D-Lish Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Which means we still have 20 seconds to rip him a bit before he signs the check. This guy needs to be ripped more than a bit. Maybe it would be more appropriate to just mouth the word "refill" across the bar all night, then point to our glass and then give him the thumbs up:laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 A few things but there is probably no point: You treat me like garbage dont contact me again If i am not welcome in your house , you are not welcome in mine Honestly Mishy- no need to point out the obvious to him. He knows he is treating you like garbage. You need to cut off all contact with him- don't accept these scraps anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted May 19, 2010 Author Share Posted May 19, 2010 thanks dlish and jillybean lol at the bar thing its so hard for me to stay silent, it really is Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 thanks dlish and jillybean lol at the bar thing its so hard for me to stay silent, it really is Why though? He treats you badly, and he doesn't show you any respect whatsoever. This guy is a colossal douche-bag. He doesn't deserve your attention. Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Mish - I SO know it's tempting to tell him off, or feel like you had the last word, but I PROMISE you - your silence will be louder and stronger than anything you could say to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Maybe it would be more appropriate to just mouth the word "refill" across the bar all night, then point to our glass and then give him the thumbs up:laugh: And flash a little nip so we are assured a top shelf pour. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted May 19, 2010 Author Share Posted May 19, 2010 Mish - I SO know it's tempting to tell him off, or feel like you had the last word, but I PROMISE you - your silence will be louder and stronger than anything you could say to him. Its killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEVER not reply, this very out of character for me to do this to him I swear he wil just think they message went astray- thats why it bugs me Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted May 19, 2010 Author Share Posted May 19, 2010 And flash a little nip so we are assured a top shelf pour. he'd go for a feel for a double shot one shot per feel Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted May 19, 2010 Author Share Posted May 19, 2010 Why though? He treats you badly, and he doesn't show you any respect whatsoever. This guy is a colossal douche-bag. He doesn't deserve your attention. thats what annoys me- in the text message he was asking ME to respect HIM!!! Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 thats what annoys me- in the text message he was asking ME to respect HIM!!! The way he treats you is so wrong. At some point you have to accept responsibility for accepting crumbs from him and put a stop to it. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 So my backstory is here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t230587/ I have finally resolved this whole thing. And I am quite upset and so i am posting. But here is what happened. Ok so in the whole 2 and a half years i have known him i have NEVER been to his place. Not even his suburb. Yesterday though i visited my specialist dentist who had just moved to a suburb next to his. It was after work hours and i texted him that i was in the area blah blah. Anyway he said he was still at work and that it wasnt a good day to come over because he wont be there til later. I didnt get that message til later and went there anyway. He wasnt home . Anyway so today i texted asking when it would be a convenient time to visit, and this is the text i got: "No and now you have gone back to where you were before. There is no relationship. So either you respect what i want or i dont see you at all. Up to you" He thinks that i would still sleep with him after that??????? Not welcome at his house and he thinks thats OK??? IS this guy a %$#&&!! ? Mishy, why are you even speaking and texting this guy? Why drop in for a visit? Sadly, you know the score and have known for a long time. For some reason, you keep allowing him in your life, you invite it. IN all the threads you've written just about every single person has told you to end it and cut him out of your life forever. I don't understand why you can't let go of him. Anyway, he texted you that because he figures you're weak. You keep going back to him after he treats you like crap. He knows he can get away with it and yeah you might get pissed off, but eventually will go back. Me thinks it's all a big game, he's enjoying it too - seeing how far and how much you'll take from him. You owe him nothing. Never call or talk or text him again. Allow yourself to begin the real grieving process so you can let go and move on. If you continue to have him in your life, this drama will never go away. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 the text he sent- its just like he knows that i will still be ok with it all. its just so arrogant Because in the past, you have been OK with that. He expects that of you. Is not replying to the text standing up for myself? I mean what on earth can i say in response to that text? It means "I'm ignoring you." Silence is golden and can say 100 things without saying one word. Very powerful. Yeah he has, and i continued to see him And that's why he acts the way he does. Again, he expects this from you. so yeah i have no one to blame but myself Sorry to say this, but I do agree with you. BUT, today is another day and you have tons of us on LS to help you stay strong! Keep posting/venting here. Anytime you feel like texting him back, hop on LS, and pretend we're this MFA-hole and let it rip! its been about 4 or so hours since i got the text. Should i text anything back? Nope! Stay strong! It's good you've gone this long without texting. Do another 4 hours. Then another 4 hours, then another.. You can survive not replying to him. thanks dlish and jillybean lol at the bar thing its so hard for me to stay silent, it really is That's OK. It isn't supposed to be easy, but it can be done. Let your ego and pride take over and make yourself a promise that you will not text him. Ever. Its killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEVER not reply, this very out of character for me to do this to him I swear he wil just think they message went astray- thats why it bugs me Who flippin' cares what he thinks? Don't let it bug you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted May 19, 2010 Author Share Posted May 19, 2010 Mishy, why are you even speaking and