Friend/escort

[Scottie]

I have a friend who is an escort.

 

Some of you may remember me asking for advice some months back (Oct or Nov last year)

 

Well several months on me and the girl have become good friends, we think a lot of each other and there is a real friendship between us.

 

We were going to meet up for lunch a few weeks ago but due to me having trouble at work I didn’t feel like it so I cancelled, she said “Thats fine hope to see you soon” This week I text her to see if she wanted to meet up for coffee or something and she didn’t reply to my text. On my phone I have a thing called delievery report which shows the message went to her phone. (Meaning it was turned on) I later called her having not had a reply to find her phone was turned off.

 

The following day her phone was still off. I called maybe three or four times but it was off all day.

I was a bit concerned because she was recently in hospital which a callapsed lung to I text her best friend (who I have never spoken too or met) to see if she knew of anything.

 

She text back almost straight away saying that our friend was fine, please don’t worry about her she is just having a break. She said she would ask her to get in touch with me.

 

Not long after I had a blank message from her so I text back saying it was blank but she didn’t reply. I waited a few hours and I called her again, it rang twice and she cut me off. I called again and her phone was turned off.

 

I thought just leave it so I went to bed, but then I was thinking about it and I started to cry. So I called her again and her phone was turned on. She didn’t answer but I had a message saying “I cant talk. Stop texting my friend. I am ok I just need a break”

 

I text back “If you need a break then please just tell me and I will leave you alone, I thought I’d done something wrong, I am sorry if I am too much but I don’t know where I am”

 

She text back “I understand, you really are a lovley man, sorry for making you worry about me, phone me in the morning, night x”

 

I was upset so I told her I thought it was best of we didn’t meet up anymore.

 

The next morning she text back saying “Its up to you if you don’t want to see me anymore but I will miss you x”

 

I text her back explaning that I didn’t meant it I was just upset, and could we talk at some point”

 

She said to phone her later, I called but she didn’t answer and hasn’t got in touch with me since.

 

I text her asking her to get in touch even if she didn’t want to talk and she hasn’t replyed yet.

 

Can anyone help me with what is happened her and what I should do as I am feeling very ill.

Edited May 21, 2010 by Scottie

[JamesM]

Who knows the mind of a woman? It is hard to say what she is thinking.

 

Could be she felt jilted by you a few weeks back and if I read correctly, you didn't try to contact her for a week or two. Perhaps she feels that she is too connected to you and doesn't want to be too close.

 

Could be she has deeper feelings for you than you know, or it could be that she thinks you have deeper feelings for her than she wants.

 

Could be she has a new man in her life and doesn't want you there to complicate things.

 

IMO as much as it may hurt, give her space and wait to see what happens.

[Scottie]

I am a bit drunk, i tried calling her a few times but no answer.

 

I don't have any feelings for her.

 

She told me she still loves her ex and she sometimes misses him but she won't take him back because he hurt her.

 

She told me she wasn't looking at dating for a year or so because of her young children so I don't think she has a new man in her life.

 

I did wonder if she had feelings for me and she was trying to let me know that maybe in a years time she might date me but I am not to sure about it.

Edited May 21, 2010 by Scottie

[Scottie]

I woke up this morning and turned my phone on only to recieve a message telling me she could speak now.

 

I called her, she seemed ok, she said she isn't taking a break so just told people that because she wanted to shut herself away this week because things were getting on top of her. She said if she was taking a break from working as an escort she would have told me and if I want to meet up next week then let her know.

 

I am guessing she is ok with me?

[sam light]

If you were paying for her time when you were "becoming friends" then you are more client than friend. Business people have lunch together now and then, but it is a friendly business relationship, not a love affair.

 

Many women, emotional creatures that they are, shutdown sometimes for a break. Most women don't want a too needy guy . Keep those two things in mind.

 

Sorry for this negative thought. She doesn't know how to cool you off and keep you as a paying customer at the same time. Thats why you get mixed signals.

