How Do You Know If You're Ugly?

[GrayClouds]

It hasn't stopped her from being very successful in a business that worships beauty and having a very cute husband (and dating cute guys before she was married). She's probably great in bed, too.

 

She was, but the paper bag kept coming off her head.

 

 

 

.

Edited May 22, 2010 by GrayClouds

[TaraMaiden]

Maybe I do have body dysmorphia or something. This may sound ridiculous, but I think I have cankles, you know, where a person's ankles are the same thickness as their calves? I'm 105 lbs and 5'6 tall, but I still think that my calves are too wide.

 

If those are your legs in your avatar, then you definitely need to see a professional. Those legs are gorgeous, and beautifully proportioned.

 

I also don't know if my eating habits are normal. Is a banana and apple for breakfast, skipping lunch, and then a leg of chicken and rice for dinner not sufficient for a day? I think that's normal, but then I guess I'm not a great judge of things.

 

No no no....! This is not normal!! This is way too low a calorific intake!

Please - don't waste a moment. Contact your doctor and get a referral. As SaintDragon says, leave it too long and this could get way beyond anyone's ability to help you change your perception of yourself.

Damn, I'm annoyed I haven't managed to see your pic. I'm sure you're lovely. Your friends have told you and many here (who have seen it) have also told you.

You know, some of us (and I include myself) can be quite cutting, severe and up-front at times. And we call it as we see it. And we can be quite harsh too. So let me tell you - we're not trying to pacify you or just try to make you feel better by telling you that you look nice. If people here are telling you you're pretty - they mean it.

Normally that's how much I eat in a day. I usually don't eat a lunch. I don't think I have an eating disorder, but I just watch what I eat.

I think it's all connected. The media tell you that to be considered 'beautiful' you must therefore conform to a specific weight, size and image.

It's bull$hlt

 

I do obsess about food, even if I don't eat a lot. Like if I'm hungry before bed, I won't eat anything, but then fantasize about everything I'll eat for breakfast the next morning, but then I don't actually eat it the next morning.

It's a fact - going on diets is highly counter-productive because they do make you obsess about food. And nothing but food.

if you're hungry - you need to eat. A successful weight-loss diet will keep you nourished without hunger pangs. If you get hunger pangs, it's because you're hungry!

 

have seen a therapist before, and mentioned this, but she didn't think I was serious, as I wasn't a walking skeleton-just thin.

did you mention your opinion of yourself or your self-image? I bet you didn't. If you had, alarm bells might have rung....

 

(. . .) people are always telling me how much my sister and I look nothing alike, which hurts, because she's really, really pretty, and I take it to mean that I'm ugly.

no. As somebody has said - it was merely a comment in that you don't look alike, maybe.

You're hyper-sensitive....

I cannot urge you enough - please - see someone.....

[woodnorwegian]

Taramaiden, those are my legs. I know I have a problem. I know there isn't anything wrong with them, but then I keep thinking somethign looks "off" about them. Logically, I know what I see does not reflect reality, like everyone says I look like my mom, but she's gorgeous, and I don't see any resemblance at all. I don't know what to believe.

 

SaintDragon, I hope you get help, you sound like a great person.

 

Maybe I should go see someone about this. I'm starting to feel like a plate that's broken, with pieces that haven't been glued together right.

[SilentWitness]

You are correct, there is nothing wrong with your legs, they are quite nice actually Girl, you are hot, and I really wish there was a way for me to allow you to see that.

 

It does appear that some part of you was hoping for one of us to confirm that you are ugly, well that is not going to happen as you aren't in any fashion ugly, are the opposite in fact. Please take our advice in getting professional help on this issue.

[DadofTwoGirls]

I've seen a lot of legs in my time...those would rank in the top 10.

[woodnorwegian]

This is a great post. Honestly, when I read the cankles thread and looked at the avatar the first thing I thought was either you are wanting praise and attention or you possibly suffer from body dysmorphic disorder. From the sound of your posts I believe the latter. To even begin to question if you have cankles is ridiculous. And although I have not seen your pic I am sure you are not ugly... Ugly is such a strong word, and really, so few people are truly "ugly", imo.

 

You seem to be very distracted with how you physically look, more than the norm. I think you should see a doctor or psychiatrist. Being so concerned with your physical appearance is not healthy.

