How Do You Know If You're Ugly?

[D-Lish]

Girl, you have nothing to worry about, I think you have a really pretty face!

[txsilkysmoothe]

You're not ugly.

 

You are pretty but you have to own it.

 

One suggestion, if you're long forehead bothers you, consider long sweeping bangs.

[JustJoe]

Wood, you know you're ugly, if you have to tie a pork chop around your neck, to get the dog to play with you.:D I hardly think you would fit that category. You are really young, to be this anxious about your appearance, and If I were you , I wouldn't worry too much about it. Someone will come along who will find you wildly attractive and you will forget these worries. :D

[TaraMaiden]

Without a photo we can't tell..... but it sounds to me as if you have a condition called Body dysmorphia.

[Ross PK]

Friends can lie and you might have a skewed perspective of yourself.

 

It largely depends on how symmetrical your face is and how closely you fit to the Golden Ratio.

 

http://goldennumber.net/face.htm

 

There are even online calculators you can use with an uploaded photo to see how closely your face matches up to it.

 

s4s, do you have any links to these so I can use my photo and see how closely my face matches up to the Golden Ratio?

[woodnorwegian]

I put up my avatar again, if you're interested to see what I look like. Day to day, I feel really ugly. I have moments where I think I'm normal looking, but those are rare. It's worse when I'm around people, especially if say, I'm in a public washroom, and I see the reflections of other women next to mine in the mirror-then I see how abnormal looking I am compared to them.

[Ross PK]

I put up my avatar again, if you're interested to see what I look like. Day to day, I feel really ugly. I have moments where I think I'm normal looking, but those are rare. It's worse when I'm around people, especially if say, I'm in a public washroom, and I see the reflections of other women next to mine in the mirror-then I see how abnormal looking I am compared to them.

 

You look really nice looking in your pic, and I'm not just saying that. I'd certainly date you.

[USMCHokie]

I agree with all the other posters in saying that you are far from ugly...so please get that idea out of your head...but I have to admit that I'm not a big fan of those glasses...

[Crusoe]

Absolutely beautiful.

[TaraMaiden]

Ok...anybody care to tell me why I'm not getting - or seeing - any pictures, either in WN's profile or on forum....?

 

As previously mentioned, have you considered that you have a condition called Body Dysmorphia, woodnorwegian...?

[FitChick]

A friend of mine was always very self-conscious about her nose. She looked like Klinger, the transvestite on M*A*S*H. If you never saw the show, think toucan. Everyone in her family had that nose. She found a good plastic surgeon and had it fixed. He didn't give her a tiny, turned up nose but one that suited her face and looked natural. Her personality totally changed. She became very confident and outgoing. The only negativity came from her family, who felt insulted. Do you think she cared? Why not get a consultation?

[Ross PK]

A friend of mine was always very self-conscious about her nose. She looked like Klinger, the transvestite on M*A*S*H. If you never saw the show, think toucan. Everyone in her family had that nose. She found a good plastic surgeon and had it fixed. He didn't give her a tiny, turned up nose but one that suited her face and looked natural. Her personality totally changed. She became very confident and outgoing. The only negativity came from her family, who felt insulted. Do you think she cared? Why not get a consultation?

 

Not that I'm against plastic surgery, but woodnorwegian really doesn't need a consultation.

[woodnorwegian]

Taramaiden, you can't see my photo because I keep taking it down. I'm really self concious, but maybe I'll have the guts to put it back up again.

[TaraMaiden]

Taramaiden, you can't see my photo because I keep taking it down. I'm really self concious, but maybe I'll have the guts to put it back up again.

Bless your poor little pained heart....

 

I really believe you need to talk to a professional counsellor about this.

The more you post, the more I'm convinced you need to see someone who can help you.

There hasn't been one single person on here (who HAS seen your pic) who has even remotely agreed with you.

Therefore, it would be safe to say, that your opinion is definitely in the minority.

Therefore, it would be safe to say that the only person who believes what you are saying - is you.

Therefore it would be safe to say you have a distorted view of yourself.

Please - help yourself.

