Engadget Posted May 14, 2010 Share Posted May 14, 2010 I'm not the prototypical "nice guy", nor am I the jerk end of the spectrum. I was in a relationship with a girl I loved for 6 years, and unfortunately things got bad between us and it eventually ended. I have no issue talking to girls, and I'm not "woe is me" at all even if the loneliness creeps in once and again. I'm also not willing to be a slut, because truthfully it's not at all what I want. In a lot of ways I'm a contradiction. Of course I love sex, and miss it pretty much all the time. However I turn 25 in a month, and I feel like that one night stand part of my life is behind me. I never did really like one night stands anyway, when I connect with someone on a deeper level the sex is miles better than random sex. It's only been about 4 months since the ex and I broke up for good, and we did hang out occasionally and have sex until I put a stop to it a month or so ago. There are two girls I've hung out with, and posted about a handful of times. Both are attractive, young and fun, albeit both a little crazy. Unfortunately I don't get that deep connection with either of them, so I pretty much intentionally friend-zoned them (I know, a guy friend zoning a girl? WHAAAT?). I guess I'm rambling now, but I guess one point is to women who think all guys are out there for sex, not all of us are. Nor are we all woe-is-me, and some of us are just more mature and/or into dating for something significant. Sadly my pickiness combined with the inability to really find someone to connect with probably means I'll remain single for some time to come, which is probably a good thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted May 14, 2010 Share Posted May 14, 2010 there really is no rush. it will happen when it does. Met my perfect match when I wasn't expecting it. Best thing ever. Link to post Share on other sites
Cracker Jack Posted May 15, 2010 Share Posted May 15, 2010 Yeah, honestly, real connection isn't something you simply look for and find. I know many disagree with that, but after my countless journeys of searching, I've realized that I need to look at it another way. You're in a good position, and still young, so as mentioned--there really should be no urgency on your part. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Engadget Posted May 15, 2010 Author Share Posted May 15, 2010 You're right that it just sort of happens, however it's tough with the nagging loneliness. Wanting to find it may make it harder to actually find it. Much like how many more girls are around when you have a girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted May 15, 2010 Share Posted May 15, 2010 Sadly my pickiness combined with the inability to really find someone to connect with It actually doesn't sound as if you're "picky" -- more like you know what you want and you're not willing to settle. "Discerning." You are discerning. Not yet having found what you're looking for in a partner is not an "inability", either. It's not like you can acquire knowledge or skills to accomplish it. Your ideal partner also has to be ready to want to be found by you. And, on top of that, she was to be ready to find you. You will simultaneously show up in each other's lives when all necessary things are in alignment -- have faith in that, carry on with your life and personal development, and let the rest take care of itself. Maybe? Link to post Share on other sites
Disillusioned Posted May 15, 2010 Share Posted May 15, 2010 The ranks of "selectives" have just grown by one more... I think all of us selective types should start our own site for serious singles only... ones who know pretty well what we want in a partner. Link to post Share on other sites
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