What next?

[Eve]

I am not unhappy with my faith at all.. I am just wondering what can come next?

 

That sense of judgement within me that I understand resides within us all is now refined. This has opened a major door to my little heart... but what next?

 

I cant complain about anything really (all things considered) but I dont know what now to aim for now.

 

I am content and I ride the wave of discontentedness quite well .. mainly because I dont aim for perfection anymore... although I do in an abstract way.

 

Has anyone else been in such a situation?

 

I am looking here for insight.

 

Thanks,

Take care,

Eve xx

[pureinheart]

Hi Eve,

 

What happened? Did I miss something in you post...I feel like I need more info.

 

FTR, I have been on that "E" ride for quite sometime now and am not sure how much longer I can do this, although what other choice is there?

 

Sorry Eve, I have to have things spelled out ...

[TaraMaiden]

I think you just have to implement what you know from day to day.

 

Life, day-to-day, is not always full of revelations and new constructive experiences.

 

Our calling matters when things look bleak, not when things are rumbling along sedately....

 

The big thing is to view what it is you know your calling teaches you to expect from yourself, and ask yourself whether you have realised this, and are living it day to day.

It's one thing to know.

it's quite another, to do.

Until your calling oozes from every pore then 'what can come next' is not the question.

The question is, "Am I putting my money where my mouth is, 100%, 100% of the time?"

 

'What comes next?' Will become evident.

[Eve]

Hi Eve,

 

What happened? Did I miss something in you post...I feel like I need more info.

 

FTR, I have been on that "E" ride for quite sometime now and am not sure how much longer I can do this, although what other choice is there?

 

Sorry Eve, I have to have things spelled out ...

 

Before there was the aim to know God more.. it was like all consuming. Now I know He is there but things have changed so much in my life. Due to the extreme nature of my intro to the whole God thing I cannot say that my faith is any the less.. I just dont seem to have an aim anymore within my faith.

 

Hubby says to just enjoy my life and that things will deepen again over time and not to worry about it...

 

Dunno, maybe he is right?

 

Maybe I am not that messed up girl anymore .. finally?

 

Maybe this is it and there wont be anymore big changes? Just a steadiness now?

 

Maybe thats ok?

 

I cant quite accept that there is nothing else for me to aim for though..

 

Take care,

Eve xx

[Eve]

I think you just have to implement what you know from day to day.

 

Life, day-to-day, is not always full of revelations and new constructive experiences.

 

Our calling matters when things look bleak, not when things are rumbling along sedately....

 

The big thing is to view what it is you know your calling teaches you to expect from yourself, and ask yourself whether you have realised this, and are living it day to day.

It's one thing to know.

it's quite another, to do.

Until your calling oozes from every pore then 'what can come next' is not the question.

The question is, "Am I putting my money where my mouth is, 100%, 100% of the time?"

 

'What comes next?' Will become evident.

 

Wise words..

 

.. but I want life to be like this!

 

If not, its still all of the same, regardless of how connected I am to others and to God. As an individual, there must be another aim otherwise I am just listening all the time. I can do this to the point of being invisible and its just faith and connection.. but there must be another point to reach.

 

I feel The Holy Spirit buzzing inside of me and I do what I am supposed to do and I know what I am supposed to do but feel as though there is still something missing.

 

There must still be another aim.

 

I am not explaining this very well. The answer will come. It always does..

 

There is something else I need to do, but I dont know what it is as yet.

 

Is it just faith and action in a cycle until I die?

 

Maybe I am going through some sort of age related change?

 

 

Take care,

Eve xx

[TaraMaiden]

"They also serve who only stand and wait...."

 

Purpose is sometimes communicated in very calm, subtle, non-explosive ways.

You can't expect whistles and bells, but what you need to do, is not so much look in askance, but simply Pay Attention.

 

Opportunity is often hard to recognise if people are waiting for a big break.

[pureinheart]

Before there was the aim to know God more.. it was like all consuming. Now I know He is there but things have changed so much in my life. Due to the extreme nature of my intro to the whole God thing I cannot say that my faith is any the less.. I just dont seem to have an aim anymore within my faith.

 

Hubby says to just enjoy my life and that things will deepen again over time and not to worry about it...

 

Dunno, maybe he is right?

 

Maybe I am not that messed up girl anymore .. finally?

 

Maybe this is it and there wont be anymore big changes? Just a steadiness now?

 

Maybe thats ok?

 

I cant quite accept that there is nothing else for me to aim for though..

 

Take care,

Eve xx

 

Hey thanks for more info...have to say, I'm sorta right where your at. Now retired (early), I say the same, "WHAT NOW".

 

I know there's not the emotional stability that I crave, although most of the major changes, to my knowledge, have been completed also.

 

The only lack there is is a suitable mate...and yes this would build my spirits, although there is an understanding that I'm not ready yet (possibly due to not meeting the right one yet...bet if he came along I'd be ready...lol).

