maxmuscle Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 *Talks to my sister and wants to visit her *Calls my mother to have conversations *emails me to say she misses me and she has no one else to talk to. *Talk to my mother for answers and get excited when my mother say he may contact you soon. *Call all of my friends in different states looking for me *Tell my mother she only wants to be friends with me (but why go through all these extremes?) *email me to say she wants to hear my voice *Have one of her girlfriends call my friend house looking for me My mother lives in Hawaii and my sister lives in Las Vegas. I have not contact her in over a month. Ladies and Gentleman, please tell me what y'all think........ Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted January 26, 2004 Share Posted January 26, 2004 She's clearly still interested in you. Whether this is "love" or "infatuation", I cannot say. Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxmuscle Posted January 26, 2004 Author Share Posted January 26, 2004 "Whether this is "love" or "infatuation", I cannot say" Soulmate, You think she may be infactuated with the fact that I am not contacting her, so she wants to play cat and mouse? Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted January 27, 2004 Share Posted January 27, 2004 Starvation makes the heart grow hungrier...sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted January 27, 2004 Share Posted January 27, 2004 on a similiar chord... my ex girl broke up with me 2 months ago, we been together 4 months, i am extremely fond of her and realised this is the girl for me! 1 week after i tried to get back with her, was told its not going to happen, she reiterated the staying away rule then getting together in the future to meet up again, a few important things happened in which we met each other a few time in the next month 3 weeks after i attended her birthday party at the beginning of the year i never contacted her again, 2 1/2 weeks later i get a text message saying how she was sorry she hadn't been in touch etc. and told me some of her news and wants me to go out on Saturday night, i didn't reply by text for 4 days and the following day she phones me to say as i was so late in replying she had already made arrangements with her friend for Saturday night ( she could have invited me along as i know her friend who is a girl well so i figured she meant just the 2 of us ) so how about that we go bowling on Sunday afternoon instead so i met her for bowls, she was all smiles, we had a great time together, she really cheered me up, i'm sure most others in the bowling alley would have thought we were a couple as we sat very close, were very cheery and generally smiled a lot at each other at the end she told me she had a great time and said i really want to do this again very soon she gave me a big hug ( which i did then asked me to hug her properly which i then did ) and said she'd be in touch very soon i have asked a lot of people about this, both male and female and most of them think that this is definately not normal procedure in breaking up what do you guys think? see a lot of people told me to ignore her calls and texts etc. and I especially shouldn't meet her ( none of them ever met her by the way ) Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxmuscle Posted January 27, 2004 Author Share Posted January 27, 2004 BrainRightHeartWrong- Don't play games. If you wanf to go for it, then do it! Plan and simple. Sarah12- What do you think of my email? Can I get your input. You give good advice! Link to post Share on other sites
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted January 28, 2004 Share Posted January 28, 2004 your situation is crazy maxmuscle! however i feel that you are doing the best possible thing... just continue it and see how it goes and try and not expect anything! by the way i am not playing games, at least i think not, yes i do want to go for it but the best thing i can do is just be a seemingly passive friend... she gave me a "i don't think i could love you", "i don't thnk i would want to marry you" and "i am very idealistic" speech the night she split with me i probably and stupidly am going along with this, some girls i know say she is still interested while others ( mainly boys ) are saying ignore her and move on so i make a decision and still decide to meet her because I WANT TO! any advice i shall welcome one of my most closest friends with a great sense of wisdom ( as he has proved recently for himself ) simply said one time to me " tell her you are doing fine and WHATEVER YOU DO NO PRESSURE" he got his love back after a whole year after a somewhat similiar situation Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxmuscle Posted January 29, 2004 Author Share Posted January 29, 2004 BrainRightHeartWrong, Yeah, I am not expecting anything. I am just going to see how it goes. I am happy for your friend. One year is a long time. I guess love has no time frame. You should explore your ex's interest level. Study her behavior patterns......You will know if she wants you are not. Link to post Share on other sites
sarah12 Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 maxmuscle, I definitely think she still cares about you. I dont know if they are signs of love or not. But she definitely still wants to be in your life. I`m not sure what advice you were looking for...I dont remember your full story...sorry my keyboard is messed up..I cant use proper punctuation! and Im sorry it took me so long to reply..Ive been busy with school! Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 Guys.. you want your girl back? There is only one way to find out for sure without asking her, or waiting for a year. Find a girl that you have some things in common with & just go out with her. Have a good time, and don't feel guilty about it. Next time you talk to your ex, just blurb out you had a nice time w/ so & so the other night when you went out. She might at first just play it off, but if she truly wants to be with you she then knows its time to take action. Trust me on this, jealousy does alot of things to a person. It also shows them you aren't going to be waiting around forever playing their games. And if she doesn't recipoicate, least you know she wasn't serious when showed interested in you again, and you have another friend to go out with. Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 Funny, I just heard this from someone else. Go date..let her hear about it...it might have an effect on her. Of course in my case she'd never hear about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxmuscle Posted February 11, 2004 Author Share Posted February 11, 2004 Update: I have turned cold turkey towards my ex! I have not contacted her at all. She has ben calling my mother a zillion times in Hawaii and emailed my sister numerous times in Vegas. She has been emailing me. She has emailed me to say she loves me and misses me. I still love her but I want it to be right. I want her to grow in character and strength. She really wants me to respond to her emails. What is her motivation? Please, someone tell me how to handle this? Should I start contacting her? Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted February 11, 2004 Share Posted February 11, 2004 You should respond in kind. Don't be cold if you want her back. But take it slow and make it clear to her that you want to do it that way. Lucky bastard. Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxmuscle Posted February 11, 2004 Author Share Posted February 11, 2004 lost_in_chgo, You are so funny. You have me in tears! Classic! On the flip note, I think I will contact her by weeks end! My ex actually had a conversation with my mom in Hawaii and she told me everthing my ex said. The most important thing was that she misses me so much. Link to post Share on other sites