 

You MUST protect your heart. Start seeing other women, escorts if need be. Eventually your number 1 girl will retire from her line of work, and you are way too attached to her.

[Yamaha]

I don't have any feelings for her.

 

 

You really don't believe this statement. You have VERY strong feelings/attachment to this woman. Realize it ( as she does ) and also know she does not feel the same ( her lack of communication ). Always look at someones behavior to you as an indication of their feelings.

[Scottie]

I don't have feelings for her.

 

Can't a man care for a woman without people saying that he is in love with her.

 

If she thinks that I do have some feelings for her then why allow me to get close to her, (we have got really close since the start of the year) and say that I am lovley man and to say that if I didn't see her anymore she would miss me. She has also talked to her friend about me who said I sounded lovley.

 

If I wanted to cool it with someone who I thought had feelings for me and I didn't feel the same about them I wouldn't tell them they were lovley and say I would miss them because that would give them the wrong impression wouldn't it?

[Scottie]

Just to update you all.

 

 

After I spoke to her on the phone I met up with her the following week.

 

She told me that a relative had been ill and she had been taking people to and from hospital to see her. But she didn't mention this on the phone.

 

She said she forgot to text me back when I asked if she wanted to meet for coffee, she said she never hung up on me, her battery died as I called her.

 

I think she's lying to me for some reason.

 

When we were talking the way she was looking at me made me think maybe she does have deeper feelings for me than she is letting on, it was something in her eyes when she looked at me. But I could be wrong.

 

I want to come out and just ask her but she told me a while back that she wants to wait a year or so until she starts dating again because of her young children.

Edited June 1, 2010 by Scottie

[Scottie]

Help!

 

I am a total idiot!

 

I lent this girl some money to pay off some debt collectors.

 

Before anyone asks she didn't ask to borrow. I offered to help her out because she was really upset and she has had a tough time of late. She has been suffering from depression as I am. At first she didn't want to take it because she didn't want to put that on our friendship. She took my offer and she seemed really greatfull. She thanked me about six or seven times!

 

She had a big job coming up in which she would have been paid a lot of money so she would have been able to pay me back.

 

However when I text her to see how things went she replied "Not Good, I'll phone you in the morning"

 

I asked to know straight away and she replied "Can't talk I am at hospital because my sister had her baby" I knew her sister was pregnaunt.

 

She said she would phone me the next day. However she didn't. It was the weekend and her family don't know of me because they don't know shes an escort so I left it to monday morning. I called but no answer. A few hours later I text her. She text back straight away "I'll phone you later, I've been with my family, sorry"

 

However today I have heard nothing and I saw her driving in her car so I know she isn't with her family. I called and left a voice mail and still nothing from her.

 

I think I've been had, maybe I should go the police.

[LucreziaBorgia]

I wish I could say that this wasn't a common thing, but it is. It wouldn't hurt to talk to the police to find out what your options are.

[Scottie]

I never thought she would do this. She is a really nice girl and after a bit of doubt I could finally believe that she genuinely liked me. She is a really nice girl, I know that may be hard to believe because she works as an escort but its true.

 

I have called her a few times but I keep getting answephone, maybe she is at hospital with her family?

[whichwayisup]

How much did you lend her? Does she understand it's a loan or did she think you were GIVING her the money?

 

Anyway, I think you need to leave her alone. Get your money back and walk away. For someone who doesn't have feelings for her, you certainly act like she's "it" in your life.

 

If you don't get your money back, walk away and never see or speak to her again. Or do what someone else suggested and call the cops. Again, it all depends on how much you lent her.

[whichwayisup]

I never thought she would do this. She is a really nice girl and after a bit of doubt I could finally believe that she genuinely liked me. She is a really nice girl, I know that may be hard to believe because she works as an escort but its true.

 

I have called her a few times but I keep getting answephone, maybe she is at hospital with her family?[/QUOTE]

 

Stop calling her.

 

You DON'T know her. You see her one way and that isn't who she is. Bottomline, she is treating you poorly and using you. She's not attached to you, hense her being able to not call you back and disappear from your life weeks on end. TRUE friends don't shut eachother out and lie to one another.

