BetterOffWithoutYou Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 so i am trying to get over my ex, but still heartbroken. bc of my mixed emotions i know i am not ready to date and honestly i want to be single and work on me for once instead of focusing on a relationship. i still would like to be able to have sex from time to time, so i called up a friend of mine who i almost started something with before i met my ex. my friend and i have slept together a few times in the past, but never discussed what it meant. we would mostly just hang out, with a lot of sexual tension and flirting, but nothing happened except for those few times. like i said, then i met my ex and we started our relationship and my friend and i talked very sparingly as he got back with his ex eventually. now we are both single, and discussed being friends with benefits after we slept together. he agreed he is getting over his ex too and not ready to move on but wants sex sometimes as well. so it sounded perfect. but he said he doesn't want us hanging out to mean we will have sex every time. so we haven't done anything the last three times we hung out. he always alludes to it when he txts me, asks me for dirty pics, calls me sexy and hot, and calls often to chat but when we hang out he always has a reason to leave before we hook up? he said he felt it was too soon for me to have sex when we did, since he has been there for me and knows how heartbroken i still am. he is always so sweet to me when we hang out but leave before we get to the good part! i don't understand why he acts like we are going to before he comes over, but turns all mushy when we hang out???? any thoughts? i'm confused Link to post Share on other sites
Author BetterOffWithoutYou Posted May 24, 2010 Author Share Posted May 24, 2010 (edited) ?????????? Edited May 24, 2010 by BetterOffWithoutYou Link to post Share on other sites
ADF Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 wow. Now this is a bit unusual. It sounds like your friend has some serious feelings for you, and he is hesitant to go the FWB route because he'd rather have a real relationship with you. That is astonishing. 9 times out of 10, it is the man who wants FWB and the women who wants something more. Anyway, maybe you should talk to him about it. He is one in a million. He might be a keeper. Frankly, I holding to your "I'm not ready for a relationship" stance is a surrender to your fear. Don't miss out on what could be a great relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BetterOffWithoutYou Posted May 24, 2010 Author Share Posted May 24, 2010 he just randomly txt me a dirty pic... what is going on???? playing hard to get? any help???? Link to post Share on other sites
butterflysil Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 maybe this may not be the best person to do fwb. sounds like it could lead to someone having real feelings soon. you both are volunerable and could get messy quick. IMHO it is best with someone who you may never see yourself dating. unless you don't mind it leading to that. proceed with caution. Link to post Share on other sites
mitchell Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 This guy is a friend without the benefits. Tell him right away how you feel. Let him know you want to get f#'d and not just hang out together. If he can't oblige, then move on and find someone who will suit your needs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BetterOffWithoutYou Posted May 24, 2010 Author Share Posted May 24, 2010 I definitely wondered if this meant he did have feelings for me or if he didn't. a part of me thinks he does bc i don't know any guys who would turn down sex just to hang out bc they are worried it's too soon for you after your last relationship. he was extremely excited once he found out i was single. he sends me the craziest mixed signals! i know that he really enjoys sex with me too, which is why i don't understand how he can possibly turn it down. men confuse me!!! thanks for the input everyone! hopefully i will get this straightened out soon... Link to post Share on other sites
Author BetterOffWithoutYou Posted May 24, 2010 Author Share Posted May 24, 2010 so i txted him are we going to have some fun again? and his response: is that all you want from me when i come over? ????? i don't get it! he is always txt me sexual things, and asking for dirty pics from me! he hits on me too. this is more than confusing! i asked him to call me, guess i will have to have a real talk with him about everything. i wish there would be a guy out there on LS who could give me some advice on what is up with my friend!!! ahhhhh Link to post Share on other sites
mitchell Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 I think we are giving you advice. This guy is obviously not interested in being your F buddy. Either he has no interest in having sex with you or he wants more than just just a sexual relationship. Steer clear if he's not satisfying your needs and find someone willing to cooperate with your desires. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BetterOffWithoutYou Posted May 24, 2010 Author Share Posted May 24, 2010 thanks mitchell, you're right. i did talk to him on the phone a little while ago. he says he does want to be F buddies, and he is sorry for sending me mixed signals. he just doesn't want sex to be the only focus of us hanging out bc he enjoys spending time with me. i guess i will see if he means it, actions speak louder than words! Link to post Share on other sites
dazzle22 Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 He gave you his message, you are just not listening. He said, "is that ALL you want from me?" He really doesn't want to be just FWB, but he might do it in hopes it will lead to more. Hmmm, usual roles are reversed here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BetterOffWithoutYou Posted May 25, 2010 Author Share Posted May 25, 2010 it's really hard for me to believe he wants more! guess i would never have this type of problem with a guy, but he very sensitive. ugh i really don't think i could be in a relationship with him tho. guess time will tell. Link to post Share on other sites
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