Why are black women left out of the interracial dating game too?

[caramelbrownchick]

yeah true dat black women are the best lovers

[GirlDown]

Originally posted by sinny

Originally posted by claudia

As for history white plantain owners were sleeping and raping which type of women ? even a couple presidents in those eras had black children .

 

 

Claudia, I am with you. If black women are so horrible, why are Strom Thurmond and many an evil plantation owner so damn tempted?

 

 

because they could.

 

i doubt they said "this individual is hotter than my wife and i prefer to sleep with/rape her based on her looks."

 

rape isn't about attraction, it's about power. and they had it.

[caramelbrownchick]

Alot of plantaion owners bought black women that they were attracted to, the most beautiful of black women got special treatment, alot of black plantation owners also fell in love with them, so yes white men have been attracted to black women for a very long time.

[sweetness69]

yep white men are definently still attracted to us but they wont admit it now because they think its nasty or not normal. they know they be looking at bet saying (look at dat ass). lol

[manicmadness]

I am a black female in nyc and most of my boyfriends have been white........ and yes that icon avatar thingy is me. so whoever started this by saying that all black women in nyc are unattractive needs help!

[manicmadness]

"In terms of looks, majority of black women are in my opinion just flat out ugly. I have seen very few good looking black women and i live in new york city wheres theres plenty of black women. Most asian females i see are above average, and white / latino women are average, but most black women who look good are usually mixed with other ethnicities and just call themselves black" (quote from pg.1 of this thread).

 

 

I have no idea where in nyc you are hanging out because there are so many beautiful black women all over this city!!!!

[CurvyGurl]

You just can't compare a white woman, a hispanic woman, an asian woman, and a black woman because there is no Universal definition of beauty. There are black women like Queen Latifah and Angela Bassett who are simply GORGEOUS but don't look anything like Cindy Crawford or Angelia Jolie, or ( off the top of my head I can't think of a well known Asian woman). It's a different kind of beauty and there is so much trouble crossing race and culture lines beacuse there are men who don't see past their own definition of beauty. Our time would be better spent with those who have a more universal, a more global sense of beauty than someone who is more narrow minded (and I don't mean narrow minded in a mean and snarky way, I mean narrow minded in the sense that the definition of beauty does not cross certain racial lines.)

 

So while the above poster might think the black women he comes into contact with are 'ugly', what he really means is that his definition of beauty does not encompass what makes a black woman beautiful, and that only when her heritage contains traits of other cultures does he find her attractive. I would argue that a black woman may not be beautiful compared to a white man's standard, but a man who knows and appreciates black beauty would beg to differ.

[Moose]

yep white men are definently still attracted to us but they wont admit it now because they think its nasty or not normal. they know they be looking at bet saying (look at dat ass). lol

I'm not denying anything, I love black women! I find them extreemly attractive! I think I've said it before on this thread, but if anything were to happen between me and Mrs. Moose, there are a few women I'd pursue, and they are all black. I don't think there's anything wrong with my attraction, and if others think there is, then they're shallow.

[pretty1982]

Originally posted by amerikajin

Now THIS is a discussion.

 

I'm a white guy, but I have to be honest and say that I generally don't find many black women attractive to me. Some black women, of course, are drop-dead gorgeous, and I find myself doing a double take.

 

By now most of you know that I don't always say things that are popular. Well, I'm sure that this post will be among the more controversial, but here goes:

 

I don't find black women attractive because I find I have little in common with the ones I've met. I'm usually more educated than they are. I'm usually in better shape physically. I find that they're headed in a much different direction than I am in life. And I think having grown up in the Deep South, we find ourselves on different sides of just about everything, socially speaking. Is this fair? No. Is part of the problem me? Yes. Am I being closed minded? To some extent, probably so.

 

Well, everyone is entitled to their own opinions and preferences but some of the things you said just sounds plain ignorant. I don't know your age so I hope I don't offend you but you sound like a old person from the south. I'm also from the south unfortunately and there are many, many people like you in the south and yes your post does sound racist. I'm a 22 year old black women, beautiful, intelligent and very educated college student. I've dated and I'm currently with a white man that I'm going to marry.

