I got 0 game :(

[Da Escobar]

This is my first on the forum, so I might as well say hi on it too. Hello everybody

 

Anyway, as my title states, I am not good with girls. I'm 18 (19 in October), finishing up high school, and I have never even kissed a girl (let alone had a gf)

 

And I'm not sure whats up, maybe it's the fact that I got to a small HS (round 800 people total), I have few close friends (not a lot of friends in general) or that I don't party or really hang out with anybody from school (except my two good friends who both have ****ty game)

 

I think I'm good looking (Here's a pic of me with long hair), I'm strong (lift everyday and run), I'm fairly smart, and I'm overall happy with the way I am, and won't change for anybody.

 

The thing is thou, small talk isn't really my specialty, and I sometimes have a tendency to stare a bit instead of acting. Also, approaching is difficult for me and I am still kinda scared of rejection.

 

So, I basically have everything I need to build a bangin house, I just have no clue how to put everything together (thats the way I think of my struggles haha)

[tman666]

Get bigger. Talk to more girls.

 

Practice makes perfect.

Edited May 28, 2010 by tman666

[USMCHokie]

Get bigger. Talk to more girls.

 

Practice makes perfect.

 

 

Grrr...you edited your post...blunt is better, my friend...

 

And I was going to say respond with "Well, you need some place to park the bangin bus..."

 

 

Anyway, OP, have you ever asked a girl out...? It all starts there...objectively speaking, you are attractive...but as tman pointed out, you have a little ways to go in the bigness...but otherwise, I don't see how girls wouldn't want to give you a chance...

[tman666]

Grrr...you edited your post...blunt is better, my friend...

 

And I was going to say respond with "Well, you need some place to park the bangin bus..."

 

 

Anyway, OP, have you ever asked a girl out...? It all starts there...objectively speaking, you are attractive...but as tman pointed out, you have a little ways to go in the bigness...but otherwise, I don't see how girls wouldn't want to give you a chance...

 

Hahaha, yes my original post was a little more detailed...

 

I felt that perhaps it was a little too harsh, too soon. His next response will determine what kind of future treatment he gets.

[brokenblade]

This is my first on the forum, so I might as well say hi on it too. Hello everybody

 

Anyway, as my title states, I am not good with girls. I'm 18 (19 in October), finishing up high school, and I have never even kissed a girl (let alone had a gf)

 

And I'm not sure whats up, maybe it's the fact that I got to a small HS (round 800 people total), I have few close friends (not a lot of friends in general) or that I don't party or really hang out with anybody from school (except my two good friends who both have ****ty game)

 

I think I'm good looking (Here's a pic of me with long hair), I'm strong (lift everyday and run), I'm fairly smart, and I'm overall happy with the way I am, and won't change for anybody.

 

The thing is thou, small talk isn't really my specialty, and I sometimes have a tendency to stare a bit instead of acting. Also, approaching is difficult for me and I am still kinda scared of rejection.

 

So, I basically have everything I need to build a bangin house, I just have no clue how to put everything together (thats the way I think of my struggles haha)

 

From what I've read, the only thing I can say is just go out and talk to girls. Hey it is easier said and done. From what I can see in your pic, there is nothing wrong with you. You can get girls.

 

You may have to do some small talk. Just be straight, don't try too hard to impress. Just try to have a good time. Women are more drawn to men who do not try too hard to prove themselves.

 

Another thing that is my experience it may be different for others. Whenever I quit looking and focus on improving myself, women seem more receptive to me.

 

Like I said, you can get girls. I'm scary looking and I can get girls if I want to. But I am totally screwed up in the head so I have to get my issues resolved.

 

Just take the pressure off of yourself and go talk to people and let life happen.

[Da Escobar]

Get bigger. Talk to more girls.

 

Practice makes perfect.

 

Solid words haha. I wanna play college football, so I am killing two birds with one stone by getting big.

 

The thing is, I'm to be honest kinda scared of talking to girls. Yes, its though to admit, but I kinda get intimidated by them, and it usually leads me to either talking without thinking (which often leads her to lose interest because I don't speak intelligent, or just act like an *******) or to just be silent.

 

Also, I have no problems with any harsh comments. Feel free to post whatever u guys feel is needed, cause nice words can only go so far. An insult is always remembered longer then a compliment.

 

Grrr...you edited your post...blunt is better, my friend...

 

And I was going to say respond with "Well, you need some place to park the bangin bus..."

