solitasviator Posted January 27, 2004 Share Posted January 27, 2004 [font=times new roman][/font][color=black][/color] Hi, i am new to this forum and am just trying to get an opinion on something ive thought about but have had some people disagree with. I am to some degree gotten fed up with the current worldview of dating/romance. Alot of what i see on the subject is based on either seduction or certain ways you should have to act to get the opposite sex to be attracted to you. Well here goes my opinion. I have held the opinion for a little while that there should be nothing i should have to do to impress a women besides be myself. Im not ruling out the need for self improvment, or the place that doing romantic things has. All im saying is that society seems to have turned romance into a game, and books have been written and people speculated about strategy and ways to be effective and successful at this "game". I believe that the best quality a person can have is to be content with who they are but wont settle for staying that way. In other words to be confident in themselves but be open to flaws in their charecter and the idea of self improvment. I consider this important because lack of it implies insecurity. However i dont think that there should be any other qualities that are neccessary. The whole idea of love is unconditional, excepting a person for who they are, not who you want them to be. If i will not be excepted for who i am then it wil not be love, just a strong attraction toward something i'm really not. I will never be anything but myself and I am convinced i shouldnt have to be, but i will always be open to self improvement and flaws in my character. Of course i also would endeavor to return the same exceptance to anyone i meet since after all that is the nature of love. I guess that bassicaly im saying that society has turned it into a remarkably complex chess game when it really shouldnt have to be. In my opinion it should be as easy as being who you are and endeavoring to show unconditional exceptance and love to those in you life. I have met alot that disagree with this, please let me know your opinions, I would like both sides. AM I alone in this idea? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted January 27, 2004 Share Posted January 27, 2004 Nope. I mostly agree, except about the 'love is unconditional' bit. That's parental love. Married love is different and better in a way than unconditional love. Theoretically, unconditional love forgives everything. People who are careless about offending others plead for 'unconditional love' rather than learn to cease offending. That's bogus. If you are that great a partner, you won't need 'unconditional love'. Link to post Share on other sites
Author solitasviator Posted January 27, 2004 Author Share Posted January 27, 2004 moimeme - I see most of what your saying, however i dont understand how there could be anything better than unconditional love. I think unconditional love should be something we should strive for in all of our relationships. The only difference i would see in married love is that it can only function as long as the two sides stay commited too each others well being and the continuity of the marriage. But i think that should be the only condition. Flaws in character will always exist it is the nature of our humanity. I also dont think you should be soo quick to judge those who look for unconditional love. Just because they are does not mean they are quick to offend others, some may, but others may actually be striving to improve their characters, however they are also aware of their human weekness and the ability to make mistakes. Bassicaly i see it as the agreement that both sides will take the person for who they are, imperfections and all. It seems in your last post that you were saying it was possible for a person to completely perfect their character so unconditional love wouldnt be neccesary. I dissagree, you could spend your entire life looking for someone whos perfect but you will never find them. Thats just the nature of the human race. Like i said the last time, someone should be able to accept themselves, but not just leave themselves that way. Call me an idealist if you want, but i guess im saying that we should accept the people in our lives and not always spend time looking for someone who is better or closer to perfection, since in our humanity that is unattainable. Link to post Share on other sites
animo Posted January 28, 2004 Share Posted January 28, 2004 Well i think that in a form, married unconditional love can be possible...even if its only an illusion. I can use myself as an example. My conditions for marriage are pretty simple. I want to be loved completely, romanticalle and exclusivly and i want to love that way aswell. I also want a healthy sexlife in my marriage. Now say i had a wife with the exact same conditions then in a way we would have an unconditional love together since both want what the other wants and there is nothing that will ever make us aware that there is a condition to our love... Anyways, not sure this makes sence at all but i think that is probably as close to unconditional married love you can get. Link to post Share on other sites
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