The market for 45-year old men

[trippi1432]

speaking of the nursing home. . . this is the kind of old lady I plan to be

LOL!!! Love it Stepka!!

[Gunny376]

While we're on the YouTube subject?

 

I'm a laugh Chris Rock, Ron White, Richard Pryor fan. I love all kinds of good comedy and music ~ regardless of the source.

 

Make sure the kiddies out of the house or out in the back yard? But this is some of the funniest stuff I 'heard from Chris Rock ~

 

"How not to get your ass kicked by the police!

 

Hilarious stuff.

 

Have you ever noticed on "Cops" that most white and Hispanic guys go quietly? Black guys means a five or ten mile car chase, and a five hundred yard dash through the woods ~ and when caught? The first thing out of their mouths "What did I do?"

 

But women? Its going to take five or six Cops to get them handcuffed, in the back of the car, and even then they still end up trying to kick out the back or side windows?

 

Just for laughs (again make sure the children aren't around?) Check outside [COLOR=#990000]http://www.killsometime.com/Audio/Audio-Clip.asp?ID=26[/COLOR]

 

Back on topic? Women have a harder time finding a good man than men have in finding a good woman.

 

Men are fools in that when they find a good woman? They don't appreciate them for who and what they are, not they've got?

 

But per George Jones, its hard to tell a good one from a bad one until you've got them. A good one will love you until death while a bad one will make damn sure you've got a million dollar insurance policy and that you go first.

 

The fact of the matter is that at least half of all men and women are cheaters, liars, users and abusers. About half it not more or them are incapable of being in a single monogamous relationship? Be they men or women.

 

The problem with a lot of women is simply that they're "Attention Whores"

 

But a lot if not most women? Aren't! They're just looking for a good and devoted man that has a decent car or truck, a job, goes to work and comes home to her everyday?

 

And personally? I don't think that's a whole lot of too damned much to ask for?

 

The problem is? You've got the ones that are capable of being faithful, monogamous hooking up with those that can't or not capable of doing so?

 

Oh sure this thread was started talking about how easy it was about hooking up when your a 45 year old male. I would get bored with a twenty something in fifteen seconds flat.

 

Even a thirty something year old? Sorry! I'm out of the child rearing and child support business and haven't any plans on getting back into it!

 

The "herd" gets even thinner when it comes to the forty or fifty somethings?

 

No! I'm not your early retirement ~ can quit my job plan?

 

Now then?

 

If we're truly compatiable, start out as acquaintences, friends, good friends, truly good friends, the best of friends, best friends and enjoy the same things? We just might have something going here.

 

Sex? Great way to start a morning when neither of you have to work! Great way to end the day!

 

But what tha' hell are you going to do with and for each other the other 23-1/2 to 23-1/4 of each day? There best something there just besides sex?

[You Go Girl]

I'm a laugh Chris Rock, Ron White, Richard Pryor fan. I love all kinds of good comedy and music ~ regardless of the source.

 

Have you ever noticed on "Cops" that most white and Hispanic guys go quietly? Black guys means a five or ten mile car chase, and a five hundred yard dash through the woods ~ and when caught? The first thing out of

 

The problem with a lot of women is simply that they're "Attention Whores"

 

The problem is? You've got the ones that are capable of being faithful, monogamous hooking up with those that can't or not capable of doing so?

 

 

If we're truly compatiable, start out as acquaintences, friends, good friends, truly good friends, the best of friends, best friends and enjoy the same things? We just might have something going here.

 

Sex? Great way to start a morning when neither of you have to work! Great way to end the day!

 

But what tha' hell are you going to do with and for each other the other 23-1/2 to 23-1/4 of each day? There best something there just besides sex?

 

I edited your post for the things I want to comment on...

first do check out Louis Black. He's no blue comedy tour, but urban Jew by blood, but he is my HERO. The first time I saw him, I laughed so hard I cried.

Now years later I did get to see him 3rd row center.

 

In defense of good black men around the world...must say this in a light manner...maybe they say "what did I do?" and run because it's genetic now after being slaves! Joke, but, don't stereotype just because cops shows you the worst.

