Why are black women left out of the interracial dating game too?

[amerikajin]

>>>I'll credit my high school experience for my viewpoint on black women. Roughly one-third of the students were black, and they were the inner-city kids. I was never a fan of what I consider ‘ghetto culture.’ In fact, I hate it. The incredible arrogance of some black girls made a lasting impression. <<<

 

Again, I think we have to be specific and point out that this is African American culture. In areas where other factors are the same, I find that my attraction to black women is probably equal to that of any other race.

 

>>>I’m also afraid of having family ties to black people because of the high incarceration rates, and I’m also sick of dealing with the politics of racism, and political correctness. I find myself blocking out a lot this racial harmony propaganda because it reminds me of the relentless nag I call mom.<<<

 

It depends on the type of black person with whom you're associating, Block. I have a few white friends who've been put in jail before - in all cases for minor misdemeanor offenses, but still, don't think that blacks are the only ones who go to jail.

 

>>>I disagree. I believe the willingness to separate and form a smaller group is a part of human nature.<<<

 

Then why do white men feel more comfortable approaching Asian or Latina women, and not black women? Anytime a white guy dates a woman or Asian or Latin descent, he's stepping outside of his smaller group circle, is he not? Obviously, I can't speak for you. How you see it is for you to decide, but if I had to guess, I think black women are at a disadvantage for the aforementioned reasons I've already stated.

[LoveDeluxe]

Maybe it's because I live in San Francisco, but I cannot possibly believe all the generalizations and stereotypes, harmful ones at that, that are made of all sorts of people. I have found men (and women) to be attractive in EVERY racial group. I have dated white men, asian men (the term oriental is derogatory in case people don't already know that), black men, latin men, native american men, men of mixed ethnicities. People are so complex and distinct in every way. I personally find black women very attractive as well as Asian men. The media portrays these two groups in very unappealling manners, and I think that these messages have a huge impact on society's views.

[dyermaker]

LoveDeluxe,

 

As a fellow san fransiscan, I ask you:

 

Do you think it's racist to not be attracted to someone because of their race?

[amerikajin]

San Francisco tends to be one of the more progressive areas of the country. I spent a summer in Santa Cruz one year while I was in college, visited the Bay a few times. I remember there was a black lady who was a little older than I (I was 21 at the time)...I think she had a thing for me. Kept visiting me at work. Honestly, I wanted to hook up with her but I was too shy and too bad at reading the signs of interest back then to notice....besides, I didn't have a car there. I didn't know what I was supposed to do even if I did ask her out.

 

p.s. Dyer, if you're a peninsula guy, why do you like the Raiders???

[dyermaker]

To answer my own question, I don't think it is. I think that if a certain race has certain features physically, and those don't physically attract you, I don't see how that could offend someone, it's taking anti-discrimination to a radical extent. If you reject any girl, she just didn't meet your tastes, but if you reject a black girl, all of the sudden you are racist?

 

I also don't think the media has anything to do with it at all. I don't base my attractions off of what's sold to me. Additionally, I see TONS of black people in advertising, it seems that no programing exists without a black person "thrown in there", as if somehow some racist bumpkin from arkansas is going to see a black girl in a GAP ad and he'll see the light.

[LoveDeluxe]

The "my best friend is black/gay", "I have one token black/gay friend" argument is not a good one to make, I agree. And to your question about not being attracted to a certain race, I don't think it is racist at all. However, race is such a large category, and people in certain racial groups don't look the same, especially African Americans, who come in all shapes and sizes. Even color wise, they don't all look alike as there is much mixing in their culture anyway, due to slavery, etc.

The same can be said for Asians, Latinos, and Whites. So to say I am not attracted to ______ or ______, etc. I find is interesting. But heck, I'm from San Francisco, what do I know???

 

 

To be honest with you, I think that beauty really comes in all shapes and sizes, and variety is the spice of life!

[jenny]

i think attraction does not occur in a trans-historical vacuum. it is inevitably mixed with issues of power, and the way racial relations plays out is integrated into that impulse.

