"Better to marry a man who loves you more than you love him"

[FoxMulder]

I have seen alot of women saying this "Better to marry a man who loves you more than you love him" and similar things. But why do so many women think this way? Why is it better if the man loves the woman more? Isn't it best if both partners love each other equally much? To be honest, women who think this way seem rather selfish and not "fully" in love with their SO. I would never marry a woman if I knew she thought like that.

[Woggle]

It sure isn't better for the man who get's cheated on, gets no sex and eventually gets the I love you but I am not in love you bomb dropped on him.

[FoxMulder]

It sure isn't better for the man who get's cheated on, gets no sex and eventually gets the I love you but I am not in love you bomb dropped on him.

 

Exactly, thats why I think women who say that are VERY selfish. They only think about their own good and not about the man.

[bayouboi]

I would never marry a woman if I knew she thought like that.

 

So how do you plan on finding out if she thinks like that? They usually don't tell you that until they're heading out the door.

[xpaperxcutx]

Women who think like this have had their fair share of having been jilted by the other sex. I have been known to say some harsh things of my ex to my girlfriends but I have never thought about this phrase, although I've seen it enough on forums.

[Woggle]

So how do you plan on finding out if she thinks like that? They usually don't tell you that until they're heading out the door.

 

They don't but make sure you have a good solid prenup and make sure she signs it without hesitation. The women who are the most gung ho about vows and how you shouldn't prepare for divorce are also the quickest to walk.

[bayouboi]

They don't but make sure you have a good solid prenup and make sure she signs it without hesitation. The women who are the most gung ho about vows and how you shouldn't prepare for divorce are also the quickest to walk.

 

Now while I agree with you completely, that can's been opened up on this forum before & it was pretty much a 50% split down the gender lines on the prenup with a lot of animosity from both sides.

[Woggle]

Now while I agree with you completely, that can's been opened up on this forum before & it was pretty much a 50% split down the gender lines on the prenup with a lot of animosity from both sides.

 

It does open a can of worms but a woman objecting to a man protecting himself is a huge sign not to marry her.

[GoodOnPaper]

Vaguely recalling a thread or two about this, I think the "Better to marry a man who loves you more than you love him" line of thinking was supposed to apply more to likelihood of cheating rather than likelihood of walking. The base assumption would be that if one spouse is less in love than the other, a less-in-love wife has more line-crossing resistance to cheating than a less-in-love husband. At least that is how I understood it -- maybe dubious reasoning . . .

[phineas]

I can't imagine i'd be re-marrying anytime soon after my divorce.

Mostly because the dollar menu at mcdonalds is all I can afford when it comes to dateing & it isn't gonna impress the chicks much. LOL!

 

But if I do re-marry there will be a pre-nup .

[SoccerPlaya]

Yes, I suppose that is better than marrying a man who loves you less!

 

How about...

 

It's best to marry someone who loves you just as much as you love them.

[Star Gazer]

It's a line from Sex and the City, and was discussed in my thread here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t144522/

 

I'm reading it now to see if the thoughts here have changed (including my own).

Edited May 25, 2010 by Star Gazer

[Chicago_Guy]

I have seen alot of women saying this "Better to marry a man who loves you more than you love him" and similar things. But why do so many women think this way? Why is it better if the man loves the woman more? Isn't it best if both partners love each other equally much? To be honest, women who think this way seem rather selfish and not "fully" in love with their SO. I would never marry a woman if I knew she thought like that.

 

That is definitely not the type of woman I would not want to marry. That sounds like a woman who is settling for something less than she thinks she "deserves" and might ultimately be unhappy and leave her husband.

[legallyblonde289]

It does open a can of worms but a woman objecting to a man protecting himself is a huge sign not to marry her.

 

prenups are not exclusive to one gender. when i get married im sure as hell getting a prenup to protect myself...

[CLC2008]

prenups are not exclusive to one gender. when i get married im sure as hell getting a prenup to protect myself...

 

Me too. I have a big inheritance coming my way and investments .

[Ruby Slippers]

I think it's absolutely true. I know that in the relationships where the guy was slightly more into me than I was him, we were both much happier. Legitimate studies have backed up this fact, too.

 

What happens when the woman is a little more into the man is that she is perceived as nagging him in making the futile attempt to balance the distribution of energy. And that sucks for everybody.

[Mr White]

I would say that a woman that even attempts to compute who loves whom and how much is one big deal breaker to begin with.

Geez, thanks a lot for loving me "little a bit" :rolleyes:.

 

I think this whole delusion comes from the delusion of women thinking of themselves as "prizes" . Honey, your poo stinks too, so unless it turns all into roses and violets, no "more" love for you;).

