How to handle?

[Cora]

A few months ago I met a guy off of a dating site, we talked for awhile before meeting and then were seeing each other and talking pretty regularly. I wasn't so sure about him at first, but thought I would give him a chance. He has become distant a few times which I'm embarrassed to say had set me into clingy mode which made him even more distant. That is when I just told myself to stop and step back. It frightened me how much I let this guy get ahold of me. Long story short, he came around again and things were back to normal......but my feelings had suddenly changed.

 

I began to realize that we were just two different people and he did not want the same things I wanted. The romantic feelings I was starting to feel for him were suddenly fading and I began to realize I should have went with my first impression. I now only see him as as a friend at best. I hate to say that because he really is a great guy.....he just isn't my great guy. I knew it would be wrong to just lead him on and let him believe I still had feelings for him so I knew I had to tell him.

 

The first conversation we had about this did not go well. I told him how I didn't see us being compatible and that my feelings had changed. I told him how I thought we were too different and how we wanted different things. I told him if he wanted we could still be friends though and talk every now and then. Because like I said, he isn't a horrible person.....we just don't mix in the romantic sense. He went on to say how he did not know where I got this incompatibility stuff from because he thought we were very compatible and got along great! We talked again the next day and he asked me again about what I felt/wanted. I told him again I think we would be better as just friends. He agreed this time and we both agreed we would just talk every now and then.

 

Well, ever since then he has been texting/calling everyday. More than he had been when we were dating. He has been asking me to come by his place so he could see me or so we could just talk. I told him I just wanted to be by myself right now. He continues to text/call. The last few times I have just ignored his calls/texts. I feel bad though, but I don't know what else to do? Should I have another talk with him? I don't know how else to tell him I feel nothing for him romantically without hurting his feelings. Should I continue to ignore his contact?

 

This is the first time I have ever been in this situation. I was always on the other end....where the guy tells me this just isn't working out. So I'm totally clueless here? I want to do whatever I need to without hurting him or leading him on. I have played things over in my mind again and again trying to find any little spark I could that was still there.....but there is nothing. No matter how hard I try I can't feel anything for him. I wish I could.

 

This whole situation has left me just wanting to be single. It was my fault really in the beginning......falling too fast for him....or at least thinking I was falling for him. Being too naive and mistaking my feelings for something real. I see now it was only lust. I am embarrassed by it and the way I acted.

 

I would appreciate any advice. Thank you