When is the REBOUND over....

[bee-in-kewl]

Questions???

 

Is there a time frame on rebound relationships and when they end?

 

Here's the deal real quick. Dated a lovely girl, and we both digged each other lots. During this time I knew she had just come out of a rather long term relationship, so I was a bit worried about being the rebound guy. I was... sorta. She broke up with me in a rather convoluted sorta generic way. She said she was still getting over from her previous long-term relationship which had ended about a month before we met. She also did it in a letter. I took it in stride and moved on rather quickly, but I knew she was digging me still. I know her sister from work, and would get the little "Carey told me to tell you hi." I do promotional events and she showed up at one once... it was pretty awkward, but the little glances were there from both of us. We have never been rude or talked badly about each other to our friends. I'm just not into 2nd chances... no one ever gave me one.

 

Today we talked for the first time. Really had a conversation, we're both moving to new apts. Talked about her letter, she said she knew it was really stupid and lame. Talked about some other people we've dated and dumped. She told me to call her and gave me her new cell #. We first got together in September it ended at the end of October.... it's the end of January now.

 

??Two Questions??

 

1. Is she throwing me hints.... does she want to try dating again?

- I wouldn't mind. Some casual dating would sound nice, I just ..... (next question)

 

2. Since she's dated a few more people (including myself) since the BIG breakup has she fully rebounded?

- I just don't want to be rebound man again. I do kinda like her. We have fun together (not hang from the chandelier fun, more like giggle, laugh about life fun.)

 

 

Any good answers or suggestions are greatly appreciated.

[Arabess]

Maybe this isn't so much of a 'second chance' but a 'first chance' to try out a relationship without her feeling she is still carrying a lot of emotional baggage and attachment from her previous relationship.

 

I've met some great guys this year.....and I really didn't let the relationship 'blossom' or whatever the term would be....because I knew I was still in love with someone else. I didn't think it was fair to get someone invloved with me when I still had feelings elsewhere. I just wasn't ready. There was one guy I did like a lot....he is now stationed elsewhere. But if I ran into him again....I would LOVE to go out with him again.

 

Maybe she went thru a similar experience with you. I really respect a person more who doesn't jump from one relationship to the next. It means they don't use other people's hearts to make themselves feel better.

 

Give it chance....she may be a keeper.

[sarah12]

I have also been in a similar situation - on both sides. Some people I've dated in the past, things didn't work out, due to 'rebound' type situations, and they've come back either months or years later, unfortunately I was not interested though. They were both jerks at the time we dated. But yeah, some people come back and want another chance. I'm also not into 2nd chances, unless the problems that were previously there have been cleared up, and this usually takes a lot of time. There are special circumstances though, like the one you described.

 

I think she is interested in something. Just take it slow. Go out together somewhere and don't have any expectations. See her as another friend for now and see how things go. Just to warn you though, the fact that she has dated others since the break up may or may not be a good thing. She could still be rebounding off the same long term guy. It hasn't been that long since September-October.