Same for women. Most women never have the police at their door in their lifetime, and a speeding ticket is the closest they ever come to jail. Statistically, men are WAY AHEAD of what women will ever be when it comes to being arrested!

 

Women as attention whores--must admit, this has some validity to it. Why? honestly, it may have more to do with that we love talking and communication in general. How some men can sit quietly and barely speak a word, even at social gatherings, (ie my first H) is beyond me. Isn't social situations all about conversing?

 

As for the sex/hours in a day issue...it does seem to be more men that don't care about what happens the rest of the day, as long as that one criteria is met!

[Gunny376]

Of course comedy isn't an absolute its a little mirror of real life. Fact of the matter is? 90% + of all people be they African-American, Hispanic-American (And BTW? In my opinion? They're are only Americans and not hyphenated Americans. Last time I checked? So called African-Americans. Irish Americans, Italian Americans, Latino-Americans?

 

They bleed the same blood as I did in so so long as it was the same type.

[just_some_guy]

Gunny,

 

I'm seeing a theme in your posts, that the women are in general somehow better than the men.

 

It just ain't so. There are LOTS of very screwed up women out there. Yes, indeed there are! It ain't just the men that are off their rockers. There are plenty, plenty, plenty of women with drug problems, co-dependency, abusive personalities, mental disorders, self-destructive behavior, eating disorders, body odor, poor hygiene, dresses funny, whatever and then some.

 

The deal I think for anyone, male or female, is to match up with someone who's dealt with and continues to deal with their own mess, as well as we have and are willing to deal with our own. That's in addition to having some common grounds for belief, physical attraction, likes to have sex about as frequently as our selves, and so on and so forth.

[trippi1432]

Gunny,

 

I'm seeing a theme in your posts, that the women are in general somehow better than the men.

 

It just ain't so. There are LOTS of very screwed up women out there. Yes, indeed there are! It ain't just the men that are off their rockers. There are plenty, plenty, plenty of women with drug problems, co-dependency, abusive personalities, mental disorders, self-destructive behavior, eating disorders, body odor, poor hygiene, dresses funny, whatever and then some.

 

The deal I think for anyone, male or female, is to match up with someone who's dealt with and continues to deal with their own mess, as well as we have and are willing to deal with our own. That's in addition to having some common grounds for belief, physical attraction, likes to have sex about as frequently as our selves, and so on and so forth.

 

Eh, I think you are half right, most of us are here because we have issues and have had our hearts broken in one way or another...doesn't mean we are totally broken or screwed up, means we are in transition. You are correct, there are plenty of women and men that are screwed up out there, but the ones who are truly working on themselves deserve more credit (that I agree with).

 

On the second part of your post, how are you even going to know until you have dated them for 6 months to a year? Again, so much more to a relationship than just physical attraction and sex....morals and values...yes....but I would rather find someone unique and would love me for my unique qualities as well. It gives the relationship some balance.

[Gunny376]

Gunny,

 

I'm seeing a theme in your posts, that the women are in general somehow better than the men.

 

It just ain't so. There are LOTS of very screwed up women out there. Yes, indeed there are! It ain't just the men that are off their rockers. There are plenty, plenty, plenty of women with drug problems, co-dependency, abusive personalities, mental disorders, self-destructive behavior, eating disorders, body odor, poor hygiene, dresses funny, whatever and then some.

 

The deal I think for anyone, male or female, is to match up with someone who's dealt with and continues to deal with their own mess, as well as we have and are willing to deal with our own. That's in addition to having some common grounds for belief, physical attraction, likes to have sex about as frequently as our selves, and so on and so forth.

 

Oh trust me my friend? I know that they're are just as many screwed up women as there are men.

[Gunny376]

Come to think of it?

 

I've done been where your at and back, gone back again and come back again. And then been there and back again!

 

There's nothing you can tell me about women that I don't already know!

 

Just like men? Half of them are crazy in the head already! But more men are crazy than women because women haven't been through the half of it that they have (Discounting the rapist, the child molestors, the wife-beaters etc)

 

Its a lot of stress working a job, proividing for a family, putting food on the table (and more and more women are realizing that reality without a man)

 

 

I by no means give women a free pass!