texting this guy? Why drop in for a visit? Sadly, you know the score and have known for a long time. For some reason, you keep allowing him in your life, you invite it. IN all the threads you've written just about every single person has told you to end it and cut him out of your life forever. I don't understand why you can't let go of him. Anyway, he texted you that because he figures you're weak. You keep going back to him after he treats you like crap. He knows he can get away with it and yeah you might get pissed off, but eventually will go back. Me thinks it's all a big game, he's enjoying it too - seeing how far and how much you'll take from him. You owe him nothing. Never call or talk or text him again. Allow yourself to begin the real grieving process so you can let go and move on. If you continue to have him in your life, this drama will never go away. yeah he definately expects i wil go back. He just sounded so arrogant. It was like how he said " You have gone back to before" meaning i have been disobedient almost.... thats what its like, like im being disobedient Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted May 19, 2010 Author Share Posted May 19, 2010 Because in the past, you have been OK with that. He expects that of you. It means "I'm ignoring you." Silence is golden and can say 100 things without saying one word. Very powerful. And that's why he acts the way he does. Again, he expects this from you. Sorry to say this, but I do agree with you. BUT, today is another day and you have tons of us on LS to help you stay strong! Keep posting/venting here. Anytime you feel like texting him back, hop on LS, and pretend we're this MFA-hole and let it rip! Nope! Stay strong! It's good you've gone this long without texting. Do another 4 hours. Then another 4 hours, then another.. You can survive not replying to him. That's OK. It isn't supposed to be easy, but it can be done. Let your ego and pride take over and make yourself a promise that you will not text him. Ever. Who flippin' cares what he thinks? Don't let it bug you! I have gone 7 hours now. Silence. Honestly in the whole history of knowing him its taken me at the most 20 minutes to respond to a text or email. How fricken sad Tel me, who would send a text like that? who would speak to someone like that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted May 19, 2010 Author Share Posted May 19, 2010 Mish - I SO know it's tempting to tell him off, or feel like you had the last word, but I PROMISE you - your silence will be louder and stronger than anything you could say to him. he probably thinks he has just beaten me into submission Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted May 19, 2010 Author Share Posted May 19, 2010 that f#$@@!!g ********* i am so angry Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted May 19, 2010 Author Share Posted May 19, 2010 Just a bit of background In the two and a half years i have asked him to go to the movies maybe once, i think ive asked him to dinner, and maybe one other time suggested something else, and ofcourse he always said no. But anyway each time i have disobeyed the rules by asking to do something outside of teh bedroom he has totally freaked out on me and told me its over (by text) Then what would happen is i would beg and plead no no no (by text) over the next day or so. Then over the next few weeks gradually concede to his rules just as long as we still see each other Then a few weeks later he is back over at my place with no discussion of the drama- just business as usual THIS is the only time i have done nothing and not responded to him. We have had this "its over" thing happen , i would say maybe 7 or 8 times in teh 2 and a half years OFcourse today he didnt actually say it was over, but did threaten it by saying i should respect what he wants or he wont see me at all Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Why do you believe he is the only guy for you? You are weak and he knows just how to make you crawl back to him. He makes you feel you did something wrong so if you just act better he will love you. Look up emotional abuse on google. He is an abuser and you need to stop seeing him for your own emotional health. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted May 19, 2010 Author Share Posted May 19, 2010 Yes yamaha, it probably is. I have wondered that before. Even though physical abuse is completely different to this, i never used to understand why a woman stayed with a man if he hit her. Why wouldnt she just leave? I mean hitting a woman is bad right? He can't care for her very much if he does that. But now i completely understand why she feels like she cant leave. Because he has brought down her self esteem so much that she feels he must be hitting her because she is a bad person, or has done something wrong. So if she stays and obeys him and does teh right thing, then one day he will stop hitting her. Its been 24 hrs and i still havent replied to his text Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Mishy, do yourself a huge favor and lose this chump Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 Mishy, do yourself a huge favor and lose this chump indeed sda Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted May 20, 2010 Author Share Posted May 20, 2010 (edited) Mishy, do yourself a huge favor and lose this chump I have over the two andf a half years, had my self esteem chipped away so much, that i seriously think when i read things that people have been saying about him- ie "chump", "buffoon" "creep" etc etc etc- i think well IS he? or is it my fault? Thats how low i have got. I cant see anything clearly I am still struggling not to text anything back Edited May 20, 2010 by mishy Link to post Share on other sites
redmelon Posted May 20, 2010 Share Posted May 20, 2010 that's why you need SPACE from him, with no contact! Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted May 20, 2010 Share Posted May 20, 2010 I am still struggling not to text anything back Be good to yourself for once. Dont text him, dont call him, dont do anything with him. Go find someone who loves you just as you are. BTW, I'm sorry if I offended you with my previous comments. that was not my intention Link to post Share on other sites
Author mishy Posted May 20, 2010 Author Share Posted May 20, 2010 Be good to yourself for once. Dont text him, dont call him, dont do anything with him. Go find someone who loves you just as you are. BTW, I'm sorry if I offended you with my previous comments. that was not my intention Oh no you definately werent offending me. It HELPS me when people call him a chump Link to post Share on other sites
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