 

 

Anyway, OP, have you ever asked a girl out...? It all starts there...objectively speaking, you are attractive...but as tman pointed out, you have a little ways to go in the bigness...but otherwise, I don't see how girls wouldn't want to give you a chance...

 

I wanted to read the comment about the bangin bus.

 

And no, I have never asked a girl out. Bad habit of bitching out and nit picking situation instead of just going in. Also have a bad habit of assuming older women (College girls) are an automatic rejection waiting to happen.

[USMCHokie]

And no, I have never asked a girl out. Bad habit of bitching out and nit picking situation instead of just going in. Also have a bad habit of assuming older women (College girls) are an automatic rejection waiting to happen.

 

 

Never asking a girl out = never going out with a girl.

 

It's as simple as that. You just need to get over your fear and do it.

[Da Escobar]

Never asking a girl out = never going out with a girl.

 

It's as simple as that. You just need to get over your fear and do it.

 

Fair enough. Will man up and try asking a girl out

[The Corn]

I could say in 99.9% likelihood, you will be so perfectly fine in 5 years from now.

 

But I think you got a case of the 'never' syndrome.

 

I always used to say, when you have 1, it's so easy to have a million. But when you have 0, it's nearly impossible to have 1.

[Da Escobar]

I could say in 99.9% likelihood, you will be so perfectly fine in 5 years from now.

 

But I think you got a case of the 'never' syndrome.

 

I always used to say, when you have 1, it's so easy to have a million. But when you have 0, it's nearly impossible to have 1.

 

Haha 99.9% isn't 100%,so work still has to be done

 

And your statement about how having one makes getting easy is too true. I know for a fact that many more girl friends will follow the first, I just gotta get the first one.

[jamal]

I will be blunt with you.

 

Firstly you have zero dress sense. You need to revamp your wardrobe if the outfit on your pic is anything to go by. Girls like men who know how to dress.

 

That beetles hairdo must go. You need a hairstyle that will bring out your masculinity. Both your clothing and hairstyle murder your masculinity.

 

Remember, women are attracted to macho type guys.

 

Besides the physical department, you must also convince yourself that you are a great catch (If I plaid football I would have thought I was God's gift to women). Women can sense confidence in a man from a mile away. Once you believe you are worth it then rejection will become the last thing on your mind and approaching women will be a breeze.

[USMCHokie]

I will be blunt with you.

 

Firstly you have zero dress sense. You need to revamp your wardrobe if the outfit on your pic is anything to go by. Girls like men who know how to dress.

 

That beetles hairdo must go. You need a hairstyle that will bring out your masculinity. Both your clothing and hairstyle murder your masculinity.

 

 

 

Very much agreed. Lose the shirt (why are you buttoning the collar... ) and get a haircut.

[Green]

I never even kissed a girl until the summer I graduated from college.

 

I was always so afraid of rejection. I was afraid of what people would think of me if they found out. Dating just seemed so stressful

 

Well I started getting pretty Horny and porn and jacking off were just making me more horny. I needed a REAL WOMAN. I was and still am completly against using a hooker so there was only one real answer... I needed to get a gf.

 

the Hornyness of a 22 year old man who has never even kissed a girl is a powerful thing and really like an out of body experience I found myself asking out A REALLY HOT girl who gave me a signal.. normaly I always ignored any signal a girl would give me but not this time... I flat out asked her for her number and aranged a date.

 

The Date had 2 parts to it. First was a nice dinner... second I took her out to a club you know for drinks and dancing. I normaly never drank but this time I drank until I was drunk... and while we were dancing I just kissed her.

 

Fast foward to the future and she dumped me. I was heart broken. I cried like a little bitch infront of people. Buttttt I had broken the physical barrier... I had my first kiss... not to mention my first bj, and vaginal sex. Women no longer seemed like these imposible obstacles... I knew I had done it once and I could do it again.

 

I no longer feared rejection, I knew that if I didn't try at all it was the same as rejection... I also knew that if people knew I had been rejected or saw me talking to a girl it later didn't work out with that it was like SO WHAT WHO CARES...

 

I learned to enjoy talking to women. It was no longer stress filled. I no longer cared if it worked out. If it worked out GREAT... but if she turned me down it was like so what there are other girls and we don't even know eachother.

 

Seriously you will probably be fine with time but basicaly

 

Stop caring and just ask girls out.... then face rejection by trying to kiss them on the dates.... ENJOY YOURSELF

[Ronni_W]

Also, approaching is difficult for me and I am still kinda scared of rejection.

