LikkleMissConfused Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 After having a five-year relationship which broke up a year ago, which became nasty, abusive and physical I met this guy who is kind caring generous and loving. But he wanted a proper relationship with commitment. I discovered I couldn’t give him that. It’s not anything more than that I just can’t, my own personal issues but letting him go is even harder. I have done it now, but whilst I was with him I was nasty to him at times because he suffocated me instead of allowing us to develop naturally. He was always pushing and then I would really go the other way and be horrible to him. Because this kept on happening he ended up cheating on me and I found out. We had big fights and then we talked and we realise that we both really care for each other I do for him and in a way I love him but after my last relationship I just can’t give myself completely like I did before and that’s all that guy wanted. He is going to be 28 and I’m 25. I have studied work in IT earn good money and am established, in that sense ready for commitment. He is going to be 28 and has nothing besides a fancy car. No get up and go and has gone from job to job through his life. That really stopped me from getting deeply involved even though I am emotionally involved. We have now decided to be friends although the girl he cheated on me with I think he is considering having a go with hr. We both have our issues and I need to be alone to deal with myself and focus on me. But when he told me that he doesn’t know about her, it just confirmed why I can’t get involved with this guy on a serious level. Because from us breaking up he is thinking of giving it a go with her purely because he doesn’t want to be alone. But I know he truly adores and wants be badly but yet he is willing to try with her. Not even give himself a chance to meet someone new. Jumping from one thing to another. I care and dn’t want to lose the friendship but I am backing off. I would be interested in other people views but also I have many issues as well and please take that into account. Link to post Share on other sites
kara Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Dearest, I know this will sound and is a cliche, but all I have to say is:MEN!!! They are just so not able to be alone... I am and have been disapponted in seeing this in some of my male friends and looking at my bf's past, he is such a sucker, he stayed with a woman he didn't even fancy for 7 year!!! I have a hard time trusting him and am considering breaking up with him but I need to hear that there are men out there who can survive on their own and even enjoy it. It's just I haven't met any! Has anyone??? Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 He DOES sound a little fickle and immature. Maybe you should dump the whole notion and find a 'grown up'. Sounds to me he just wants a woman to ride around in his fancy car with.....not a real relationship kinda guy. Not ALL guys are like that though. There are a great MANY men who are responsible, caring, mature and have more going for them than a car. They really DO spend some time looking for a quality woman who they are compatible with. Link to post Share on other sites
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