Cristoforo Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 But I'm already doubting myself and the situation. There is the girl who I've had the biggest crush on for the longest time, but I never had the courage to ask her out as I wasn't sure if she was interested, even though I picked up some subtle signs of interest. So today, I said 'screw it, I'm gonna be a man and just ask her out. Well I made some small talk with her first, I wasn't nervous at all and I was enjoying the conversation. Then I said 'I wanted to ask you something..would you like to go out for coffee or dinner sometime?" She said 'What?' because I guess she didn't hear me properly. I think my voice was too low, or I was nervous, there was a lady sitting close by, I sort of didn't want her to hear that I was asking a girl out. So I repeated the question a little louder, it seemed like she thought about it for a second, but then she said 'Sure'. She said that this week wasn't any good because she was busy with a lot of stuff, she said maybe this Friday or Sunday. I asked for her number and she joked at first and said no, but then wrote it down for me. I see her a couple times a week where she works so she said she'd see me around. Now, I'm sure anyone reading this would conclude that she is obviously interested because she said yes when I asked her out and she gave me her phone number. But for some reason I'm doubting myself and the whole situation, thinking she isn't really interested but she felt sorry for me or something, or she didn't want to say no because I see her all the time and it would be awkward. And also because she said she couldn't do it this week and only said 'maybe' for Friday and Sunday. So my big question is, and I'm sure some of you will think its a pretty dumb question, but would a girl say yes when you ask her out if she wasn't interested in you? I've been out of the game for so long, I'm finally over a breakup of a nearly 5 year relationship and I'm ready to start dating. I'm so rusty when it comes to women and this is the first girl that I've liked this much that I've actually got the courage to ask out!! Am I reading to far into this? I mean, would she say yes and give me her phone number if she wasn't interested? And how do I proceed? When should I call her? I'll see her tomorrow actually, so what should I say to her? I just feel so awkward and so unsure of myself, please, someone give me some assurance what happened earlier tonight was definitely a good thing. I hate doubting myself over things like this.
hats Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 (edited) Don't worry about whether or not she likes you, she may be unsure herself. But if she really didn't have any interest she would either say no or flake on the date. If the date(s) goes well she will like you, regardless of how she feels right this moment. As long as she's willing to meet up, your foot's in the door. That's your chance to win her over. I would start with something light and low pressure, just go out for coffee within the next few days, don't need to plan anything for afterward. The less interested she is the more space she'll need to feel comfortable, so sooner and shorter is better. Edited May 19, 2010 by hats
Cracker Jack Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Well, in some situations, the woman will say yes just to make the guy stop asking. However, in your situation, you weren't nagging her or anything, so I'm sure she really is interested in you. I don't think you should be doubting yourself at this stage; it really is too early for that. See how things go with her before you start feeling like she isn't into you. Call her when you feel the time is right. There's no certain day that'll be perfect. Also, tomorrow you could just talk to her about when she will actually have time for you, or any other piece of small talk you feel is necessary. But overall, you needn't doubt yourself over nothing. Good luck.
Green Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Yeah girls will say yes even though they don't like you... Don't worry about that though, a date is a date! Enjoy yourself, and DONT YOU DARE LET THE DATE END WITH OUT GIVING HER A KISS... DON"T ASK JUST GO IN FOR THE KISS
D-Lish Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Then I said 'I wanted to ask you something..would you like to go out for coffee or dinner sometime?" She said 'What?' because I guess she didn't hear me properly She heard you just fine. People answer with a question when they are trying to deflect having to answer. The fact that she went into a diatribe of being "busy" and using the word "maybe" is not a good sign.
PersonMan Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Watch out for the women who just take the date for free drinks. They exist. I know a girl who has been with about 8 guys in the last year. I like to call her a "cable and internet girl." - cause if you got cable and internet, shes in! Now if you got cable and internet AND a jacuzzi, thats another story. Can you imagine how difficult it must be to choose between two men, both with cable and internet, but one with more channels? Im guessing Netflix is the kicker.
Arasae Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 I hate to be the bearer of bad news, however.. I don't think she's into it. I'm one of those girls who doesn't know how to say "no" to a man in terms of a first date. Second and third, yeah, I avoid those, I can say no to those, but not the first. I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings if I'm not interested; so yeah, I'll give them a shot, but I do go on many first dates, already knowing that it's not going anywhere. I feel that everyone deserves a chance, though. Only once has it happened that a guy I wasn't too excited about ended up being pretty rad--so it does occur, but.. her hesitation, her asking "what", and her non-commital response as to the date all suggest she's not as interested as you are. =( Sorry!