 

Let me explain something. I'm not saying whites are inherently superior to blacks - that's not at all what I'm saying. Nor am I saying that there are no educated, intelligent black women out there - I know there are. But I grew up in a part of the country where generations of blacks were oppressed and went without education. I find that I relate hardly at all with the black community, though I find it easier for me to hang out with black men than black women, yet sometimes, I find it easier to do real talking with black women. For what it's worth, I have found a couple of black people with whom I currently work who I consider to be on my level, so to speak. God, I know that sounds arrogant, obnoxious, elitist, and probably racist and maybe it is. I don't mean it to be. It's just in my head.

 

Yes, you grew up in a place where blacks were oppressed and went without education but that's way back in the past. Now blacks are more educated and successful. When you say that you don't relate with the black communities you make it seem that you don't think we're not educated or intelligent as you may be. You say that because we're black but many blacks in some of the communities where you're from most may be more educated, intelligent and successful. I live in a community where mostly white live and I do relate to them in many ways.

 

Another thing is, black women intimidate me. There's no woman on this earth stronger than a black woman, and I mean that as a compliment. All the s*** they have to put up with...they have to be.

 

I agree we're very strong, always have and always will be. We're not strong because of the mess some of go through we're just naturally strong from the day we're born.

[pretty1982]

Originally posted by yes

i think the reason is a mixture of things. many black women are against interracial dating. not many white men seem attracted to black women. many black men seem attracted to white women. many white women (myself included!) are attracted to black men.

 

Some black women choose not date white men because some don't find them attractive or its hard to find that will date a black women. I'm a black women have dated and currently with a white man. Many white men find me attractive so there are tons of white men that find us attractive.

[pretty1982]

Originally posted by asdfg

As a white guy, I will have to say that the 3 main reasons many men dont go for black women is

 

 

1. Many black women tend to be overweight, especially when they get older. Plus most men arent too fond of females with thick bones, thats why men love asian women

 

Well, I'm a curvy girl and my man doesn't have a problem with it at all. There's many men white/black that think curvy/thick women are very attractive. Everyone has there own preference but don't think because that's not your preference that most men are also into stick then women.

 

2. Many black women seem to act very masculine. Men want women who are strong but not women who are gonna be arm wrestling and fighting with them.

Any many people say this because we're strong and that doesn't make us masculine in anyway. Not all black women are masculine and honestly I've seen more white women more masculine than us no offense but from what I've seen where I live it's true.

 

3. In terms of looks, majority of black women are in my opinion just flat out ugly. I have seen very few good looking black women and i live in new york city wheres theres plenty of black women. Most asian females i see are above average, and white / latino women are average, but most black women who look good are usually mixed with other ethnicities and just call themselves black.

 

You find black women unattractive in your immature saying "flat out ugly" that's because black women aren't your preference so your going to think that all black women are ugly.

[pretty1982]

Originally posted by Jeff

I think history, social status, wealth and education are secondary matters. Otherwise, how would you explain the attractiveness of black men in the eyes of white and a lot of non-black women, while you practically see little romantic interaction between black women with white men or other non-black men? I think the arguement goes true for the Asian gender disparity in interracial unions. In Europe, Canada, Australia, you observe the same trends. Of course there are exceptions to the rule, but generally I see this pattern

.

 

The only reason that I've seen black men more into white women because as I've heard and know for a fact that we're too strong for them. Also many other reasons but U don't want any aguements started so I'm not going to mention them. Believe it or not black women/whte men relationships/marriages are becoming very common now. I've been in many relationships with white men also other races but that's just my preference.

[pretty1982]

Originally posted by claudia

Many european men (white ) loves black women. Maybe American white males should loosen up . Don't judge . Anyways why look at race, i have dated many different enthic groups black ,asian and white and found that its not a race issue when it comes to love .

 

I've commented on the many posts here and this one s really good. It's true that European men find us very attractive and I agree that white men in the US seem to look at looks more than anything else. All of the white men I've dated didn't have a problem with my curvy body and beautiful brown skin at all.

[pretty1982]

Originally posted by Reckless

 

The original question was why black women seem to be at the bottom of the dating list and I have no problem with someone writing that in all honesty they find black women fat as houses and butt ugly. Maybe he has only met the fat ugly ones or maybe he can only see the ugly ones but I hate that we can only be polite when it comes to this issue. A black woman is at a disadvantage if she can be seen, not as a dark skinned variety of her sex but as a slogan and a cliché. Someone earlier said they 'respect black women but just are not sexually attracted to them'. It's hard to be attracted to a pair of swinging hips or perky breasts if they have 'ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OF SLAVERY' tattooed across them. When the fights are over and sex can be just that, only that, then maybe this discussion could take place without all the issues that make it a loaded gun. I don't know if that can every be the case...