 

There is a great need for direction, I'm in this pit right now...but all of the negative stuff I've communicated IS temporary.

 

I hear the same thing you do...to enjoy and relax...but after raising two kids on my own and working for off and on for 33 yrs...well I don't know how to relax ...too much relaxation time with no one to relax with...you know?

 

Good luck eve....I too enjoyed what Tara had to say

[D-Lish]

Maybe that "buzz" is a prompt to challenge yourself more.

Maybe you need a new hobby or challenge.

 

Regardless of whether or not you believe in god, I hope you believe you have control over your destiny... If you do- find a passion and fill the void.

[pureinheart]

Wise words..

 

.. but I want life to be like this!

 

If not, its still all of the same, regardless of how connected I am to others and to God. As an individual, there must be another aim otherwise I am just listening all the time. I can do this to the point of being invisible and its just faith and connection.. but there must be another point to reach.

 

I feel The Holy Spirit buzzing inside of me and I do what I am supposed to do and I know what I am supposed to do but feel as though there is still something missing.

 

There must still be another aim.

 

I am not explaining this very well. The answer will come. It always does..

 

There is something else I need to do, but I dont know what it is as yet.

 

Is it just faith and action in a cycle until I die?

 

Maybe I am going through some sort of age related change?

 

 

Take care,

Eve xx[/quote]

 

I have been thinking this also...the "change"...even had hot flashes...but the hot flashes might be due to a kidney infection ...so I'm a bit confused also....

 

This is just such a dry season for me...really dry...I try to get in the Spirit and I'm too numb...

 

"They also serve who only stand and wait...."

 

Purpose is sometimes communicated in very calm, subtle, non-explosive ways.

You can't expect whistles and bells, but what you need to do, is not so much look in askance, but simply Pay Attention.

 

Opportunity is often hard to recognise if people are waiting for a big break.[/quote]

 

This is so true Tara, being a mover and a shaker, also a major people person...operating in the gifts moving in the miracles...no matter what experiencing that richness of God...and now numb.

 

I hate this, as revelation was always a thought away...now my mind seems empty...does this make sense?

 

I know paying attention is the key, although am unable to stay focused. It is a very dry season

[Crusoe]

So you have pulled all the weeds from your garden? If so, the answer is to plant flowers in their place. Same life, same garden, more flowers, a better you.

 

Content is good, but good ain't good enough. Opportunity is everywhere. Tommorrow I go to work, my opportunity is to do my job better than I did the day before, if I can do that I've added a new flower to my garden.

 

Same life, just a little more colourful.

[Eve]

So you have pulled all the weeds from your garden? If so, the answer is to plant flowers in their place. Same life, same garden, more flowers, a better you.

 

Content is good, but good ain't good enough. Opportunity is everywhere. Tommorrow I go to work, my opportunity is to do my job better than I did the day before, if I can do that I've added a new flower to my garden.

 

Same life, just a little more colourful.

 

 

I like this much muchly!

 

After a lot, lot, lot of prayer I have concluded that I am once again simply thinking too much. I have always had issues around 'patience' and I am going to use this prompt as a nudge to slow down a bit and enjoy my life.

 

I have indeed pulled out some significant weeds from my garden and maybe I should take a little time and gather what that feels like instead of trying to immediately find something else! Using the flower analogy further, I am committed to planting new flowers within my garden but think that I should avoid exotic ones for a while and appreciate the common ones I see everyday.

 

Pureinheart.. I do think I am going through something age related as well and will do some more walking and probably take some cod liver oil vitamin capsules. I am approaching forty.. I think I need to look after myself a bit more.

 

Over time, I have noted that intense periods of over thoughtfulness can come about through stress. My daughter has been very challenging of late and maybe the 'what next?' question is linked to her behaviours as well? H'mmm.. could be. We are however getting on really well at the moment though.

 

.. There is a lot in my life to appreciate.

 

I watched that That Joel Osteen guy earlier on today and the message he had was SO uplifting. It put things into perspective a lot! Much has happened within the last twenty years and really I probably am half way through my life now and I am a completely different person. It stands to reason that further changes will happen but just like what has passed I will not be able to pick apart those changes. It happens through choice, Grace and goodwill.

 

No, I cant turn away from God that was not really my issue. That would impossible for me to do anyway. I think I am at a junction and need to look back down the road I have just walked ( .. and partly crawled) The dry seasons have been horrid but they are not really that striking anymore. I think that the 'old pain' has gone... finally .. and I dont need to look for it anymore.

 

Over the weekend, God help me, I will find a way to recommit my life afresh to God.

 

Its been a while since I have done that... years in fact. Nothing dramatic, a nice stroll somewhere serene is what is needed methinks.

 

I will be thinking of you Pureinheart and those who took the time to read this.

 

.. Here I go again with this patience thing. It seriously needs to go away.. or maybe it doesnt?