 

But think about this? I've a co-equal ~ co-worker whose daugther is shacked up with an ex-conffidct without a job, nor a car who's been to re-hab, that sits around on his dead ~@zz all day drinking beer and throwing the cans in the front yard?

 

But that' ture for women as well! Next time you push an eight or nine month old stoll trough your !@ss? Let me know because that's one for the Guinness Book of Records!

[stepka]

It just ain't so. There are LOTS of very screwed up women out there. Yes, indeed there are! It ain't just the men that are off their rockers. There are plenty, plenty, plenty of women with drug problems, co-dependency, abusive personalities, mental disorders, self-destructive behavior, eating disorders, body odor, poor hygiene, dresses funny, whatever and then some.

 

The deal I think for anyone, male or female, is to match up with someone who's dealt with and continues to deal with their own mess, as well as we have and are willing to deal with our own. That's in addition to having some common grounds for belief, physical attraction, likes to have sex about as frequently as our selves, and so on and so forth.

 

Let's just cut right to the chase. We're all crazy in some way or another. The trick is to find someone whose got the brand of crazy you can live with. Those women who are addicted to meth? There's are plenty of men out there who are just right for them.

[trippi1432]

Trippi1432 -----> Scared....never leaving my house again.....:o:o

[stepka]

Maybe it's only my first cup of coffee, or maybe I'm just daft--

I don't get the picnic line, somebody explain it in child's terms to me. lol

 

That's what she said at the picnic: That's right! I agree. You can say that again!

 

My daughter clued me in to a very nice resource, esp since I work with high school kids--it's http://www.urbandictionary.com Any little piece of slang you see you can just plug it in to the UD. Glad I did--I'm familiar with the one that goes, "That's what she said!" but this isn't the same at all.

[Gunny376]

I've never done drugs!

 

Afraid I might like them!

 

Helll I try and stay away from Bayer Asprin!

 

Broke my foot, and the MD gave me a prescition for pain killers?

 

Forget you! I'll deal with the pain!

[You Go Girl]

That's what she said at the picnic: That's right! I agree. You can say that again!

 

My daughter clued me in to a very nice resource, esp since I work with high school kids--it's www.urbandictionary.com Any little piece of slang you see you can just plug it in to the UD. Glad I did--I'm familiar with the one that goes, "That's what she said!" but this isn't the same at all.

 

Thanks stepka, for clarifying that for me. Yeah, I've been to urbandictionary. I didn't know if it was a line from a movie or what!

[phineas]

I've never done drugs!

 

Afraid I might like them!

 

Helll I try and stay away from Bayer Asprin!

 

Broke my foot, and the MD gave me a prescition for pain killers?

 

Forget you! I'll deal with the pain!

 

That's what Ted Nugent said on his reality TV show when he got a little careless with a chainsaw.

[trippi1432]

I just had to bring this thread back to life for a minute for all you men wondering what is going on in the dating market.

 

A male friend and I had a discussion recently. He was going on a dinner date that had been "set up" for him. I said...Oh, well that is a date in her mind. He said, really....I didn't think of it that way.

 

I was going on a "meet and greet" with a guy with similar interests as me. I was informed that he may not consider it a meet and greet but rather a date....let's see....the guy showed up with his friends, bought food and offered myself and my friend none, did not offer to buy me a drink and fussed about having to pay to get into the club for as far as he had to drive.

 

Can anyone say "LOSER". :rolleyes::rolleyes:

 

When, and if I ever do start dating again, I will be hoping for a Sean Connery...I don't care how old he is....LOL.

 

Just thought I would share in case any of you in the 40 market need to understand that a real woman expects to be treated like a real woman. :)

[You Go Girl]

Lame is in Trippi?

 

I don't expect a 'date' at first. I think a cup of coffee and a conversation will suit me just fine.

No money paid by guy= no pressure for me to treat him differently than two friends out.

Now you have me wondering. What will a date be like? I don't want to date! Yuck!

How about just go somewhere, do something...leave that word out of the equation?