See someone, and get some professional support.

[sally4sara]

s4s, do you have any links to these so I can use my photo and see how closely my face matches up to the Golden Ratio?

 

I found the formula for you. Most, you have to download software I don't know well enough to vouch for or software you have to pay for.

 

http://www.markwahl.com/index.php?id=22

 

But it can help people with a skewed perspective of themselves to see solid evidence that they don't look how they perceive.

[Ross PK]

I found the formula for you. Most, you have to download software I don't know well enough to vouch for or software you have to pay for.

 

http://www.markwahl.com/index.php?id=22

 

But it can help people with a skewed perspective of themselves to see solid evidence that they don't look how they perceive.

 

It says after doing the calculations you have to go to the next page, but I don't know where the next page is.

[FitChick]

Confidence is more important than physical beauty. Look at Sarah Jessica Parker.

[GrayClouds]

Confidence is more important than physical beauty. Look at Sarah Jessica Parker.

 

 

http://www.mascorazon.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/sarah-jessica-parker.jpg

[Belle Vie]

I'm with TaraMaiden....I haven't seen your picture, but judging by everyone else's comments, I'd say it's your inner thought process, not your outer appearance, that you have to worry about. You look just fine...you just won't accept that as truth.

 

I'm not sure if it would help to know that you're probably much more attractive than I am. I have frizzy red kinky-curly hair and freckles EVERYWHERE! I'm no classic beauty, for sure. But I get stopped in public by people who want to touch my hair, and I've been complimented on my freckles. I get these comments not because I'm beautiful (I'm decidedly NOT), but because I'm interesting-looking. It's taken me a long while to get here, but today I appreciate my looks as unique. I wouldn't be "me" without them. My life isn't perfect and I certainly wouldn't mind looking like Angelina Jolie, but you see, I'm NEVER going to look like Angelina Jolie. I'm going to look like ME, so I'd better appreciate and make the most of who I am.

 

Once you appreciate who you are, your looks will become part of that identity and you'll be in awe of yourself because there's no one else like you.

 

Like Tara said, try talking this out with someone who can help you accept and love yourself. Once you get there, you can maximize your most beautiful asset (for me, it's my hair; for you, it may be something else), and develop a style of your own that you can love.

[woodnorwegian]

Okay, I've put up my avatar again, but I'll probably take it down within the hour.

 

Saint Dragon, thanks for the kind words. It's horrible that people can be so cruel with their words, but then maybe we're just too sensitive.

 

I hide my insecurities really well on a daily basis, but in my head, I'm always insecure about my appearance. There are days when looking at the mirror is like watching a horror show. I hate having my photo taken, but when friends want to take photos like at social events, I have to go along with it, or else they'll think there's something wrong with me.

[woodnorwegian]

SaintDragon, have you always felt this way about yourself, or did it start at a certain age? For me, I was completely confident as a kid until I hit puberty. Since then, I've always felt abnormal and ugly.

 

What's strange is that when I admit to friends how I feel about my looks, they tell me I'm wrong, but then that only makes me feel worse, because I think they are only being kind by lying to me.

 

Maybe I do have body dysmorphia or something. This may sound ridiculous, but I think I have cankles, you know, where a person's ankles are the same thickness as their calves? I'm 105 lbs and 5'6 tall, but I still think that my calves are too wide.

 

I also don't know if my eating habits are normal. Is a banana and apple for breakfast, skipping lunch, and then a leg of chicken and rice for dinner not sufficient for a day? I think that's normal, but then I guess I'm not a great judge of things. Normally that's how much I eat in a day. I usually don't eat a lunch. I don't think I have an eating disorder, but I just watch what I eat.

 

I do obsess about food, even if I don't eat a lot. Like if I'm hungry before bed, I won't eat anything, but then fantasize about everything I'll eat for breakfast the next morning, but then I don't actually eat it the next morning.

 

I have seen a therapist before, and mentioned this, but she didn't think I was serious, as I wasn't a walking skeleton-just thin.

