Friends as Lovers

[suomipoika]

Alrighty then, i am new at this asking for help thing, spesh to strangers, lol but i am stuck in a pickle, or IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION!!!" i well just tell the story i guess from the get-go.....

 

i am a man that has been close friends with a girl sence freshmen year of highschool...ive dated others, been around the park a few times, but in the end, i only see her and i together in the end, or want it still so bad....BUT in school days, i NEVER made a move on it, nor even told anyone, it was kept quiet because i didnt want to lose her as my friend most of all!

 

For many years up to this on, we hung out in a reg matter, every now and again... it was strickly friends as well. we built such a bond with eachother, talking, sharing feelings, getting closer than we thought at the time, i believe.

 

I guess time has just caught up with us, within this year and parts of 09, we got closer, touchy feely, hugs that lasted forever. Then one day it all changed in late 09 early 2010. we were haging out once again, but this night felt different, i stayed the night on a reg bases, but we passed out on the same beg with eachother, cuddling, u could feel it within the room... the next morning, i couldnt take it anymore i came clean with her. i will always remember what i said to her, "____, I wouldnt be a good friend to u if i dont come clean, i have a huge crush on u." She looked deep into my eyes and smiled, then kinda giggled, her breathing got faster, i could see becasue we were outside and its farly cold out here in the Pacific North West. lol then she said very quietly," i have felt the same, last night i wasnt cuddling for nothing." then we both laughted... at this point in time time has stopped and there isnt a soul in the world sept us.... then we went back inside the house. i went home shortly after and we all met back up at the end of the day, around 9pm (21.00). things felt back to normal. about an hour later her and i went to the store its a good 10-15 drive. in the store we talked about relationships and how to tell what to look for...she was doing this on purpose i believe, knowing i am way to honest to give her BS answers, lol its always been that way with us, lol. anyways we got what we came for and started home. her and i started talking about her current relationship....ya forgot to mention...she is basicaly married....didnt sign the paper's yet, just had the wedding, i was there too in the pix. i told her the truth, i dont think he is the right guy for her! he is a jerk, controling, lazy, loves to live in filth, only lovey when wanting sex, a sex offender, and just plain wrong for her! all they do is fight when around eachother, its anoying....lol After i told her everything, there was a long silence. Before we drove into her drive-way, she slammed on the brakes, wripped her seat-bealt off, and reached out for me, then stared to kiss me, as i kissed her back, i could feel the fireworks between us... after the kiss, i went home. About a week later we again met up, but went out got some pizza, came back to my place, and watched a movie, well part of it....we did have sex....after we did so, she was on her way home, and i got a call from her, she was crying hard. her bf/husban found out we were hanging sex. she got home and i really dont know too much on what happened, i fear he beat her, cuz i didnt see her for many many months after that day.

 

she says she loves him, but attracted to me...very very very attracted to me.

 

is that all? just an attraction? or is there more to it? i dont feel it is just an attraction, i feel its more! she says she dosent want to turn her back on her 5 year relationship....

 

She says if he wasnt in the picture, i would be....

 

dont get me wrong i am attracted to her...very much so!

 

i could see myself with her all my life! as lover's or as friends! but with "him" around, that wont be easy....

 

whats going on? what should i do? what should i say?

 

i havent told her how much i love and care for her.

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~would it help if i did? or no and scare her away forever!!!

 

plus i might be moving away soon, i just now,while writting this, had an interview over the phone with a job that will cause me to move outta state.

 

im so lost and scared deep inside....

 

please help....thanks:o

[daisyallen]

Interesting no words for me .I never heard before here .Heart touching really . I have no more idea about it but I say you only all thing going well as soon as possible .

Edited May 29, 2010 by daisyallen

[ADF]

You say you are new at this, so I am going to offer some advice: make this post much shorter. Very few people are going to bother reading a post this long. Remember, we need a general idea of your situation We don't need a play-by-play, minute-by-minute account of everything that has passed between you. If you look at posts with zero responses, you'll see many of them are way too long.