I would like advise on what to say to my ex

[Dominic_Nate]

 

Hi. Its been 3 years since my ex broke up with me and it was so hard to take. We been together for a short couple of month but i fell in love with her. The 1st time we met, it was incredible and had never felt like this before. It was the 1st time i had fallen in love, it took only one glance and it happend. 5 month later, she broke up with me and i didn't know what to do. There wasn't really a reason on why the breakup and it hurts alot. Without her i was so lost, like everything just everything went downhill from there. Depression, sad and didn't talk to anybody.

 

3 weeks ago, me and my friend had ran into my ex and i got nervous at that point where i couldn't bring myself to talk to her. It was coincidence that my friend knew her and i had no idea. If she still likes me and wants to get back together what should i do. I have another friend that knows my ex very well and she had mentionned to me that my ex wanted to work things out on a friendship level and on going out if things go alright.

 

I'm so confused not knowing how to respond or what to say to her, i'm still in love with her and its hard enough not being able to be with her. She suppose to call me tonite and i'm speechless. Have no clue where to start the conversation and what to talk about.

 

I really would like your advise on what should i do or say.

[BrainRightHeartWrong]

if after all this time you still have feelings for her and don't feel that you could have a friendship ( if friendships are EVER possible with an ex ) then you shouldn't reopen your old wounds as you'll maybe only hurt yourself all over again

 

you should maybe tell her you aren't interested in friendship with her but don't tell her the reason why

 

you might find if you do this she might pursue you a bit

 

look after yourself and don't worry about her feelings as she has casued you so much damage before, you don't need more of that! ( wish i could do my own advice! )

 

good luck!

[Arabess]

Once you have survived a really PAINFUL breakup like that.....I can see where you are really hesitant to try again. I know I sure would be.

 

I guess the answer could be found in whether you could survive it or not......if things didn't go well between you. Not only do you still have the 'old' problems.....but now you've got 3 more years of baggage to contend with.

 

Then again.....it may be the real thing....and you don't want to miss out on the love of your life.....if she is willing to be that to you.

 

Until you talk to her.....I guess there is no way of knowing how serious she may be about all of this.

 

Jeez.....I've been NO HELP at all here. I don't even know what I would do. Generally though....I don't do 'retakes'.

[Velveteel]

If you are still in love with her, you owe it to your heart to try again. But the only way to succeed is NOT to blurt out that you're still in love. Take it very slow. Have the kind of conversation you'd have with any old friend you hadn't seen in a while. Ask about her parents, her friends, her school or work. Just chat lightly back and forth. Don't bring up anything about your depression or the girls you dated in the last three years. If she asks very personal questions, try to banter a bit. Tell her a lot can happen in three years, but you're a gentleman and you'll never tell. And don't probe for that kind of information about her. Keep it light. (You can decide in advance on one or two things you might feel good about telling her--not bragging, but things you're quietly proud about, like pets.) Keep the conversation brief--maybe 10-15 minutes. Have a polite excuse ready. Say it was great talking with her, and leave it at that.

 

She will come after you again if she's interested.

 

You do not want to look like the desperate ex, but like a man who's in charge of his life. And for all you know, after a talk or two, or a coffee date, you may find she's not really for you anymore. You have probably grown up a lot in three years.

 

Good luck!