 

i really like the comment that is is an ugly discussion. i'm glad it is being had. i like it when people acknowledge that history is filthy. if there were no history of slavery, colonization, genocide, media brainwashing, and prejudice, i would accept all attractions as simple biological chaos.

 

i think this thread reflects how many of my guys friends think. my girlfriends' fetish for black men suggests the same kind of implicit 'bone' racism. i'm not suggesting we attempt to change attraction; i'm content to let hollywood do that; but i think pretending that our biases emerge randomly is naive. it's heartening to see when people know they are subject to earlier narratives and experiences about race - they now offer courses at universities on how 'yellow fever' and constructions of the 'hot-cocked noble savage' came to be through early exploration literature.

 

i don't have an argument here, sorry. i just find this honesty immensely refreshing and helpful in destroying the god awful pretense that we are now somehow too evolved for racial prejudice. it interests me that here in canada, where we falsely pride ourselves on our 'reduced racism', many people feel that both native men and women are simply excluded from most discourse on racial attractions, without investigating any context for that.

 

i also don't mind being told i'm the worst kind of racist: the implicit middle class liberal white one. i'm systemic rather than crass; aesthetic rather than political; personal rather than polemical. disinterest smells like money.

 

i know that despite my volunteer work, patronizing platitudes, and donations, i'm the hidden racist - the wigger in the woodpile.

 

there is nothing better than open racism, in a way, for rooting us out. i want to go bananas on racists - they are the last acceptable category to totally alienate and judge - (except smokers) but i want to be more honest than that, because the thread is so honest.

[BlockHead]

It depends on the type of black person with whom you're associating, Block.

Generalizing is difficult to avoid because bad impressions often have a lasting effect.

Would you go to a restaurant if you experienced rude behavior, bad service, and bad food once before? How about a different restaurant but the same franchise?

jenny

i also don't mind being told i'm the worst kind of racist: the implicit middle class liberal white one. i'm systemic rather than crass; aesthetic rather than political; personal rather than polemical. disinterest smells like money.

So, people are trying to manipulate you through feelings of guilt, and intimidation.

 

The use of the word racist is like the “boy who cried wolf.” Overuse and abuse of the word weakened its power. To me, it is almost meaningless.

[amerikajin]

>>>Generalizing is difficult to avoid because bad impressions often have a lasting effect. Would you go to a restaurant if you experienced rude behavior, bad service, and bad food once before? How about a different restaurant but the same franchise?<<<

 

I agree: impressions do have a lasting effect. That's still no excuse for not trying to meet someone and give them a chance as an individual (and I'm not saying you're doing that, just that I'm responding to the comments). Look at it the other way. Do you want blacks or other minorities making generalizations about you? Do you want them assuming that you're racist because you're a white male? Communities aren't healed by that kind of standoff of suspicion and distrust. Part of the reason I was so candid with my words at the beginning of this thread was because I believe exactly the opposite (and Jenny summed it up quite well): I believe that the only way to get through the racial divisions is to get right to the truth. That's not a license to be an insensitive jerk or make bigoted remarks, but it's an invitation to say what one really thinks about the issue. I'm no fan of political correctness either - in fact, I hate it. I believe that all commentary on the issue of race should be sensitive so that it doesn't offend people unnecessarily, but the question was asked "Why are black women left out of the dating game?", and I answered it as truthfully as I could from my point of view. I don't pretend to speak for anyone else.

 

Someone made the comment that America has a problem with racism. We're hardly unique. If anything, I think that despite it's open and at times hostile divisions, America is moving much faster in dealing with its problems than say Europe or other countries around the world. At least we talk about the problem; other countries would rather sweep the problem under the carpet as if the problems don't exist. In Germany it's against the law to use "hate speech", a crime for which you can do time. There are similar statutes in other European countries.

 

So what happens?

 

Nobody talks about the messy issue.