I've always imagined Sean Connery with too big of an ego and a womanizer because of it. lol

[trippi1432]

Lame is in Trippi?

 

I don't expect a 'date' at first. I think a cup of coffee and a conversation will suit me just fine.

No money paid by guy= no pressure for me to treat him differently than two friends out.

Now you have me wondering. What will a date be like? I don't want to date! Yuck!

How about just go somewhere, do something...leave that word out of the equation?

I've always imagined Sean Connery with too big of an ego and a womanizer because of it. lol

 

Hmm, true...but Connery is a gentleman....all men are womanizer's in my bucket...lol!! Sorry guys.

 

I guess I am still old-fashioned....if a guy asks me out, I would expect him to pay. Vice-Versa if the other way around. Dutch is okay as well, it depends on the man as it can be insulting to them sometimes. I will say that I admire a guy who does let me pay every once in a while, shows he isn't ego-minded.

 

Coffee and conversation, not a date...just a meet to see where it goes.

 

Dinner and a movie - that's different, that's pretty much a date.

 

And if he or she is bringing you lunch everyday....you are full on in a relationship...LOL!!!

 

Too funny....anyone else...what is dating these days....:bunny:

[You Go Girl]

You know what trippi--

it's going to be friends first for all relationships in my future. None of this putting on dating personas and all that.

No old fashioned dates. They make me nervous.

How about a cup of coffee, and if I like the conversation, I might tear his clothes off...oops, are we still on the first date scenario?

ok, you know I'm in a weird state of mind today!

Doing real stuff together. Antiquing, because that's what I do. Or fixing his boat. Or helping him get his ailing mother in and out of the shower. Anything but a 'date'.

Maybe a casual bbq at his place or mine. A glass of wine, watch the stars, watch out for the mosquitos. A good movie on the dvd player, not the theatre.

I was so romanced during the courtship of my marriage--all the over the top stuff, expensive dinners, dancing, gowns and pearls--

now I want something REAL and grounded.

[trippi1432]

You know what trippi--

it's going to be friends first for all relationships in my future. None of this putting on dating personas and all that.

 

Yeah, the friend thing is a hard one too....my first ex was my best friend...I lost both along with my heart.

 

No old fashioned dates. They make me nervous.

How about a cup of coffee, and if I like the conversation, I might tear his clothes off...oops, are we still on the first date scenario?

ok, you know I'm in a weird state of mind today!

 

LMAO!!! :o:o:o

Not sure if that qualifies...but I'm sure there are men in the market for it...better than a bar.

 

Doing real stuff together. Antiquing, because that's what I do. Or fixing his boat. Or helping him get his ailing mother in and out of the shower. Anything but a 'date'.

Maybe a casual bbq at his place or mine. A glass of wine, watch the stars, watch out for the mosquitos. A good movie on the dvd player, not the theatre.

I was so romanced during the courtship of my marriage--all the over the top stuff, expensive dinners, dancing, gowns and pearls--

now I want something REAL and grounded.

 

Well, the important thing is taking some time out for you right now to get yourself together. I hope to get back to that feeling where I was glad that I was starting over again...I think I just have to adjust to being totally alone and be comfortable with it. It's finding your own REAL and grounded self (that balance and center that I posted about many months ago).

 

So, in answer to the OP's question....there's some of your market.

[Gunny376]

There is no definitive time line as to when an individual should start dating again ~ it depends upon the individual.

 

What is important is having your life and affairs in order ~ no drama ~ no turmoil. You've a stable financial situation and you and ex aren't arguing anymore and are at peace with one another, the separation, the divorce.

 

For most this can take a year or more. Especially in this economy.

 

It also depends upon whether you were the one that made the decision to end the relationship or the opposite? There are other factors to consider?

 

Were you blind sighted ~ "gas lighted" into believing that all was right with your marriage and the world? Only to suddenly find yourself with a WAW or WAH?

 

It varies with the individuals and the uniqueness of the relationship ~ and each relationship is unique and different. There's no definitive "time limit" nor "time line"

 

But before you do start back to dating again ~ you most definitely need to have your head out of @zz, your head and @zz wired back together, and have your act together.