[Scottie]

£500 !

 

She agreed she would pay me back, I made it clear she had to pay me back and she said she would pay me back after the big job came in but it seems to have been cancelled, possibly because of her sister giving birth and her being the only member of the family who can drive.

 

I am thinking that I don't want to see her anymore but I don't really want that because our friendship seems so real and she said before she would miss me and would miss her too.

 

Maybe I do or don't have feelings for her, its to early for her so I can't tell her how I feel.

[xpaperxcutx]

What's wrong with you? You should have listened to all the advice on your last thread. You can't be friends with an escort.

 

No matter how nice you think she is, or how awesome a girl she is, she's still an escort. And if you met her because of " business", then that's all you are, BUSINESS.

 

For an escort, she doesn't have time to be friends with clients. Just like you can't be friends with your boss at your job. You can nice to clients but if you start lending ehr money than all she sees you as is a bank account.

[JamesM]

Number one rule when lending money to anyone...and I mean ANYONE....

 

Never lend more than you can afford to lose.

 

So, if you never get this money back, then figure it is a costly lesson that hopefully will teach you something about life, friends, and this woman.

 

My guess is that this isn't so much about the money as it is about how she is treating you.

 

Move on.

[Meaplus3]

Sorry for your situation here. But this woman is an escort. You loaned her money and now she has not paid you back? Honestly what did you expect from a person who has a profession like this? If I were you, I'd stear clear of this woman.. she sounds like trouble. Make an attempt or two to get your money back.. and then leave it alone. Just my two cent's.

 

Mea:)

[Green]

I doubt you will ever see your money again. Why don't you spend your time and energy on making a REAL friend.

[Gold Pile]

Any chance this is a troll thread. It seems so clear to everyone else that this was a mistake from day one?

 

Assuming it's real...

She knew you'd offer her money if she baited you long enough. She didn't need to ask. You will not get this money back, it's gone. live and learn.

 

She wants to keep you as a source of money (loans, paid meals, escort fees), but she doesn't want you too close. So you get mixed signals.

 

Forget her, forget your money, brush her off when she contacts you next. Be polite...you don't want an angry person you met in this way (embarassing) making a scene. Move on and don't look back.

[Scottie]

I left her a vicemail telling her that I had contacted the police. I haven't I just wanted to call her bluf.

 

I later had a text telling me that her sister has lost her baby and she is at the hospital with her mum. She said she couldn't believe that I had reported her to the police.

 

I asked why didn't tell me in the first place and she said she was to upset and she was in my town because her sister is at the hospital here. She also says she has my money and not to worry. But I have learned that the big job never happened because of her sister so I am not sure where the money has come from.

 

No this is not a troll thread I am a real person.

[Scottie]

I've completley ****ed things up thanks to the advice.

 

 

She said that she can't believe I went to the police, she dosen't want to talk to me, or see me and her friend will meet me to give me the money at the end of the week. She asked me to stop calling her personal number because this is for "Good friends"

 

I had to tell her how I really feel, yes I do love her so I

I left her a voicemail telling her that I love her and I haven't heard back yet. This may be because of her sister still being in hospital though.

 

I am not going to contact her I am going to give her some space.

[Left in a Lurch]

I really want to know what an escort considers a "big job".

[Scottie]

A party with another girl.

 

I don't like it one bit by the way.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

You can't be friends with an escort.

 

 

 

Yeah, if you were in her homeroom in high school, you can no longer be friends. If you've known her family for 1000 years, you can no longer be friends.

 

If she was a bridesmaid at your first wedding, or your third wedding, you can no longer be friends.

 

If you have a sister her age and have known her since they were seven years old, you can no longer be friends.

 

 

That's really sage advice.

 

Maybe escorts shouldn't be allowed to know anyone. Does that sound more appropriate?

[Scottie]

Maybe escorts shouldn't be allowed to know anyone. Does that sound more appropriate?

 

You've got a point.