 

Problem solved, right? Yeah. Sure. Things are great until France suddenly has an extreme xenophobe named Le Pen in a runoff against Chirac in the Presidential election. Things are fine until synogogues are targeted for firebombings and Muslims are told to take off their apparel in schools. Things are fine until Jorg Haider gains a prominent spot in the Austrian parliament winning the support of rightists. Not trying to say we're better than Europe when it comes to dealing with racism, just pointing out that the problem is everywhere and that if there is one good thing about the situation in the U.S., it's that we'll never let the issue fall on deaf ears.

 

By contrast, I live in what might be the most homogenous, xenophobic society on earth. Racial discrimination here is against the letter of the law; in reality, it's institutionalized at just about every level and in every facet of society. And it's a problem that only foreigners talk about...to people who really don't seem to give a s***.

 

>>>The use of the word racist is like the “boy who cried wolf.” Overuse and abuse of the word weakened its power. To me, it is almost meaningless.<<<

 

I think that in each case, you have to look at what is truly being said. The mere fact that something is offensive isn't necessarily prima faciae evidence of racism. You have to examine and analyze the nature and context of such statements, and determine whether the intent was merely pointing out an opinion about an aspect of a particular ethnicity, or whether the comments represent a general tone of derision.

[Bronzepen]

Originally posted by dyermaker

LoveDeluxe,

 

As a fellow san fransiscan, I ask you:

 

Do you think it's racist to not be attracted to someone because of their race?

 

 

I think a better question would be:

 

Do you think it's racist to BE attracted to someone because of their race?

 

I have seen people go out of their way to prove they are liberal by dating someone from another race, simply to prove they are not racist.

 

To me this just proves they are racist.

 

Date someone for their qualities and personality.

 

To me, it's more important how a person is on the inside then how they look on the outside.

[cdn]

Do you think it's racist to BE attracted to someone because of their race?

Yes. Racism is allowing another person's race to affect your behavior, decision making, etc. It is no less racists to say that black people are highly intelligent and hard working than it is to say that they are stupid and lazy.

 

This thread appalls me, frankly. Someone posted that this is an ugly discussion and it is, but for all the wrong reasons, imo. How is it that topics like porn and extra-marital sex bring out harsh judgments and even ridicule but overtly racist comments are being applauded for their honesty?

 

And I wonder if everything would be so calm if the target were not black women, but say, a group with greater representation here on LS.

[Reckless]

an ugly discussion

 

Jenny said this (and I don't think the pun was intended) but I beg to differ. I don't think it's 'ugly' to state the truth, however brutal and this system is going to bust wide apart because all the hatred and racism is driven underground by all the talk-talk politically correct talking!

 

That's not to say that nothing has been gained by making certain words unacceptable in polite society or forcing people to be accountable for their actions (we'd be that much further from ML King's dream if that were not so..) but I would rather a scholarship be given to a poor black student or some kid from the wrong side of the tracks in Birmingham Alabama than a world of blah-blah that tires the intelligent and doesn't do a damn thing to change the hearts and minds of the ignorant.

 

The original question was why black women seem to be at the bottom of the dating list and I have no problem with someone writing that in all honesty they find black women fat as houses and butt ugly. Maybe he has only met the fat ugly ones or maybe he can only see the ugly ones but I hate that we can only be polite when it comes to this issue. A black woman is at a disadvantage if she can be seen, not as a dark skinned variety of her sex but as a slogan and a cliché. Someone earlier said they 'respect black women but just are not sexually attracted to them'. It's hard to be attracted to a pair of swinging hips or perky breasts if they have 'ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OF SLAVERY' tattooed across them. When the fights are over and sex can be just that, only that, then maybe this discussion could take place without all the issues that make it a loaded gun. I don't know if that can every be the case...

 

Not finding black women attractive is not racism, beating them up in dark allies is racism; denying them a job for which they are qualified in favor of an under qualified white person is racism. Presuming that the black woman you haven't talked to is less intelligent because of her full lips and springy hair (no matter where you grew up) is racism. Not wanting to sleep with her is not.