 

Now that your separated? Now is the time to quit being a fool and get yourself back into school and learn about the two most important things that are not taught in school at any level.

 

Personal Finance and Interpersonal Relationships. (Be they with your parents, children, lovers, spouses, co-workers)

 

I've learned that common courtesy, paying others proper respect, tact, treating and speaking to others the way you would want to be treated and spoken to ~ goes a long, long way in getting more of the same coming back your way?

 

And the thing is? It doesn't cost one single dime! Saying such things as "Sir, Ma'am, Thank you, Appreciate that, appreciate you" Gets you a lot of mileage with others.

 

I work in a lab, and the workers from the plant wear hard hats they have numbers posted on them ~ such as #104, or 105?

 

And that's how they refer to each other for the most part ~ "105 said this, and 110 did this, and 310 didn't do his part!"

 

I went out to the plant and got a sheet and found out what they're real names were? I don't call them "101 or 102" when they bring me a sample to the lab? I call them James, Robert, etc. I ask them how they're doing, give them a paper towel or such to wipe the sweat off of their brow, go down the hall and get them a cold cup of water.

 

My point in telling you this? To get respect? You've got to give respect.

 

"Tact" ~ Treating and speaking to others as if you were they?

 

You most definitely do not want to get into the dating scene again unless you have your financial house in order. That means minimizing expenses, maximizing income, eradicating debt.

 

It also means getting yourself to where you can go at least six months to a year without any income coming in. Also known as savings.

 

During the Great Recession ~ they're currently 15 million people out of work ~ many for over two years ~ many of them with college degree's. I've a co-worked who's son has a degree from Auburn University (one of the more predominant engineering universities) who worked for and got laid off from IBM, (his degree is in computer engineering) and had to move back in with his parents with his wife and DD?

 

Depend upon no one, rely upon no one ~ especially if your a woman with children?

Edited June 7, 2010 by Gunny376

[Gunny376]

The important thing to learn "post-divorce" is now you've got a good and clear pretty picture of not only what your looking for?

 

But what you not looking for!

[Gunny376]

BTW I'm breaking this up in to parts because I know I tend to make long post that are hard for some to read.

 

Dating? The problem with a lot of people is they tend to try and go from being acquaintances to lovers?

 

You've got to start out as acquaintances, then friends, then good friends, then best of friends, and then being each others best of friends ~ and then lovers.

 

It is an absolute fact that the amount of time between meeting one another and having intimate relationship with one another is proportionate to how long the relationship will last.

 

One night stands? Last about two days? MAX!

 

Two months? Might equal out to two years?

 

You've got to take the time to learn and know one another and learn how to communicate mentally, physicaly, intellectually etc.

 

Communication is the key!

 

Trouble is?

 

Men are lousy at it!

[Gunny376]

When it comes to dating? I plan a date around something I would do and enjoy alone anyway? That way?

 

I still get to have a good time in case I have someone back out or a "no show"

 

Its not so much "lets do this" as "I'm going to here, there, and do this ~ would you like to join me?

[Gunny376]

In a recent "Men's Health" interview?

 

Bruce Willis said after his divorce from Demi Moore, that he would never marry again.

 

He dated women ~ but his attitude was? There's no way this is going to get serious, leading to a serious relationship, let alone marriage ~ so lets just go out and have a good time?

 

I agree! Just because we go out and have a good time with one another doesn't obligate you ~ nor do I expect you to have sex with me? I don't care if we've been out sixty times. (Although somewhere around the ninth or tenth time? I would expect you yo contribute at least some part to the cause?)

[Gunny376]

There was talk of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore reoncilling?

 

But she choose to marry actor Ashton Kutcher.

 

Bruce with his three daughters?

 

Attended the wedding!

 

If not that's manning up? I don't know what is!

 

More than twenty years ago?

 

I wrote my letter to my wife a letter (which she never read)

 

"I would rather see you happy with someone else? Than miserable with me!"

 

At the time I was so wrapped up in the day to day struggle of being a career Marine ~ it took everything I had mentally, emotionally, physicallly just to make it day to day.