plain jane Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 I'm a woman and I've been in love with my best girl friend for over 2 years now. I'd never thought of making my feelings known to her, for mainly 2 reasons: 1) she's married with children 2) she seems homophobic She recently told me that she actually has been having romantic feelings for another girl friend of hers but she wouldn't pursue the feelings. I guess my best friend's reasons for saying that were because she's married & also that she wasn't comfortable with the fact that she has such feelings for girl (which was why she gave me the impression that she was homophobic). I told her that I thought she might have been confused by those platonic feelings of closeness we have for our best friends, with actual romantic feelings. The truth is that I was somewhat taken aback by her revelation, and I felt sad too, because she's capable of loving another woman, but that person is not me. I've never been in a relationship with a woman before but I'm sure that I'm in love with my best friend. She's a great friend to me, but it seems like she's never going to reciprocate the feelings I have for her. We've both not revisited this subject since that day, because she seemed uncomfortable talking about it again. I'm just feeling lost and I don't really know what I wish to achieve with my married best friend, but deep in my heart, it would be a lie to say that I don't wish to be with her.. or at least have her love me the same way.. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 She's married, with kids, has no intention of acting upon feelings she may or may not have for another woman, let alone you. Somehow you need to get over your desire for her, otherwise you will always feel hurt and lovesick. She loves you, but as a good friend, a bestfriend. That's it. Stop fantasizing and wishing she was yours as that's never going to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 You got to chases... You can just KISS HER and see what happens... Or you can stop torturing yourself and stop being her friend and move on Link to post Share on other sites
callalilly Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 Did you ever consider that it might be possible that the person she has those feelings for is YOU, and she was just testing the waters by telling you a story about "another friend?" Also,I don't consider someone "homophobic" if they're actually willing to go out on a limb and admit they have feelings like that. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 I sense a threesome coming. Just don't try to steal her away from her family. Link to post Share on other sites
Author plain jane Posted May 22, 2010 Author Share Posted May 22, 2010 I'm pretty sure she wasn't testing the water with me when she told me about her feelings. She was really close with that friend and knew her way before we met each other. She's quite affectionate with me but in a platonic way. I guess she just treats me as a best girl friend... Link to post Share on other sites
callalilly Posted May 22, 2010 Share Posted May 22, 2010 ok, well you obviously know the dynamics better, but it just seemed a strange coincidence that you have those type of feelings for her and she in turn has such feelings for someone else. It's not that common amongst heterosexual women to develop feelings like that. Maybe she's picked up a vibe from you and thought that might open the door to you confessing your feelings. But then again, it could be risky for you to take that chance if she doesn't return the feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
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