 

It's harmful to deny the facts. Okay, I did find it very surprising to read some of the comments here, but that's probably because of where I live and the types of people I meet - to say there are not crass, low class, black man-women is to say that all white women carry Shakespear in their gucci bags and have never heard of K-Mart - but for warned is forearmed and sometimes it's good to know what thoughts might lurk behind the pressed white collars of college educated professionals when they shake your hand at a board meeting or scan the room at the company end of year gathering. Some things you don't want to hear and 'aggressive, fat, scary, crass, ignorant, uneducated unfeminine and just plain ugly' probably comes close but hey... 'vivre la difference' as they say in my neck of the woods...

 

God bless LS and open discussion, long may it prosper!

[look forward]

Reckless you say

 

" I would rather a scholarship be given to a poor black student or some kid from the wrong side of the tracks in Birmingham Alabama than a world of blah-blah that tires the intelligent and doesn't do a damn thing to change the hearts and minds of the ignorant."

 

Sorry but i was from the line of thinking that the scholarship be given to the kid that deserved it regardless of thier colour, class or background....

 

and also "It's hard to be attracted to a pair of swinging hips or perky breasts if they have 'ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OF SLAVERY' tattooed across them. When the fights are over and sex can be just that"

 

If that were really true then i wouldn't even leave my house of a morning.. I am not fighting or will be fighting anything I know my history and its sad it really is but i am not gonna walk around with a chip on my shoulder because of what happend fifty years ago because quite frankly i have enough sh*t going on in my own life without adding more to it.. and if some guy is not ginna ask me out because he is too busy fretting about some fight that is still going on that would be supposedly "tattooed" across me then fine like i care i wont be losing any sleep over it thats for sure...

 

I am just thankful that I live in an area in England where by if i am approached by a guy it its poorly because of my Swinging Hips and Perky Breasts and the fifty years fight of slavery doesn't even cross his mind and has nothing what soever to do with it..

 

the title of this thread is interesting and has provoked many responses that have both appauled me and pleased me but i am safe in the fact that as a young black woman who isn't fat and ugly as alot of you guys think we all are... I dont think i am out of the loop at all..I have dated men from many cultures and backgrounds if i like them i date them"simple" its not rocket science.... its a little like saying why are skinny men out of the loop when it comes to dating? or why are women with big noses out of the loop when it comes to dating...

 

People are complex beings and preferences will always differ for some its, shape, hair colour, eye colour, height and for others its skin colour.. for me and hopefully others like me if you like someone you like someone the rest doesn't matter but by the looks of this thread there is still a long way to go before others think that way...

[asdfg]

Most black females are just simply not attractive. There are exceptional ones like

 

halle barry, beyonce, and tyra banks, but the majority just isnt exactly eye

 

catching. Some of you cant go around calling some of us racist just because we

 

dont find black females attractive. Its not just some blacks girls, but I dont think

 

most of us would approach someone of the opposite sex that they find butt-ugly.

 

Many of you black girls are on the same boat as asian males, so at least you

 

know your not alone in battling these sterotypes, and standards of beauty in

 

america. Truthfully though, in my opinion asian males have it the worse, since

 

their underrepresented, and desexualized by the media. At least black women

 

have quite a number of public figures, the ones that asian males have plays

 

on the sterotypes of the asian male. Jackie chan, Jet li, Chow Yun fat all do kung

 

fu flicks, speak broken english and isnt exactly gorgeous according to women.

 

Where as many men do find quite a number of black female actresses attractive.

[amerikajin]

>>>This thread appalls me, frankly. Someone posted that this is an ugly discussion and it is, but for all the wrong reasons, imo. How is it that topics like porn and extra-marital sex bring out harsh judgments and even ridicule but overtly racist comments are being applauded for their honesty?<<<

 

With the exception of one poster, I've yet to see anything "overtly" racist, in the sense of someone essentially denigrating blacks. I think those who have made some of the more controversial comments have been careful to explain what they mean, and I think there has been an effort to respect the sensitivities of all people on the boards.

