Can I have my dream girl?

[smca07]

I'll try to keep this short.

 

I've been crazy about this one girl for years. I knew her in high school and, looking back now, there were times when I could have made something happen, but I was too insecure and shy back then. I know she liked me back then as I had heard things through mutual friends of her talking about me.

 

Cut to today, I'm 21 and just finished 2 years at a community college. I haven't had a girlfriend since way back in high school, and that wasn't very serious. After not seeing this girl for a couple years, she moved around a bit, she is recently back in town and single. I ran into her a couple times, but here's where it starts to get problematic. She had a fling with my best friend in high school who is a couple years older than me and still lives at home with no job and no car. I was with this friend when I saw her on both occasions and I can't help but feel that she thinks I am just like my friend. I have a job, a car and am much better looking and have come a along way since high school.

 

I am really uncomfortable with asking her to hang out while my friend is present as I am afraid he will want to come along. I've thought about talking to her online, but I also don't want to ask her out via the internet, it's very impersonal. I really don't want to let her get away again, I just can't seem to find a time to talk to her alone. Any advice or suggestions, don't hesitate to contribute. Thanks.

[JamesM]

First off....do what you want regarding her and forget your friend. Unless he has interest in her, he won't care. If he does have interest in her, then it only matters if he makes it a problem and if she cares for him.

 

Second, get over yourself. I say that kindly. Today's unemployed geek is tomorrow's billionaire. Just because YOU think you are better looking is no guarantee that SHE thinks you are. Having a job and a car is great, but preparing for the future is better. Some guys may be unemployed but in school. Some guys may be in a slump and in the future improve their life. In a few years, they will be better off than those who are working today. But again, a "dream girl" will love her man for who he is and not what he will become. My wife could have had a man who was much wealthier than I was, but she wanted me for who I was not what I had.

 

Third, your dream girl may not actually be the best girl for you. The image you have created in you mind may not be who she is in reality. I had a couple of dream girls at your age and would have been devastated if I knew that in the future neither would marry me. However, my real dream girl came along four years later. Now when I look at her and compare her to them, she is far far better. So let things be as they may...she may or may not be best for you.

 

If she liked you then and you never dated, then you asking her out now may be a good thing. She may still have that slight interest and may be willing to see how you are. Treat her as you would any other woman and ask her out...by phone or in person. Do NOT let your friend keep you from her.