of the Bar" At that age range? There's reasons their single and/or never been married.

 

The reason a lot of men get married? Is because they're so lousy at meeting women. Women almost never-ever would be the one to make the opening move. Even in the 21st century that's the man's role.

 

I'm off the market right now because I'm working on other personal goals, issues, etc.

 

But I've never had a problem with meeting and getting with women. In high school, while at a "Arnold's ~ Happy Day" type hamburger joint I walked up to a girl sitting at the counter who's fly to her jeans were open. I told her ~ "Those are some cute pink panties your wearing!" We dated off and on all through high school.

 

Another time, (at the same place) I walked up to a car with two girls I knew, and with one sitting in the middle that I didn't know. I told Lisa and Wanda hi, and asked, "Who's the bitch in the middle?" (She was acting all fussed up and mad!" )

 

Her mouth dropped and asked me what I did I just say? I dated her for about a year or so, until she found out I was only seventeen ~ she was 24.

 

Its like Cindy Lauper song? Girls just want to have fun, and if you ever noticed women are always cutting up, joking, laughing ~ so that's what I do? I make them laugh and have fun.

 

I know all kinds of bar tricks, card tricks, magic tricks. I've a ring that is magnetized that will make metal move under glass, stop watches. Its not manipulation ~ its entertainment.

 

Its just this simple! Girls/Women want to laugh, have a good time, be entertained.

 

I was in WalMart once, and saw a woman in the grocery section, and then saw the same girl in housewares. I had to go back to the grocery section for something I'd forgot. And there she was again.

 

As I was crusing through housewares again? There she was again! I just stopped and asked if I could ask her a personal question? She said sure!

 

"Do you have a twin working here?"

 

She laughed and said yes!

 

I've not asked her out but I'm thinking about it. She's a young widow (thirty something) and is basically set for life. Everytime I go to WalMart I'm checking her out, and she's doing the same!

 

I'm just working on other things right now! And don't need to be in a relationship!

[stepka]

That's very different than my 20's, when I was a nerdy, hard-working, struggling fellow who wasn't the life of the party. Seemed a lot harder back then to get a woman's attention. Or maybe I've changed, or both.

These are the types who tend to gain attractiveness as life goes on and they are usually more shocked than anyone by the extra attention. Have fun with it--you deserve it.

 

And gunny, you give me a call later--I'm in the mood to laugh.

[pureinheart]

Where are you sought after guys finding the women ... is it at work, the stores, the clubs ....

 

My sons are 42 and have never married.

 

Are the women you are finding divorced and with children .. Have there been any that you would consider yourself equally yoked enough for possible marriage..

 

Let me know where you find them..

 

(my sons are caucasian)

 

This is too cute CN...42 huh

[Gunny376]

These are the types who tend to gain attractiveness as life goes on and they are usually more shocked than anyone by the extra attention. Have fun with it--you deserve it.

 

And gunny, you give me a call later--I'm in the mood to laugh.

 

Not exactally sure what you mean by trhis?

[stepka]

Not exactally sure what you mean by trhis?

 

I'm flirting, but guess I'm bad at it after being married for 23 years.

[WalkInThePark]

I have begun to realize that being available and on the market as a 45 year old man isn't bad at all. There seems to be no shortage of woman in this age group, who want a man. Being that I have all my own hair and teeth, in good health, with a good physical appearance, a good personality, high earning potential and low personal craziness, it seems that my attractiveness to potential mates is pretty high.

 

Makes me wonder why was/am I trying so hard to save a marriage in such an unhappy, unhealthy state, when better prospects for a mate seem to be in oversupply. Sure, it means having to filter out the not so good prospects, and indeed, there are many that fit that column. But it is a target-rich environment.

 

That's very different than my 20's, when I was a nerdy, hard-working, struggling fellow who wasn't the life of the party. Seemed a lot harder back then to get a woman's attention. Or maybe I've changed, or both.

 

Well, I am 45 and I sure wouldn't ming dating a man my age, who is available. I just don't have any idea where to meet available men my age. I no longer do internetdating because it was such a depressing experience and I had the feeling that men my age were fishing in the pond of 25-40 years old women.

I personally think I am better now at 45 than at 25. I feel a lot better about myself and I dress and feel a lot more feminine now.