I need some advice

[kimberlee]

hi, well I have been dating a guy for a few months now, and I care about him. I was at his house with one of his friends on Friday night, and a girl called and asked to come over. He said yes. I was a little nervous and worried about another girl coming over to his house. But I didn't want to act jealous. We all ended up hanging out together. Throughout the night, I found out that the girl and the guy that I am dating used to date each other. I was really uncomfortable. And I guess she told one of their friends that she couldn't stand to see him with another girl. The guy I am dating says that he can't stand the girl, but he let her come over to his house and hang out. I guess that the two of them only went out two times with each other. But I am still worried about her and him hooking up. I am not sure what to do. Should I be worried about his ex being around, or should I just see what happens. I really care about him, and I don't want to lose him. If anyone has some advice I would appreciate it.

[nina]

you should talk to him about how you feel. If its ment to be then he will understand adn he will make you feel better about the girl. So jsut talk to the kid

[LoveDude]

I think you may be over-reacting a little bit.

 

If they only went out twice, I don't think you can really justify calling her an "ex". From a guy's perspective, I think (being brutally honest here) if they weren't intimate with each other, you'd be hard pressed to have anything to worry about. I have been in a situation similar to this. After a couple of dates, I found the woman to be quite vapid and annoying. But she was still fun to have around every once and a while. Now I didn't let her come over when another girlfriend was around, but I've gone out bar-hopping with them together.

 

He's with you, not her. If he wanted to be with her, he would have done it before he met you wouldn't of he? I mean, why go for it now and ruin what he has when he probably could have "hooked up" before, no?

 

She may still have feelings for him, but I doubt you have a lot to worry about.

 

Another way to think of it is that if he does find her somewhat annoying, by having her come over when his girlfriend is around maybe he's hoping that she'll leave you two alone as he's obviously moved on.

 

Hopefully this helps!

 

LoveDude.

hi, well I have been dating a guy for a few months now, and I care about him. I was at his house with one of his friends on Friday night, and a girl called and asked to come over. He said yes. I was a little nervous and worried about another girl coming over to his house. But I didn't want to act jealous. We all ended up hanging out together. Throughout the night, I found out that the girl and the guy that I am dating used to date each other. I was really uncomfortable. And I guess she told one of their friends that she couldn't stand to see him with another girl. The guy I am dating says that he can't stand the girl, but he let her come over to his house and hang out. I guess that the two of them only went out two times with each other. But I am still worried about her and him hooking up. I am not sure what to do. Should I be worried about his ex being around, or should I just see what happens. I really care about him, and I don't want to lose him. If anyone has some advice I would appreciate it.

[kimberlee]

I think that you are right, and I really haven't anything to fear since he thinks she is annoying, and they only did go out with each other twice. Thank you again, for your help.

[Rachel]

If he is saying that he can't stand her and he doesn't like her one bit, even as a friend, then I would question that. He said "ok" to her coming over and hanging out with him. If he enjoys her company (which it seems he does)and he's denying even a friendship, then something is wrong. He either likes her as a friend, doesn't like her at all, or is attracted to her and he feels like he has to lie....because he has a girlfriend!

 

Is she nice, do you think you can trust her. My advice is to be totally sweet to her so she knows how great you are for him.

 

Use your instincts! They are always right and love tends to cloud that part of our judgement making us believe what we want to believe.

 

best wishes

hi, well I have been dating a guy for a few months now, and I care about him. I was at his house with one of his friends on Friday night, and a girl called and asked to come over. He said yes. I was a little nervous and worried about another girl coming over to his house. But I didn't want to act jealous. We all ended up hanging out together. Throughout the night, I found out that the girl and the guy that I am dating used to date each other. I was really uncomfortable. And I guess she told one of their friends that she couldn't stand to see him with another girl. The guy I am dating says that he can't stand the girl, but he let her come over to his house and hang out. I guess that the two of them only went out two times with each other. But I am still worried about her and him hooking up. I am not sure what to do. Should I be worried about his ex being around, or should I just see what happens. I really care about him, and I don't want to lose him. If anyone has some advice I would appreciate it.

[kimberlee]

Well I have met her twice. I think she is somewhat nice, she can be annoying though when she has been drinking. I was extremely nice to her, and I didn't act mad or jealous at all to anyone there. When I was outside getting ready to leave, he kept saying "she is so annoying, don't you think?" and all that I would say is "I really don't know her very well" I do like him, and he didn't act any different when we were around her than we do any other time. I just have a hard time trusting him because right before we started dating, he went out with some other girl that we both know and fooled around with her while they were drunk. But nothing else happened between them since that night. I can't really be upset about that because we were just making plans to go out. I am just worried that sometime when I am not around he and his "ex" will hook up. I hope that I have made some kind of sense.