 

I can see why people would think I'm wanting praise or attention, LisaLee, but honestly I just feel worse, because I just get even more confused. Really, I want unbiased opinions, because whenever I hear my friends compliment me, I usually feel sick to my stomach, thinking they're not wanting to hurt my feelings. I even bought new shoes, thinking it would help with the whole cankles thing. It's hard to describe. It's not exactly the idea that I have cankles, but that there's something "off", and I can't pinpoint what it is about them that's wrong. At one moment, it'll look like my calves are too big, and my ankles are too wide, then the next, it'll be something more about the shape, like my calves are too short. Or my legs look too short and shapeless. It's always changing, but always constantly something "off" about them. Same thing goes for every other part of my body, but right now its the legs and ankles that I'm obsessing over. They just look wrong in some way. At work one day, sitting at my computer, I was completely preoccupied with staring at my ankles and calves. Even looking at my avatar now, I see that there's something "off" about it, and I don't know what it is. Sorry, this isn't making much sense.

 

I used to be a real perfectionist in high school, A Student, Student Council, Yearbook Photographer, etc, and recently I took a year off from my 2nd year of college because of a nervous breakdown and depression. I couldn't eat, and would sleep all day everyday. I didn't tell anyone, and just said I needed a break from school, without saying the real reasons why. I'm going back to school next fall, and am terrified about having another breakdown. This comes in cycles, like every couple years since I was a young teenager I would have major anxiety and depression, and then I would be okay, and then it would happen all over again.

 

Maybe I should just end it here, because I just feel really crappy right now, and I'll try to see some professional about this. Maybe even writing about it here is making me pay even more attention to my flaws than necessary. But at least now I know, I have a really distorted perception of myself.

Edited May 23, 2010 by woodnorwegian

[pandagirl]

I understand what the OP is going through. I used to be like this, especially in college. It was the reason I didn't have a "normal" love life, and didn't start dating until my early 20s. My self-esteem was so shot, that I didn't think anyone would want to date someone as ugly as myself. I did the same thing: walked around with my head down, stared at myself in the mirror examining my body/face, I even measured parts of my body. I remember one time I measures my thighs, and when I discovered one was half an inch larger than the other, I was convinced I was "deformed."

 

I can't really pinpoint the way I got over it though. I know a large part of it was caused by my depression. I do remember that at some point I got tired of myself. I got tired of feeling sorry for myself and feeling crappy and sad all the time. I knew that wasn't who I truly was. Was I going to let this ruin my life? No. So I decided to do something about it, but it was all in increments and it took a lot of hard work, from pushing myself, to challenging myself, to going to therapy. I would say, overall, it was a five year process of gradual improvement.

 

I can still have pangs of "omg, I am ugly," but they are few and far between. I don't think I'm beautiful, but I also don't think I'm ugly. Rather, I tend not to even think about the way I look. I'm more concerned now about *who* I am, rather than what I look like.

 

Do you have any other passions in life? A goal to reach? I would say to try to start focus on these things more.

[FitChick]

I believe the Lefkoe Method would quickly solve most of your problems. Google it. I've noticed they have a money back guarantee, too. Worked a treat for me and everyone I know who's tried it. Very focused.

Edited May 23, 2010 by FitChick

[marsle85]

Let me see your picture, girly.

[brokenblade]

I have serious issues regarding my facial appearance. I think I'm bizarre looking-I have a huge forehead, a huge nose and tiny lips, as well as a general broad face. I think I look like an alien, and most of the time, I wish I could go through life with a mask on. This is how paranoid I am: if I'm walking outside somewhere and cars are passing by, I'll look down because I don't want drivers to see my face. It's ridiculous, because drivers are paying attention to the road, and not some random person on the sidewalk, but I think to myself that they see me, and are thinking, "wow, that's a weird looking person."

 

I have had friends tell me there's nothing wrong with my appearance, but I think they are just being nice or are incredibly biased. I want to be realistic, and don't want to buy into thinking I'm attractive when I'm not. I don't want to delude myself, so once and for all, I'd like objective opinions, so I can put my paranoia to rest. If I'm ugly, then I want to accept it, if not, I know I have to work towards fixing my warped self-perception, if that's what it is.

 

So, please be honest about my looks, I can handle it.

 

 

You can't be ugly on the outside, you can only be ugly on the inside. It is not what you have, but what you do with what you have.

 

On top of that, different people are attracted to different things. There are people who find you attractive and there are people who barf from looking at Megan Fox.

 

One thing that is ugly is insecurity. People who are insecure tend to drive others away from them due to the drama they cause in other lives.

 

All I could say is, find out the best aspects of yourself and play to those aspects, bring them out. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.

 

I myself have looks that are inconsistent (my face). Some days my face is uglier than hell (due to water retention) other days I look not so bad.

 

Some people look at me with disgust, others look at me in admiration.