mintjulep Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 I recently had a fight with someone whose opinion I used to hold in the highest regard. I think he's a great person, and he's never been anything but nice to me before. We aren't really friends, but I've always considered him a "friend" as he lives next door and has, at times, been extremely close friends with my boyfriend and many of my other guy friends who live in the building next to mine. It all started with this public weblog I have on a popular blogging community. I also have another online diary where I post things that my family reads - as a way of keeping in touch with people who live 2000 miles away. Since my father frequents my diary, when I need a place to curse, be mean, or...emotionally vomit, as I've put it before. It was never public until one of my friends happened across it. I also never locked it because I can lock individual entries, thereby decreasing the chance of someone being offended by any of my posts. I am careful not to mention names, and my personal info is all incorrect. My friend knew it was me because he recognized a funny conversation that had happened between us, and he read between the lines. Sometimes I'm happy in this blog, but frequently, when I'm having terrible PMS, or when I'm angry with someone else, I'll use this blog in what can only be described as a Tourette's-like fashion. In one post, I attacked people who cannot form gramatically correct sentences, and actually took an anonymous example off of a forum where the poster had used no punctuation or capitalization. I asked if they were stupid, or merely lazy, but it was a rhetorical question, and I mentioned that I had been feeling pretty crappy the past few days, so I chalked it all up to anger with the world, and left it at that. Later that day, this person - not my friend, but my "friend" - left a comment, criticizing me and telling me that I shouldn't be so harsh. He mentioned that he did not want to sound "preachy" but in my opinion, by saying that, he only made the post sound even more preachy. I was angry with him for judging me, and hurt by the fact that, even though what he said was true, it was a comment based on something I wrote online - and not something I really felt in my heart. I know online blogs can get people into trouble when the blogger is too blunt and brutal, but to be perfectly honest, I'm very careful about not offending people I know or care about - especially with names and identifying details. The entry was not specific to anyone we know, and my friend has impecable grammar - he's practically a genius, and I can't even keep up with him during half of the conversations he has with my boyfriend. Because I respect his opinion, it hurt me so much to hear him say that I was, essentially, being a horrible person. I told him that what he said was hurtful, and brought up an incident in the past when he made mention that my blog was a b*tch-fest to a third party and I found out through the grapevine. He apologized for that, but my bringing it up again hurt his feelings. Because we've never been terribly close, I want to just forget about this. He has already made mention in his own online blog that some friendships or personal relationships are not worth saving. I'm fairly certain he was referring to me, or at least partially to me, but I wish we could cut the crap and speak face to face - only, I'm terrible with confrontation. Part of me is saying, "If he wants to cut me out of his life, fine." I feel that he was the offending party, originally, but I also know that by not ignoring his comment, that I may have said some things out of spite - and that's even worse than rationally telling him that his comment was abrasive, or just letting well enough alone. It hurts that he's no longer speaking to me, which makes me realize he's probably more of a friend than I originally thought, and it pains me that we may never speak again. I know there's no real need for us to, but he's close to a lot of people that I am close to. Should I try to make ammends, or just hope that in time, the whole thing will blow over? I want to apologize, but I wouldn't even know where to start... Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 Maybe you should consider sending him the context of this post. I think you stated your feelings beautifully. Link to post Share on other sites
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