Da Escobar,

More girls are going to say 'no' than 'yes'. [so] The ONLY way to increase your "success rate" is to ask out more girls. Hundreds and hundreds of them. Ask out EVERYBODY you're remotely interested in. Realize that the more 'no thank yous' you hear...the closer you are to receiving a 'yes please.'

 

In any case, the ones who do say 'no' are not judging-rejecting who you are as a person or the positive qualities that you have to offer. They're merely expressing their own preferences. But like I said, try to see the 'nos' as positives in that they're helping you get to the 'yeses'.

 

At 18/19, you just can't be afraid of girls saying 'no' to your invites. If you give in to that fear, your dating life is gonna suck. Don't even perceive it as "rejection". It's just that the girls who say 'no' have different preferences than what you're presenting on the outside (the way you talk, walk, act, dress, look.)

People, girls and guys, have the right to exercise their preferences...and their preferences have nothing to do with you. If you decide to make it about you and become afraid to even approach potential dates...your dating life is really gonna suck.

[Da Escobar]

I will be blunt with you.

 

Firstly you have zero dress sense. You need to revamp your wardrobe if the outfit on your pic is anything to go by. Girls like men who know how to dress.

 

That beetles hairdo must go. You need a hairstyle that will bring out your masculinity. Both your clothing and hairstyle murder your masculinity.

 

Remember, women are attracted to macho type guys.

 

Besides the physical department, you must also convince yourself that you are a great catch (If I plaid football I would have thought I was God's gift to women). Women can sense confidence in a man from a mile away. Once you believe you are worth it then rejection will become the last thing on your mind and approaching women will be a breeze.

 

I do need to get some new cloths. I don't usually wear a dress shirt with jeans, I got a lot of tee shirts (some are tight, some are bigger and fit looser), some shorts, a few long sleeve shirts, and like 2 polos. The thing is, I don't really know how to dress well. At least I got decent shoe game (High Top Air Force 1's and some black, red and white nikes).

 

My hair currently is short, I got it cut like 2 weeks ago. I think I looks a lot better now then in the pic.

 

Get confidence incredibly high and approach, got it

[Da Escobar]

And I get what you other guys are saying to. Nobody really cares about you getting rejected because they are too busy worrying about themselves. The more women you ask out the more likely you are to get a "yes". Enjoy myself

[stepka]

Escobar, You'll be fine--you're so adorable I wanted to set you up with my daughter and she's beautiful. Anyway, I teach high school and all I can say is that most guys your age have the same problem--it may seem that it's not so, but you guys only pay attn to the popular kids and you never look around you to see so many other kids in the same situation. Or if you do you figure they're so lame that they couldn't have anything in common with you, but then you see them in 10 years and realize they're not so lame after all. So, do what these guys advise and realize that you're normal.

[Da Escobar]

Escobar, You'll be fine--you're so adorable I wanted to set you up with my daughter and she's beautiful. Anyway, I teach high school and all I can say is that most guys your age have the same problem--it may seem that it's not so, but you guys only pay attn to the popular kids and you never look around you to see so many other kids in the same situation. Or if you do you figure they're so lame that they couldn't have anything in common with you, but then you see them in 10 years and realize they're not so lame after all. So, do what these guys advise and realize that you're normal.

 

haha way to sell out your own daughter just kidding, thanks for the compliment

 

And yea, I already know that I am normal and the best possible me I can be minus the girl aspect, but I am gunna work on my ego and just do work.

[seekandfind]

Dude, I feel like you are me 3 years ago. When I graduated high school, I had never kissed a girl, never had a girlfriend, and the only date I had been on was a dinner with 9 other couples before winter formal with a girl I wasn't attracted to AT ALL haha.

 

Come college, I had my first kiss fall quarter, then my first girlfriend winter quarter, and since then my confidence has only increased and I have met/hooked up with a good number of cute girls. I broke up with my 2nd girlfriend who I dated for a year at the beginning of the school year (still recovering a little bit). Just been having casual fun with girls recently, I've gone on a few dates but haven't met anyone that has the special connection. Looking forward to playing the field this summer though!

 

You don't have much to worry about man, just be friendly and outgoing. Practice talking to as many girls as you can, even if you aren't that attracted to them. Girls like a guy who is friendly and personable and makes everyone around him have a good time. Ask interesting questions that allow them to talk. If you need more practice go to the beach and the mall and talk to random girls, without worrying about what happens. This will help you get over fear of approach and rejection. Don't let your nervousness talk you out of it! It's exciting trying new things, and the more often you do it the better you will get! Just be casual and confident, if the conversation goes well then ask for their number.

