Current LD man is perfect except...(long read)

[zebracolors]

refer to topic from October 2009:

"Is smoking an addiction?"

 

Alright so to give an update. In a nutshell I've been chatting regularly with a man who is very long distance from me again. Why I got into another LDR is a topic for another section however.

 

Admittedly we met online and its been a little over a month that we've been talking over MSN and e-mail talking about things we do in our lives and other things. He's gotten on cam so I can see him, even though he knows I don't have a came yet myself. We even spoke very briefly on mobile phones but only once so far due to high costs. (he's Jordanian working in Saudi Arabia) this feels like the beginning stages of love I have to admit, and he's said he's feeling the same But even a month + in I am being careful and taking it slow. The fact that he is over seas helps with that, there is no temptation to rush into a physical relationship with him as much as my body tells me I want that.

 

But hes told me he wants to meet in person soon as we can, and I said I wanted that too. And don't worry Im cautious now after the last LDR and only took that at face value. I think I'm falling for him, but the careful part of me will believe it when the chance to be see each other face to face comes and he still genuinely seems to want the same. So now all I can do is trust him to be faithful to and both love, but also be honest with me, as he promises me he will.

 

This man has been treating me so great. The communication is there, the mental connection feels like its there and true, our chat has even turned sexual, and I feel comfortable with it, and the desire seems mutual, and he's even agreed that we should just meet once first to see if the chemistry will match in our bodies as it does in our minds. He's funny, sexy, smart, I think he's gorgeous and we are so comfortable. And at this point its defo still an LDR right now, but we'd both like to see if we can have a future together.

 

 

But as wonderful as he is, and hope he will continue to be, one thing depresses me about him. He smokes. When I found out he smoked I was so disappointed. Smoking almost killed my mother, but luckily she quit. However, in what would have been a deal breaker in most other circumstances, I realized something about this man was worth keeping. Smoking is usually the one thing I have allowed myself to decide is a deal breaker when it comes to dating. But would it have been fair for me to just stop things right then just because he smokes? And now a month in I certainly can't see myself walking away especially now that I am fairly certain how I feel about him. Not when pretty much all other things he does and says make me know how he feels is sincere.

 

So I don't know how I am going to deal with it when we can meet. The smell alone is sometimes enough to make me want to give someone a wide birth when walking by them. I've told him I wished he would not smoke, but I still cared enough for him that I accepted it as part of who he is. I've heard that you really can't wash away the smell completely and fear that being around him long enough, I'll smell like it too, even though I don't smoke, and never will. My feelings are strong enough now for him that I will kiss him anyway though so thats not in question. But any tactful ways down the road to try and encourage him to to quit? Will this spark a debate about which should happen? Me accepting him smoking or the argument that if he loves me he will quit because of that?

[LakesideDream]

This is LSD, and part of my story... has to be that I could not stop smoking for the woman I loved the most, and I'm sure it effected our relationship in a big way.

 

Don't count on him quitting. He will have to do it because he wants too.