How do i stop loving her, but remain friends?

[Zevlia]

okay, ive seen lots of posts about this topic & theyve helped me with some general advice, but my situation is pretty specific & unique. me myself: i am 18 years old, just about to leave college & go to university. i love my friend (lets call her sally), & i want to stop loving, but still remain friends. the advice that most people are giving is 'take some space, block her out of your life for a while, find somebody else & move on'. however, there is a problem, i have never met sally in person, we only know each other over the internet & she lives much too far away to regularly see each other. blocking her out of my life while i recover would technically result in us never speaking again.

 

first of all a lot of people will be thinking "youve never met her, you only know her online, you cannot possibly love her". & i admit that may well be true. i understand perfectly that i may not love the girl she REALLY is. but thats not my issue, my issue is loving the version of sally that i know. internet-sally may not be representative of real sally, but my feelings for this version are very much real & very much painful.

 

weve been talking for well over a year, met on a music social networking site, added on facebook & talked a lot & added on msn & became really close. since last summer we have webcammed, texted, phoned & videocalled each other. i value what we have so much & when we do things together like simultaneously watch films or act silly on webcam i am so so happy. my greatest fear is losing all that.

 

however, i do love her, & the fact that we can never be together is making me cry almost every night. ive told her before that i like her, but she doesnt think long-distance is a good idea & tbh neither do i. this is why i need to stop loving her. for the past 10 months or so i have been trying everything i can to begin to eliminate my feelings - trying to find other girls i like, partaking in sports or other activities, spending time with friends, burying myself in my college work - none of these has helped.

 

the pain is becoming too much for me to bear & i am seriously suffering day in day out from the misery of loving someone its impossible to have. the only option i see that is left to me is admitting how i feel to her. in the minute chance that when she knows the extent of my feelings she changes her mind, everythings cool we can move on from there. i do believe however that telling her will change nothing. leaving me with one choice - block her out of my life & move on. to properly do this i would have to block on msn, facebook, twitter, last fm & delete phone numbers, resulting in total loss of contact.

 

this has to be my last resort because i value what we have now more than anything, its wonderful & so so unique. also im incredibly lonely atm & a whole 10 weeks of summer before uni will be horrific without her. so what do i do? the pain is unbearable, giving myself time or distracting my mind does not work while she is still there to talk. have i used up all my options? is telling the truth & removing her the only thing left for me to do? any help would be priceless, thankyou for even reading if you think im right & this is the only way, please leave a comment regardless: going through with it will be the most horrible thing i have ever done & ill need to be strong thankyou so much