bicylejunk Posted February 11, 2004 Share Posted February 11, 2004 I disagree.......Although jealousy can work at times, It can also backfire drastically and give you less than stellar results. depends on the person. One girl could here that news, get jealous and want to snatch her ex back up before another new girl does. Another girl Could just see that her ex is dating and therefore use it as an excuse to try it out herself, not even thinking twice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxmuscle Posted February 11, 2004 Author Share Posted February 11, 2004 bicylejunk, I think you replied to the wrong thread because I do not understand what you are disagreeing with? Link to post Share on other sites
monkey Posted February 11, 2004 Share Posted February 11, 2004 Jealousy doesn't always work, my s/o says to me she doesn't love me & i must find someone else, but i know people speak with their current emotions, & her current emotions are remembering how i was when i was having my panic attacks & when i got home i gave her no space & emailed her a lot. Although putting it into practice may be different. She needs time to forget how i was, but wants to see me in the future, this seems odd because surely when she sees me, her memories will return. Link to post Share on other sites
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted February 11, 2004 Share Posted February 11, 2004 hmmm jmargel may be right, maybe that is the best thing to do but bicycle junk has a point too maybe that would be an excuse to try it herself BUT isn't she going to do that anyway? it depends on the girl and her feelings, it may just make her feel better showing her you have moved on or are trying to pretend to move on OR if she is playing games and still has feelings for you she may come back least you know she wasn't serious when showed interested in you again, and you have another friend to go out with. this is very true and relates to my situation at the minute... i'm still in love with my ex, i haven't bothered her although she still contacts me to go out socialising, go for drinks, go bowling etc. etc. she is ALWAYS the one who makes contact recently i met someone else, just went out casually with her, i won't be getting into a relationship with her while i carry so much emoyional baggage, i won't drag her along and hurt her as i hate it when i have it forced upon me! now i would be very reluctant to try and make my ex jealous because i don't think it would work at all, i just thnk it would make my ex feel better about hurting me so badly but maybe i'm wrong! Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted February 11, 2004 Share Posted February 11, 2004 I think anyone should do whatever they need to do in order to either get the closure they seek or to see if the relationship still has some foundation to build on. Either it's over and you have nothing to lose. Or it has a potential you may not be aware of. Then...there is that special time....when you have to assess.....if it's worth it to go there again. Love sucks....and is always a tough decision. Link to post Share on other sites
mandrews1119 Posted February 13, 2004 Share Posted February 13, 2004 Arabess, I was surprised but very impressed at your last post here. It is very full of great advice. A lot of times people (myself at the head of this list) get 'stuck' or confused as to whether or not to seek closure, etc., etc., but your advice certainly clears a lot of the air. Hope others get as much from it as I did. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Harleyone51 Posted February 13, 2004 Share Posted February 13, 2004 Maxmuscle- Reading your entries i realized there may be some things to ask yourself. It is really nice to be wanted, to be cherished and cared for. Especially when your Ex shows it so much. However, the question remains if you want to be with this person? If you do then she obviously is showing a ton of interest in yourself and dating again. If you were not in fact thinking of getting back together with her then the whole idea of her calling your family would get down right annoying. I guess overall you have to think about what you want, and then go from there. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey Posted February 13, 2004 Share Posted February 13, 2004 From Arabesses post, in my situation i'm stuck between a rock & a hard place, because i'm told NOW that it's over, due to her CURRENT feelings & she's had enough of how i WAS (panic attacks etc). On the other hand, because she is obviously talking with her CURRENT feelings, how does she Know how she will feel in the FUTURE with her FUTURE feelings, when i won't be how i WAS, ill be DIFFERENT, because of all the hard work i'm puttin into it this, because i don't want to lose her. So potential is there from both sides, that she is not aware of (good line) wether knowingly or unknowingly. She says "space" (space being between 2 things), more than 1 time "see you soon" has been mentioned (as in seeing, with eyes) so contact is needed for this & on the last day i saw her she said i will thank her in the future for this seperation! Now in my positive optimistic outlook, this tells me that seperation will be good for us, like a "refresh" button of our relationship. I'm very pedantic. (hate that word). Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted February 13, 2004 Share Posted February 13, 2004 more than 1 time "see you soon" has been mentioned (as in seeing, with eyes) so contact is needed for this & on the last day i saw her she said i will thank her in the future for this seperation! GIVE IT UP! See you soon is a colloquialism, it's said with a number of intentions, one of which could be "Get lost" Link to post Share on other sites
monkey Posted February 13, 2004 Share Posted February 13, 2004 Why so negative, goodbye in Hungarian (where she's from ) also means see you next week, specifically. Link to post Share on other sites
Author maxmuscle Posted February 13, 2004 Author Share Posted February 13, 2004 Harleyone51 , Thanks for the advice: I do love her! I just wanted her to grow in certain ways. Update: I emailed her and she pretty much poured her heart out to me. So I am taking baby, tiny steps to rekindle our love. She is very excited and looking forward to speaking with me over the phone on Sunday. Monkey- You have to learn how to relax. Your sistuation is not life or death; eventhough it seems like it. You are putting to much weight on your shoulders. We can't bail you out, only you can. You have given your ex too much amunition to use against you. You are rushing, being impatient, and panicking. What's the big urgency to get her back right away? Just relax! There is no magic pill you can take to make you ex come back. Get strong in heart, mind and spirit. You are putting her first in everything you do. Live your life, man! Get better. Link to post Share on other sites
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