[FoxMulder]

I think it's absolutely true. I know that in the relationships where the guy was slightly more into me than I was him, we were both much happier. Legitimate studies have backed up this fact, too.

 

What happens when the woman is a little more into the man is that she is perceived as nagging him in making the futile attempt to balance the distribution of energy. And that sucks for everybody.

 

As I see it, women who think that way are selfish and not "fully" in love with their husband/boyfriend. I would not want to be in a relationship with a woman who thinks it's better if the man loves more than the woman... much less marry one. Why would any guy want a woman who doesn't love him as much as he loves her?

 

I think the most healthy relationships are when both partners love each other equally much. I don't think it's good for a relationship if the love is loopsided in one direction.

[Woggle]

Women should get a prenup as well but they are less at risk. Men don't have a habit of walking for no good reason and the courts are biased against us so we have to have some protection just in case.

[Mimolicious]

IMO and experience, yes, I would rather be with a man that loves me more than I love him. That doesn't mean that I will take advantage of him, take his money, use him and abuse him. What it means is that I was in a marriage where it was the other way around. I loved him and gave him my all, he didn't.

 

At this point in life, I am jaded (without a doubt). I rather be with someone that is going to adore me and treat me like the Queen that I am. He will get my love as well I don't see how I can do it full throttled again.

That doesn't translate into cheating, etc...

 

My mother says that in a relationship there is a sender and a receiver. Pitcher-Catcher.

 

There is one person in this world (not my exH either) that our love for each other is at the same lever but that R seems like it is never going to be.

[Mimolicious]

Women should get a prenup as well but they are less at risk. Men don't have a habit of walking for no good reason and the courts are biased against us so we have to have some protection just in case.

 

 

I def would if I ever got married again. F that! Look at J-Lo when she married Chris Judd. She had to give him $17million.

[Ruby Slippers]

As I see it, women who think that way are selfish and not "fully" in love with their husband/boyfriend.

There is no such thing as "fully in love". Love is subjective, and if it's in any way quantifiable, it's quantifiable by the proportion of energy that someone puts into the relationship. In my experience, relationships work much better when the man is putting in slightly more love/energy than the woman. Not tons more -- a little bit more.

 

Think about the women you are attracted to. Are you more attracted to a woman who inspires you to want to hang the moon for her, or one who does all the work and lets you be lazy?

 

I would not want to be in a relationship with a woman who thinks it's better if the man loves more than the woman... much less marry one. Why would any guy want a woman who doesn't love him as much as he loves her?

This is another case of men's actions and words not lining up. Most men, when presented with a woman who busts her butt to love him full throttle, don't take well to it. I say this as a passionate individual who in the past has given my all to relationships. Men have responded much better across the board when my actions indicated that I wasn't as invested, that I could take him or leave him. When women go all in and love with all their heart, men often get "scared", or bored, or begin to take it for granted.

Edited May 26, 2010 by Ruby Slippers

[Trialbyfire]

I have seen alot of women saying this "Better to marry a man who loves you more than you love him" and similar things. But why do so many women think this way? Why is it better if the man loves the woman more? Isn't it best if both partners love each other equally much? To be honest, women who think this way seem rather selfish and not "fully" in love with their SO. I would never marry a woman if I knew she thought like that.

Only insecure women believe that nonsense.

[sally4sara]

It's a line from Sex and the City, and was discussed in my thread here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t144522/

 

I'm reading it now to see if the thoughts here have changed (including my own).

 

Ahhh, that makes this OP's statement make a bit more sense - he gets it from a TV show. He has already admitted he HAS NO EXPERIENCE with women at all to say what they do or don't do let alone what is common for women.

 

But what is the weirdest part of all this is that we have a bunch a guys on here that say awful things all the time about women as a whole and when taken to task, defend themselves with "I only fee this way because an evil, evil woman did it to me".

 

All while never thinking that a woman would have to have been real heartbroken to come to this conclusion. No, no men never hurt anyone. Women are just born to this mindset genetically.

 

And to you grown men on here - what the haynay? You have a high school boy here making claims about things he has no first hand experience to base it on and yet you're acting like he just brought down a some new chapter of the man bible from on high. He has never had a girlfriend to have experienced being mistreated or dumped callously. Shame on you for being such sheep.

[magda]

Well, I agree with half of that statement. I think one should marry the person who loves them the most. Like if you're choosing between two guys, both of which you could see yourself with, I think you're better off picking the one that loves you more. That doesn't mean you have to love them less than that. That part of the idea just seems inherently controlling and manipulative.