 

The most important thing is realizing that if a girl rejects you, it isn't a big deal. Move on to the next one. Also, if she said no, that means you had the balls to talk to her, which is GOOD. Learn from what went wrong, and try not to do that in the future. But DONT OVER ANALYZE. Just go with the flow (Im working on this also!).

 

So enjoy your summer, have fun with friends, and keep working out. If you meet a cute girl, flirt a little bit and then if she flirts back at all, suggest hanging out sometime and ask for her number! Get ready for college man, there are so many girls, lots of fun opportunities =)

[Blade Runner]

Regarding the comment on the Beatles haircut - this is the problem with dating books, dating forums, people giving advice in general -- you can't tell somebody to be a certain style without knowing who they are! With the right clothes, our friend here could pull that look off, if he wanted to.

 

The point is, you sign onto these websites, and guys are like "cut your hair, grow some muscles". Yeah, sure - but that doesn't apply to everyone. Some girls prefer men who are skinny and have long or retro haircuts. Some women prefer guys who wear singlets to show off their muscles, wear hairgel and matching white shirts when they go out clubbing with all their "buddies". Ironically, changing your look for YOU will probably get you further than changing your look for women, because then you'll be confident in it, and as a result when you speak to women you'll do better.

 

What I'm saying is -- sure, look into these options, but at the end of the day, you have to be you. You gotta love what you look like first.

[Mac91]

If you wanna go with a dresshirt, find like a cardigan and a skinny tie to go with it. (If you wanna seem preppy or something) Just look at yourself in the mirror and ask if you would see this out on the street.

 

If you're into skinny jeans, which, judging by your physique, you'd fit into them well. Skinny jeans with a dresshirt and a skinny tie is always a classic IMO, especially in the highschool scene.

 

People all have their own style... some like to go to H&M, some like to go to American Outfitters... some like abercrombie and fitch... just find your niche. Wardrobe overhaul is def needed!

[Da Escobar]

Dude, I feel like you are me 3 years ago. When I graduated high school, I had never kissed a girl, never had a girlfriend, and the only date I had been on was a dinner with 9 other couples before winter formal with a girl I wasn't attracted to AT ALL haha.

 

Come college, I had my first kiss fall quarter, then my first girlfriend winter quarter, and since then my confidence has only increased and I have met/hooked up with a good number of cute girls. I broke up with my 2nd girlfriend who I dated for a year at the beginning of the school year (still recovering a little bit). Just been having casual fun with girls recently, I've gone on a few dates but haven't met anyone that has the special connection. Looking forward to playing the field this summer though!

 

You don't have much to worry about man, just be friendly and outgoing. Practice talking to as many girls as you can, even if you aren't that attracted to them. Girls like a guy who is friendly and personable and makes everyone around him have a good time. Ask interesting questions that allow them to talk. If you need more practice go to the beach and the mall and talk to random girls, without worrying about what happens. This will help you get over fear of approach and rejection. Don't let your nervousness talk you out of it! It's exciting trying new things, and the more often you do it the better you will get! Just be casual and confident, if the conversation goes well then ask for their number.

 

The most important thing is realizing that if a girl rejects you, it isn't a big deal. Move on to the next one. Also, if she said no, that means you had the balls to talk to her, which is GOOD. Learn from what went wrong, and try not to do that in the future. But DONT OVER ANALYZE. Just go with the flow (Im working on this also!).

 

So enjoy your summer, have fun with friends, and keep working out. If you meet a cute girl, flirt a little bit and then if she flirts back at all, suggest hanging out sometime and ask for her number! Get ready for college man, there are so many girls, lots of fun opportunities =)

 

Haha, well I hope after my first year we will be even more similar man. I've had more then a couple people tell me college completely changes everything, and I can't wait to go tbh (Drove over to campus the first time today ). Anyway, I've been thinking about, and I am ready to go and do work. So, good hunting to you too bro, I'm get mine.

[Da Escobar]

Ironically, changing your look for YOU will probably get you further than changing your look for women, because then you'll be confident in it, and as a result when you speak to women you'll do better.

 

What I'm saying is -- sure, look into these options, but at the end of the day, you have to be you. You gotta love what you look like first.

 

Too true man. Thanks for the advice. My closet is a work in progress as funds are limited, but I won't try to be something I am not. If I lie something, or if somebody close who I trust tells me it looks good on me and I agree, then I'll get it. Sa bout it.