 

I think the reason why some people are "applauded for their honesty" with respect to some of the comments made has to do with the fact that these are not things a person feels comfortable saying, but they say them anyway - not to provoke or antagonize, but because that's just the way they've been conditioned, and the person is trying to make some sense of it. I respect some of the admitted adulterers for their honesty, too, at times, though it depends on the circumstances. I don't defend arguments or statements simply because they're unpopular.

 

The fact is, just about everyone I've ever met has some form of bias about someone or something. It's human nature. Some people are better at controlling their biases than others. The best way to deal with bias is to talk about it constructively and openly. If people are going to be lambasted as racists merely for admitting they have some biases, you may keep them from saying offensive remarks but you won't necessarily change their attitudes. As say this as someone who's experienced racism firsthand.

[monkey00]

Originally posted by asdfg

Most black females are just simply not attractive. There are exceptional ones like

 

halle barry, beyonce, and tyra banks, but the majority just isnt exactly eye

 

catching. Some of you cant go around calling some of us racist just because we

 

dont find black females attractive. Its not just some blacks girls, but I dont think

 

most of us would approach someone of the opposite sex that they find butt-ugly.

 

Many of you black girls are on the same boat as asian males, so at least you

 

know your not alone in battling these sterotypes, and standards of beauty in

 

america. Truthfully though, in my opinion asian males have it the worse, since

 

their underrepresented, and desexualized by the media. At least black women

 

have quite a number of public figures, the ones that asian males have plays

 

on the sterotypes of the asian male. Jackie chan, Jet li, Chow Yun fat all do kung

 

fu flicks, speak broken english and isnt exactly gorgeous according to women.

 

Where as many men do find quite a number of black female actresses attractive.

 

good point you got across, i agree with what you said.

as this guy said, either you're attracted to someone or you're not. racism has nothing to do with it.

stereotypes will exist, but usually the negative factor to stereotype is usually "not approaching or getting to know someone before you meet them" once you get to know the person better ,socialize with him/her more, the stereotype will be broken for the most part on him/her.

you can say someone's racist just cause they're not attracted to him/her, either their eye-catching attractive or their not...as simple as that. if i came across a girl of any ethnic background and to me she has great qualities and is attractive...i'd go out w/her in an instant.

 

remember guys/girls handsome/pretty NOT EQUAL to attractive, one can be handsome/pretty and at the same time not be attractive. ex: handsome guy acting like a wuss/nerd hot girl acting like a whore/bitch

 

beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

 

and yea, in terms of widespread media...black females have it much better than asian men do....singers, tv actors, movie actors, theatre actors, advertisements, commercials.....the list goes on and on, dont forget video games!!

yes asians are in some, but those are only on the crappy ones that take place in china/japan..etc.

we are still badly stereotyped/judged because of those actors (jacky chan, jet li, chow young fat) that unfortunately made all asians look bad....and that all they know how to do is kung fu..

[jenny]

first, i was not the first one to say this was an ugly discussion. i wish i had; it's quite succinct.

 

second, i applaud contextualized and aware honesty. i don't think asdfg's comments add much but polarizing noise, but i find many of the other ones insightful; and conscious of their own racism.

 

it is the honesty of recognizing racism, however subtle or aesthetic, that i admire. university discussions about how we can 'help the poor uneducated natives' used to piss me off immeasurably, because they simply would not recognize that even linguistically, the native is still considered an object that needs parental change.

 

i much prefer this discussion to the round able suburban discussion where every person in the class shared a time they helped a native or felt the call of native spiritutality; i like my issues out in the open, i suppose. lee maracle's approach to canadian politics, conversely, i find challenging to my complancency as a swarmy canadian.

[amerikajin]

>>>Yes. Racism is allowing another person's race to affect your behavior, decision making, etc. It is no less racists to say that black people are highly intelligent and hard working than it is to say that they are stupid and lazy.<<<

 

Well, I think racism is the idea that one race is inherently superior to another. What you're referring to is "bias", which isn't necessarily manifest in the form of racism. Everyone has biases, and don't even begin to tell me you don't - I wouldn't take you seriously if you did say such a thing. To me, the difference between a bigot and a normal human with biases is that most people of decent character try to judge character individually and they try become better people in the process; bigots don't. Bigots are comfortable being bigots, and they're not about to change.

