ilovefreshair Posted May 17, 2010 Share Posted May 17, 2010 I've known this guy for 10 years. We started to date (very brief) and I was crazy about him but he was involved in some not good things back then and lied to me, so I broke it off. After less than a year, we became friends again... infact very good friends. 5 years ago, we dated a second time not long after I was very hurt by someone else. We went from friends to practically married and that terrified me. I couldn't handle that kind of relationship at that point and broke it off. Fast forward to present. He and I are incredibly close friends.... I know that this is such an unlikely relationship to have with an ex(x2) but these days he is that person who has seen me at my best and worst and whom I love dearly. It's confusing to say the least. I love spending time with him, we have a ton in common and I know he would treat me like a queen so lately I have been wondering if this is worthy of giving another shot, and I am fairly certain he feels the same. So what's the problem? Because we have been friends for so long, we are soo comfortable together. I'm not sure how we could create romance or if it's even possible given our history. This is also not a friendship I want to lose... so there is a lot at stake here. Has anyone been in a similar circumstance or have any insight for me? I don't have a lot of long-term relationship experience and they way I feel seems almost like a love where the spark has dwindled... could it be revived? I even wonder, is this what all relationships do at some point anyways? Link to post Share on other sites
ADF Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 Not persuing a relationship because you're too good of friends? That is the most illogical thing I'e heard. Would he be more attractie to you if you liked him less? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilovefreshair Posted May 18, 2010 Author Share Posted May 18, 2010 Illogical, maybe.. but as I told you I don't have much long-term relationship experience. That's why I'm here asking for help! Considering he and I have dated other people in between us having dated, it's almost like you form a certain acceptance that you feel strongly for them but won't be with them... it's not an easy transition. Basically with him I forsee us as being unable to have an "in love" phase at this point. I feel like if we were to start dating again, it would very quickly become serious, considering we already have strong feelings for each other in other ways. So, say I were to go ahead with this.... what could we do differently to make a date "special" and "romantic" to try and generate some sparks? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilovefreshair Posted May 19, 2010 Author Share Posted May 19, 2010 That's a great idea! Thanks.. This has been building up for a few months since he and I took a trip away together and I'm seeing him shortly. Soo..... tonight is the night we at least sit down and lay our cards out on the table. At least, *I* intend to do that. Lately it's as if we're skirting the issue so the tension remains........ hopefully together we can come to a mutual decision about the best plan and clear the air at the very least! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilovefreshair Posted May 20, 2010 Author Share Posted May 20, 2010 I followed through and spoke to him about it as I had planned.. He admitted that he had been hinting and thinking "what if" about us getting back together. We talked a bit about how neither one of us wants to risk our friendship so that anything will have to be approached with caution. We left it at that. Thought it'd be good for us to have an opportunity to walk away and think about what each other said. I'm seeing him this weekend so we'll see what happens! Thanks again for your input guys/gals Link to post Share on other sites
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