Author Cristoforo Posted May 19, 2010 Author Posted May 19, 2010 (edited) I hate to be the bearer of bad news, however.. I don't think she's into it. I'm one of those girls who doesn't know how to say "no" to a man in terms of a first date. Second and third, yeah, I avoid those, I can say no to those, but not the first. I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings if I'm not interested; so yeah, I'll give them a shot, but I do go on many first dates, already knowing that it's not going anywhere. I feel that everyone deserves a chance, though. Only once has it happened that a guy I wasn't too excited about ended up being pretty rad--so it does occur, but.. her hesitation, her asking "what", and her non-commital response as to the date all suggest she's not as interested as you are. =( Sorry! Well maybe you and all the other girls should learn to say no. It's not fair to say yes to a guy you aren't interested, it only delays his feelings of rejection and hurt. What the hell is wrong with some women? If you aren't interested, the guy deserves to be let down immediately, his feelings hurt immediately. It's not very nice to make him think that he has a chance, only to hurt him later. Have some respect girls. I LOVE the part where you said "I don't want to hurt a guy's feelings if I'm not interested". Well what the hell do you think you are doing him when you deny him a second date? If you aren't interested him, you are still going to hurt him, even if you go on that first date with him. Have some courage and say NO to guys you aren't interested instead of leading them on. There is seriously something wrong with women like you. Edited May 19, 2010 by Cristoforo
phineas Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Usually, their eyes damn near popping out of their head when I ask them out is a sure sign their not interested. Because they didn't expect it. seriously. When a woman likes me & I talk to her it's like she is waiting for me to ask her out & she gives me her number & asks me to call her. Unless there is a specific event I know she'd be interested in I don't pick a day or time. I wait for the phone call to figure that out. That way when I call them & I get their VM & they don't call back I know they wern't interested.
Green Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Well maybe you and all the other girls should learn to say no. It's not fair to say yes to a guy you aren't interested, it only delays his feelings of rejection and hurt. What the hell is wrong with some women? If you aren't interested, the guy deserves to be let down immediately, his feelings hurt immediately. It's not very nice to make him think that he has a chance, only to hurt him later. Have some respect girls. I LOVE the part where you said "I don't want to hurt a guy's feelings if I'm not interested". Well what the hell do you think you are doing him when you deny him a second date? If you aren't interested him, you are still going to hurt him, even if you go on that first date with him. Have some courage and say NO to guys you aren't interested instead of leading them on. There is seriously something wrong with women like you. Thats just the way girls are... So you need to get a little tougher. My feelings couldn't get hurt by a rejection whether direct or passive. Just assume she is into you, if she actualy goes on the date make sure you KISS her... DONT ASK JUST KISS
phineas Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Well maybe you and all the other girls should learn to say no. It's not fair to say yes to a guy you aren't interested, it only delays his feelings of rejection and hurt. What the hell is wrong with some women? If you aren't interested, the guy deserves to be let down immediately, his feelings hurt immediately. It's not very nice to make him think that he has a chance, only to hurt him later. Have some respect girls. I LOVE the part where you said "I don't want to hurt a guy's feelings if I'm not interested". Well what the hell do you think you are doing him when you deny him a second date? If you aren't interested him, you are still going to hurt him, even if you go on that first date with him. Have some courage and say NO to guys you aren't interested instead of leading them on. There is seriously something wrong with women like you. The last time my feelings were hurt by a girl not wanting to go out with me was my first yr of college. To me, the women who think a guy will be just crushed because they rejected them need a reality break. No woman is that awsome as far as i'm concerned. I just feel like someone wasted my time & money when they let me take them out if they really wern't interested.
Green Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 The last time my feelings were hurt by a girl not wanting to go out with me was my first yr of college. To me, the women who think a guy will be just crushed because they rejected them need a reality break. No woman is that awsome as far as i'm concerned. I just feel like someone wasted my time & money when they let me take them out if they really wern't interested. I only ask myself if I'm interested.
Author Cristoforo Posted May 19, 2010 Author Posted May 19, 2010 I just feel like someone wasted my time & money when they let me take them out if they really wern't interested. Couldn't agree more. HEY GIRLS, if you aren't interested in a guy don't let him take you out!! ITS NOT FAIR!
Green Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Couldn't agree more. HEY GIRLS, if you aren't interested in a guy don't let him take you out!! ITS NOT FAIR! Life isn't fair. I really wouldn't mind a girl who isn't interested letting me take her out because it gives me a chance to get them interested. I also take girls out with out any expectations, I don't think of it as them owing me anything. If I have a good time taking them out nothing else matters.
phineas Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Life isn't fair. I really wouldn't mind a girl who isn't interested letting me take her out because it gives me a chance to get them interested. I also take girls out with out any expectations, I don't think of it as them owing me anything. If I have a good time taking them out nothing else matters. Personally, I'd rather spend time with someone who likes me for me & not because their bored & looking for free drinks & meal. I got better things I can do with my time.
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