 

>>>This thread appalls me, frankly. Someone posted that this is an ugly discussion and it is, but for all the wrong reasons, imo. How is it that topics like porn and extra-marital sex bring out harsh judgments and even ridicule but overtly racist comments are being applauded for their honesty?<<<

 

I don't find the thread too savory myself, but the discussion is enlightening. The question is, how do we make something constructive out of a discussion like this? We can say "You're such a bigot for saying such a thing", sling the race card around and talk about how appalled we are by reading someone's private thoughts...or we can take those thoughts, analyze them, try to facilitate a civil discussion, separate fact from fiction and get people to re-think their biases. I think that's more constructive.

 

Unlike most of the liberal white "do-gooders" who talk about race, I've actually been a victim of racism myself. I live in a country that's easily one of the most xenophobic on the face of the earth and I've heard my own fair share of comments that annoy and outright anger me. At the same time, I also take the comments for what they are worth and try not to let it bother me too much. Some of the more ridiculous comments are usually made by people who haven't had much interaction with other cultures, so while I find their ignorance appalling, it's easy to understand where they come from. With more reasonable people, I simply challenge them to defend their statements. Most of the time, they can't, and they're forced to re-think their biases. In some cases, though, biases contain a kernel of truth. One reason why Japanese people say foreigners are criminals is because, well, foreigners actually commit a disproportionate amount of the crime as compared to the native population. Is it racist to tell the truth?

[Sarila]

asdfg...who do you think you are? I mean you are entitled to your opinion, but "your" racial profiles are grand sweeping generalizations. I'm a white female, and I know several black women who I think are really pretty, and some act masculine, some don't. Some white women do, some don't. Honestly, the most butch masculine mannered female I have ever seen and spoken with was Asian, she spoke (or nearly shouted, rather) in ebonies. (A word I despise, given the implications that it's "black" slang, when I know people of many races who speak that way.)

 

Anyway, I find some asian men very sexy.

[Reckless]

Originally posted by look forward

Reckless you say

 

" I would rather a scholarship be given to a poor black student or some kid from the wrong side of the tracks in Birmingham Alabama than a world of blah-blah that tires the intelligent and doesn't do a damn thing to change the hearts and minds of the ignorant."

 

Sorry but i was from the line of thinking that the scholarship be given to the kid that deserved it regardless of thier colour, class or background....

 

I'm sorry if I gave the impression that any child should be given a scholarship based on his skin colour. What I meant was I would like to see an improvement in the accessibility of scholarships to all equally, and unfortunately all things are NOT equal and disadvantaged children have less of a chance to glean even a decent primary education (illiteracy is lamentably still a problem even in developed countries) not to mention access to the higher ranks of the educational field. I for one agree with that merit should be the only basis for selection for a scholarship, as long as all get to stand in the line and since a disproportionate number of black and minorities kids still drop out of school the 'line up' is not, I fear completely balanced. Still, I did not mean to move away from the thread's original topic or suggest that selection based on skin colour was the answer.

 

I am just thankful that I live in an area in England where by if i am approached by a guy it its poorly because of my Swinging Hips and Perky Breasts and the fifty years fight of slavery doesn't even cross his mind

 

My point exactly. I my point was not that black women have a collective chip on their shoulders but that many that look at us cannot get past the history and numerous political issues that continue to be intertwined in this most basic of human relations, making simply seeing the 'hips 'n bits' that little bit harder for those in less integrated parts of the world.

 

If anything I was surprised that this discussion has revealed so few men that seem attracted to black women but that personally doesn't bother me, since I think it more reflects the demographics of LS community than the world in general and certainly not the world in which I live in. With few exceptions, no one here has expressed themselves in an 'ugly' mannor and my point was in part, that while we can discuss asian women and their long silky hair and little childlike bodies and american women and whether their men prefer long legs or big busts, a discussion on black women is about education and politics. No one has mentioned how well we age, great skin, beautiful hips white teeth, full soft lips and a brimming sensuality....