 

Thanks anyway.

 

Take care,

Eve xx

Edited May 20, 2010 by Eve

[Crusoe]

Also approaching 40, also think too much, also impatient and also trying to slow down and smell the roses a little more.

 

I tried the planting the common flowers, they were ok, but the exotic ones grabbed my attention more, always have, always will.

 

Going for a walk is great, but when did you last go for a walk under the stars, in summer rain, or when the sun was rising? A little more exotic, a little more inspiring.

[Eve]

Also approaching 40, also think too much, also impatient and also trying to slow down and smell the roses a little more.

 

I tried the planting the common flowers, they were ok, but the exotic ones grabbed my attention more, always have, always will.

Going for a walk is great, but when did you last go for a walk under the stars, in summer rain, or when the sun was rising? A little more exotic, a little more inspiring.

 

I had hoped that my job would fully satisfy my desire to reach out for things that are not usual. Although I love everyday and get paid pretty decently.. no, it has not. My job doesnt even stress me out.. I love it, love it, love it!!!

 

When I look at my daughters I see the same trait in them. I have apologised to them because they too have this longing for the exotic that disturbs their sleep and takes them along strange but interesting paths.

 

Right now I think I need to do something superficial as well as serene. Something like a weekend at Alton Towers should do it! Theres nothing like the thrill of a scary ride! Or listening to seriously happy, or cheesy music to bring me back into line.

 

H'mmm yes, I love walking in the rain and venturing out during the morning chorus. Seeking out 'eureka' moments will always be like a drug to me I suppose.. but I cant keep drowning like this during the quiet times.

 

All in all, I think my soul longs for God and for peace to be complete on the Earth. I think I do my bit well.. but the world is in a bit of a state really. Its not easy to block it all out.

 

... but the spell has been broken .. until another day.

 

Feeling WAY better!

 

Maybe this is just how it is? Maybe this is just part of faith itself?

 

I feel for those who get stuck within these moments.

 

But .. patience..

 

Take care,

Eve xx

[Crusoe]

Maybe this is just how it is? Yup, this is it, and this is what faith is all about, carrying you through the quiet times until you reach the other side.

 

My passion in life is golf, and in so many ways golf is similar to life. Take the swing itself, when you begin the game you are learning, you add and add to your swing, planting flowers, eureka moments time after time, learning to hit long, control tragectory and spin, all great fun. But if you want to be good, really good, you then have to strip the swing bare, pull out all the weeds, this is where most people fail, this is the long hard slog, repetition, repetition, repetition, simplify. It's the quiet time, the bleak time, nothing is new, every ball you hit is the same, every shot is the same, it's so damned boring. Most quit, they know they could be good, yet they quit. Frustrated, disillusioned and disheartened.

 

The ones that don't quit learn that this is it, this is all there is, no more, no less. It's so simple, so easy, so black and white. Then you start planting flowers again, not in your swing, out there on the course, infact they naturally spring up around you. Why? Because you have faith, 100% faith. You know yourself and your swing inside out. They are one and the same. Fluid. You don't even have to think, or hope, or wonder, you more than know, you become. Somewhere in your quest for perfection, you become.

 

You say your soul longs for God and for peace to be complete on the Earth. That's perfection. Try to obtain it and you become part of it.

[Eve]

Maybe this is just how it is? Yup, this is it, and this is what faith is all about, carrying you through the quiet times until you reach the other side.

 

My passion in life is golf, and in so many ways golf is similar to life. Take the swing itself, when you begin the game you are learning, you add and add to your swing, planting flowers, eureka moments time after time, learning to hit long, control tragectory and spin, all great fun. But if you want to be good, really good, you then have to strip the swing bare, pull out all the weeds, this is where most people fail, this is the long hard slog, repetition, repetition, repetition, simplify. It's the quiet time, the bleak time, nothing is new, every ball you hit is the same, every shot is the same, it's so damned boring. Most quit, they know they could be good, yet they quit. Frustrated, disillusioned and disheartened.

 

The ones that don't quit learn that this is it, this is all there is, no more, no less. It's so simple, so easy, so black and white. Then you start planting flowers again, not in your swing, out there on the course, infact they naturally spring up around you. Why? Because you have faith, 100% faith. You know yourself and your swing inside out. They are one and the same. Fluid. You don't even have to think, or hope, or wonder, you more than know, you become. Somewhere in your quest for perfection, you become.

 

You say your soul longs for God and for peace to be complete on the Earth. That's perfection. Try to obtain it and you become part of it.

 

 

Wow Crusoe! That was a really fabulous post! I shall certainly find a way to print it off and keep it on my vision board.

 

Yes, it is all about becoming and partaking in this within others too.

 

My Husband has asked me to also say thank you for that message. Absolutely fabulous..

 

 

Chin up!

 

Take care,

Eve xx

[Crusoe]

Aw shucks, now I feel all doopey. Thank you.