Stabbed in the heart

[jj33]

Thanks 2sunny youve been a total sweetheart and I really appreciate it. I feel like shouting it from the rooftops.

[Hazyhead]

Yes you are! Now, think of how wonderful life's going to be without being bothered by his cr@p. JJ, he does not deserve your attention or time. I'm pleased, in a way, that be showed you this side, if it frees you like this. I can't write much as I'm on my phone but just wanted to say that I'm happy for you xxx

 

Owl you are back! I feel like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz! Thanks for your kind words my friend and WF and Hazy and everyone else.

 

I feel a freedom I have not felt in a long long time. I just dropped a lot of dead weight that I have been carrying with me.

 

I cant control him I can only control me and I can choose not to be affected by the silly things he says and does. He acts like I did something terrible by seeking an apology but really well it doesnt matter anymore.

 

I am just so happy that I FINALLY saw him for what he is. His behavior was so so bad, that even I the queen of excuse making and rationalization could not say oh well I understand hes just... or make it my fault somehow.

 

And I am so happy. So very very happy. Really I should thank him for being such an azzclown. I am far too loyal in my affections. To my own detriment. It takes alot to shake me off. But once done I dont look back.

 

Im free Im free Im free!!!!

 

Thank y'all for your support on this

[jj33]

Thanks Hazy.

 

Funny enough some of my friends said why are you surprised he did xyz. Hes been an azzclown like this (my words not theirs) so many times before and you kept excusing him. Why this time?

 

 

I cant say why but I think SO many women on here do the same thing. Broken Lady comes to mind for one. We blind ourselves and make excuses for their behavior. Whether we are in the A or out it doesnt matter so long as we arent seeing them for what they are.

 

So long as we are questioning WHY they cant behave properly or WHY they cant do xyz we are excusing their behavior and accepting less than we should.

 

Why I didnt see it long ago, I dont know. Why I even kept up the A as long as I did, I dont know. I should have cut it off after the first evening when he was an azzclown.

 

This was a really big lesson for me. I hope I have really learned it this time so that I dont have to relearn it with the next man. I do deserve to be with someone who treats me well all the time.

 

The nightmare is over. Finally.