 

Thankfully, it's all just rhetoric anyway since black women are generally the most comfortable with their history, their bodies and more often than not, go out and make their own chances; all of which makes them, in my personal experience tremendously attractive to men of all races.

 

(....talking of which, hi asdfg, are you flirting with me? I think you're flirting with me...lol...)

[jenny]

(....talking of which, hi asdfg, are you flirting with me? I think you're flirting with me...lol...)

 

lol! that. was. awesome! i love it! alright, i'm now going to bed chuckling. i hope he has the cahones to answer you!

[amerikajin]

>>>If anything I was surprised that this discussion has revealed so few men that seem attracted to black women but that personally doesn't bother me, since I think it more reflects the demographics of LS community than the world in general and certainly not the world in which I live in.<<<

 

I can't speak for anyone else, but I think that's a fair point. I don't know it for certain, but my guess is that the social status of black people (and hence, black women) is higher in places like Canada and the UK.

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by Reckless

My point exactly. I my point was not that black women have a collective chip on their shoulders but that many that look at us cannot get past the history and numerous political issues that continue to be intertwined in this most basic of human relations, making simply seeing the 'hips 'n bits' that little bit harder for those in less integrated parts of the world.

 

I personally don't find black women attractive, I don't mean that in a rude way, I'd be happy to be their friend, but physically there are some features that I don't find physically attractive. No one would hold it against me if I didn't care for blondes, so I don't see how this is any different. Additionally, their history and political issues have nothing to do with it.

[BlockHead]

Reckless

I for one agree with that merit should be the only basis for selection for a scholarship, as long as all get to stand in the line and since a disproportionate number of black and minorities kids still drop out of school the 'line up' is not, I fear completely balanced.

And what does this have to do with the main topic?

amerikajin

I can't speak for anyone else, but I think that's a fair point. I don't know it for certain, but my guess is that the social status of black people (and hence, black women) is higher in places like Canada and the UK.

’Ghetto culture’ is like an infection. I hope it doesn’t spread to those places.

dyermaker

Additionally, their history and political issues have nothing to do with it.

I agree.

 

 

I believe that ‘love’ and romance involve cathexis. I don’t see how a woman can argue her way into a man’s heart and vice versa. If two people can’t connect at the emotional level, that’s too bad. If a white man were expected to develop an interest in black women for the sake of political correctness, he would be living a lie. I think this whole argument is a joke.

 

Reckless

How would you feel if you had to develop an attraction for a certain type of man to meet a quota, to make him happy, because you are indebted to him, or because some political jackass says you must?

Tell me, do you like horribly obese (800lb ~ 360kg) white men?

 

I don’t want politics in my bedroom.

[Reckless]

And what does this have to do with the main topic?

 

Firstly, my observations about educational imbalance was in response to a specific point made by 'Look forward' and if you read the whole post I apologized for drifting away from the original topic of discussion.

 

I don’t want politics in my bedroom.

 

Secondly, I don't think anywhere I implied that politics had a place in the bedroom and my central point was that sexual attraction is just that and that all the rhetoric about why black women find themselves where they do is just that, so much talk.

 

I think I said loud and clear that not finding the physcal features of one race or another is neither racist or a problem but since amerikajin did introduce the idea that he may have been exposed to a certain type of black woman, thought it a valid point to mention that human relationships do not happen in a social or political void but that failing to let the past go only alienates people and alienation isn't sexy....

 

Reckless

How would you feel if you had to develop an attraction for a certain type of man to meet a quota

 

I can't answer that since I don't see where I implied anything that that merits you should ask me such a question. I mentioned some features that some men find attractive in black women not as an attempt to 'argue' into anyones heart or got forbid bed, but as statement of fact (a fact just as valid methinks as the cries from the 'butt-ugly' contingent).

 

Anyway, possibly I failed to express myself accurately but in any case I better bow out before what was not an ugly discussion goes that way,

 

Peace,

R.