Stag weekend in Estonia!!!!!!!!! What's wrong with men?? Should I dump my boyfriend?

[Cindy]

Hi

 

My boyfriend of almost two years has just told me that his friend's best man has organised a stag weekend in Estonia and that he is invited too!

 

I got very upset as we all know that stag weekends don't take place in Italy, Spain etc anymore as those girls are just simply not available.

 

Estonian girls obviously are very available and that must be the reason why Estonia has become so popular for stag weekends!

 

Anyway, my boyfriend loves me and said that there is no way he is interested in that stuff. He also said that he wasn't going to go if it upset me.

 

But I do not want to forbid things to him just truly hate the fact that he and his mates will spend a weekend with lots of booze, strip clubs and CHEAP girls!

 

Why are men so horrible!

 

Help!

[Errol]

Stag WEEKENDS!

 

I've only been to a stag party --- not entire weekends! And there was a stripper who did an exotic dance and we just drank and ragged on the groom.

 

Does he have to go for the whole weekend? Maybe he could go for a party and then come back to you. Or maybe you could go with him (not to the party itself) but after he's been to the party once he can come back to you and the two of you can have your own party.

 

Are the men and women expected to have sex during this? What about the groom - is it now customary for him to have sex with a stripper (or do they bring hookers now and not just strippers?) during his stag party? What about the other guys that are going -- do any of them have SO's? What are they doing? Maybe you could get together with them, and the bride-to-be and have an anti-stag party of your own!

[Cindy]

Thanks Errol!

 

Well I guess he cannot just go for the party as Estonia is a flight away. We live in Italy. I am Italian and my boyfriend is English going with all his English mates.

 

These things just don't happen in Italy!!

 

Whether these blokes are supposed to have sex on a stag?? I don't know!! I am asking you guys out there!

 

Especially the brits!

 

What are stag weekends all about?

[Layla]

Boy, I can imagine what you feel like!

 

It is quite a tough one! I would most probably give my boyfriend a hard time about it and wish he wouldn't go!

[Arabess]

I can understand a bachelor party.....a woman popping out of a cake....even a lap dance....BUT A WHOLE WEEKEND? It sounds like a 'farewell to freedom f*ck"....JEEZ!!!! I'm surprised the bride is going along with the whole idea...or is she planning some fling for her female entourage in France?

 

Even though....men who party in groups rarely get laid. They just make a lot of noise and act stupid.

 

I guess as a female I wouldn't want to tell him NOT to go....it would have to be his decision. OR...as Errol suggested....maybe after the first night....you could join him.

[Tony T]

"Estonian girls obviously are very available and that must be the reason why Estonia has become so popular for stag weekends!"

 

Not to change the subject, but exactly where is Estonia?

[Cindy]

Hi Tony

 

And thanks for all your replies!!

It's one of those former russian states:

 

Latvia, Estonia and Lituania!

 

Quite poor countries with lots of desperate Russina chicks willing to pack their stuff and move to Europe (ok the last bit was my interpretation ;-)

[moimeme]

http://www.europeetravel.com/maps/estonia-map.htm

 

http://www.europeetravel.com/maps/eastern-europe-map-large.htm

[Layla]

I'm from Switzerland and I have heard of English guys I work with who flew out there for a stag weekend! Seems to be very popular and I think it is part of Russia!

 

Don't know what girls are like though?

[deanduhamel]

Kick his butt, he's a piece of crap.

[Cindy]

Hi!

 

Are you serious??!! Sounds pretty harsh.

 

I mean we live together and he does anything for me telling me how much he loves me and that I make him very happy!

 

He really cares about me and hasn't done anything "bad" in two years time!

 

What are you other guys opinion.

 

Is he up to something?? Or has he just been invited to a stag in Russia to hang out with his best mates and have fun weekend?

 

Advice big time appreciated :-)

[Arabess]

I certainly WOULD NOT even entertain the idea of breaking up over it. It's JUST a weekend......

[Cindy]

HI Guys

 

Thanks a lot for your answers. I guess I'll leave the decision to my boyfriend and hope that he is not going and being aware of how worried it would leave me if he did!

 

Let's see what he'll do!

[moimeme]

Well, he can't read your mind. He said he wasn't going to go if it upset you. You are saying here that it will upset you - but you won't tell him so he won't go - but you want him to not go!!!!

 

No wonder the poor buggers say we are complicated!!!!!!

[deanduhamel]

Yes, It is harsh, but sombody had to say it for you. I honestly think you could talk it out with him..

[Errol]

Now I understand -- its rather like Boys Town in Mexico. My son went there unbeknownst to me. When we found out where he'd been Well, lets just say he couldn't walk straight for a week and NOT for the reasons he was hoping he wouldn't be able to walk straight!

 

It sounds like he may be forced to choose between his buddy and his girl. If he chooses his buddy - dump him. If he can't not go without feeling resentful then he doesn't care enough about you.

 

On the other hand -- do you trust him to NOT do anything with those 'girls' -- can he resist temptation?

[jenny]

hmmm; a very tough one!

 

first, you might want to tone down the 'girls of estonia are whorish' thing in front of him; you don't want to sound classist or shrill when you discuss it with him ~ it won't help your case.

 

maybe just tell him calmly once how you feel. explain that you don't want to step on his independence, and the decision is his, but it makes you uncomfortable and you would like him to know that. make sure you note that your trust him, and respect his desire to be with his buddies, but you feel nervous and insecure about it.

 

and you know what? that's all you can do. the decision is his from then on. don't hector, pester, or urge (or any other dr. suess-sounding verb ) the issue again.

 

if he decides to go, i would say plan something very very fun for yourself that weekend; say a wild night out with the girls - but behave yourself as you would want and expect him to behave himself.

[Cindy]

Thanks guys! As I already say: I guess, I trust him and haven't seen him flirting with another girl in the two years we have been together. He is always very honest and kind to me.

 

He said last night he wasn't going because he does^n't want to upset me. Then again, these people are his oldest friends and I am thinking about telling him that he should go.

 

Men are weird!

[mixy]

Well, it's a tough one.

 

My boyfriend went to a stag night the other day coming home at 8 in the morning! I wasn't happy about it and have been "interrogating" him ever since :-(

 

Why do guys have to be so extreme?

[Sparky]

If this is horrible, then that would make every man horrible. ALL MALES LIKE THIS, whether they are in a relationship or not.

 

I'm not saying that EVERY MAN is a pig, I'm just saying that it's in every man's hormones to be interested.

 

Unless you have had any relationship problems within the past 2 years (like cheating), there is no reason really to be upset. He said that he won't go if it upsets you. He sounds like a faithful, honest guy, and to be trusted. You must trust him to be going out with him this long.

 

There is nothing wrong in liking this stuff. No matter who you meet, whether they admit it or not, every guy finds this stuff interesting. Don't dump your boyfriend just because he likes porn!

 

I can understand why you'd be upset, I don't blame you. If it bothers you, don't let him go. But if I were in his shoes, I would ask you first. You should be lucky to have a boyfriend that's honest. There aren't many guys I know that are THAT honest!

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by Sparky

Don't dump your boyfriend just because he likes porn!

porn?

[Sparky]

I haven't been to any stags, but I hear from everyone that there ARE normally porno movies at stags. I'm not saying this is true, but I hear this stuff a lot.

[dyermaker]

oh, ok.