 

I've had experiences like you too, where people have said unkind things. When I was 16, my best friend said my nose was too big, and that my head was flat (whatever that means). Also, people are always telling me how much my sister and I look nothing alike, which hurts, because she's really, really pretty, and I take it to mean that I'm ugly.

 

I wish I could have a who gives an F what others think kind of attitude, but I guess I've gotten myself into a rut with this negative thinking.

Edited May 21, 2010 by woodnorwegian

[turnera]

How much therapy have you had in the last five years to discuss what YOU think about YOURSELF, regardless of the outside appearance your genes gave you?

 

My DD19 is model-beautiful. Signed by an agent. But because of personal circumstances, she sees none of that.

 

What you think about your 'beauty' has NOTHING to do with what people think of you while being with you.

 

It's going to take therapy for you to believe that.

[SilentWitness]

SaintDragon, have you always felt this way about yourself, or did it start at a certain age? For me, I was completely confident as a kid until I hit puberty. Since then, I've always felt abnormal and ugly.

 

What's strange is that when I admit to friends how I feel about my looks, they tell me I'm wrong, but then that only makes me feel worse, because I think they are only being kind by lying to me.

 

I saw your picture before you took it down last. You are wrong and they are not lying. I think you're cute, and I'm 19 so if anything I'm too young for you.

 

Maybe I do have body dysmorphia or something. This may sound ridiculous, but I think I have cankles, you know, where a person's ankles are the same thickness as their calves? I'm 105 lbs and 5'6 tall, but I still think that my calves are too wide.

 

It does sound ridiculous for someone of your body weight. But of course we can't outright deny it without seeing your feet.

 

 

I also don't know if my eating habits are normal. Is a banana and apple for breakfast, skipping lunch, and then a leg of chicken and rice for dinner not sufficient for a day? I think that's normal, but then I guess I'm not a great judge of things. Normally that's how much I eat in a day. I usually don't eat a lunch. I don't think I have an eating disorder, but I just watch what I eat.

 

Perhaps it would be best to ask a nutritionist. No one here is in a position to do more than speculate on your diet. I will say that I think you should be having three meals a day.

 

 

I do obsess about food, even if I don't eat a lot. Like if I'm hungry before bed, I won't eat anything, but then fantasize about everything I'll eat for breakfast the next morning, but then I don't actually eat it the next morning.

 

I have seen a therapist before, and mentioned this, but she didn't think I was serious, as I wasn't a walking skeleton-just thin.

 

Food fantasies are normal to an extent, especially when hungry, and aren't necessarily something to worry about. You might try simply not going to bed hungry. Your body is hardwired to turn your mind to thoughts of food when it feels like it is starving, a survival mechanism to help ensure we prioritize getting food when we need it.

 

 

Also, people are always telling me how much my sister and I look nothing alike, which hurts, because she's really, really pretty, and I take it to mean that I'm ugly.

 

Consider this: If people actually thought you were ugly, or even unattractive, then do you really think they would be cruel enough to rub your face in it? You are taking a statement of surprise, at the fact that two sisters don't resemble each other much, and assuming the worst. If I say a white woman is hot, that doesn't mean that I don't think black, asian, or latino women can be equally so, but upon comparing an example of each they will probably look less alike than you and your sister.

 

As for not being asked out much, well there are so many possible reasons. People have mentioned already that you may be sending out signals that indicate you aren't interested. Shyness might have something to do with it as well, as many guys tend to be attracted to women who are confident in themselves.

[FitChick]

http://www.mascorazon.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/sarah-jessica-parker.jpg

 

It hasn't stopped her from being very successful in a business that worships beauty and having a very cute husband (and dating cute guys before she was married). She's probably great in bed, too.

[GrayClouds]

I also don't know if my eating habits are normal. Is a banana and apple for breakfast, skipping lunch, and then a leg of chicken and rice for dinner not sufficient for a day? Certainly sounds healthy

 

Certainly sounds healthy It sounds fine, but are you not eating when you are hungry to avoid cankles or getting fat?

Your response is crazy SD she says she is consuming less then 500 calories a day!!!!! She needs need at least 3 times to 4 times that just to maintain weight.