 

Everyone has their own preference on what type a women or man that they want. Some of you males are just simply heartless, ignorant and sound very uneducated. When you say that black women seem to be at the bottom of the dating because all of them are fat and ugly that just plain stupid. Not every black women walking on this earth is fat and ugly. Even if some are that's not the reason black women don't date. In this case your referring to the reason white men don't look at black women as being attractive no matter what size or skin color they are. Myself I have a curvy/ thick body and brown skin I get no complaints from my white man or any oher men that find me attractive. In the white race there's also ugly and fat.

[pretty1982]

Originally posted by amerikajin

 

That's exactly what I've been trying to say. The fact that white men and black women don't marry is precisely do to the historical differences between the two segments of the population.

 

I clearly see that everyone here is so stuck on this no white man can ever been attracted, date or marry a black womsn. Here's a website on interracial dating/marriages among black women and white men. It's not extremely high like black men/white women relationships but it's does exist.

 

This website talks about black women/white men relationships are more common now.

http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1077/is_1_55/ai_57046411

[Silverspring]

I believe it boils down to social class differences. Sadly, your physical appearance and social behavior (mien) is associated with a certain social class. Most upper class neighbothoods at this day and age are still predominantly white, while a disproportionate percentage of blacks still live in the ghetto. In addition to the socio-economic differences, the prevalence of obesity is much greater among the lower class. When someone on this forum posted that most black women are fat, unfortunately, they are correct. While 1/3 of white women are obese, a whooping 50% of black women are obese and are most susceptible to heart disease. In the ghettos, obesity or "thickness" is considered attractive, possibly because by the time women in the ghettos turn 20, they've already given birth, and are left with excess fat. And black men in the ghettos are ignorant of health and social issues related to "thickness" and are convinced that excess fat is attractive. Hence, all you see in rap videos are overweight black women.

 

I think that if you're a thick black woman, you have a better shot at dating brothers because many of them have a preference for thick women. However, if you're slim and light-skinned, you may have a better shot with white and asian men because more of them prefer slender body types and you have an advantage with the light skin tone. As a well-mannered Japanese/African-American with a slim build and light skin, I get hit on THE LEAST by ghetto black males. In addition to thickness, ghetto brothers also favour the so-called strong black woman with attitude, and denounce women who are well-mannered like me. They say that I'm "too nice" because instead of flying off the handle and cussing people out over petty things, I treat people with consideracy and choose to speak with firmness when necessary. I come from an upper class Japanese household in Tokyo and my overall mien and physique is more in tune with white/asian men and black men who are often surrounded by white people due to their profession.

 

**Black men are popular with women of various ethnicities because they are rumored to be the most endowed and skilled in bed. Furthermore, when it comes down to the ultimate bad boys, ghetto black men take the cake.**

[Elmo]

Originally posted by Silverspring

I believe it boils down to social class differences. Sadly, your physical appearance and social behavior (mien) is associated with a certain social class. Most upper class neighbothoods at this day and age are still predominantly white, while a disproportionate percentage of blacks still live in the ghetto. In addition to the socio-economic differences, the prevalence of obesity is much greater among the lower class. When someone on this forum posted that most black women are fat, unfortunately, they are correct. While 1/3 of white women are obese, a whooping 50% of black women are obese and are most susceptible to heart disease. In the ghettos, obesity or "thickness" is considered attractive, possibly because by the time women in the ghettos turn 20, they've already given birth, and are left with excess fat. And black men in the ghettos are ignorant of health and social issues related to "thickness" and are convinced that excess fat is attractive. Hence, all you see in rap videos are overweight black women.

 

I think that if you're a thick black woman, you have a better shot at dating brothers because many of them have a preference for thick women. However, if you're slim and light-skinned, you may have a better shot with white and asian men because more of them prefer slender body types and you have an advantage with the light skin tone. As a well-mannered Japanese/African-American with a slim build and light skin, I get hit on THE LEAST by ghetto black males. In addition to thickness, ghetto brothers also favour the so-called strong black woman with attitude, and denounce women who are well-mannered like me. They say that I'm "too nice" because instead of flying off the handle and cussing people out over petty things, I treat people with consideracy and choose to speak with firmness when necessary. I come from an upper class Japanese household in Tokyo and my overall mien and physique is more in tune with white/asian men and black men who are often surrounded by white people due to their profession.

 

**Black men are popular with women of various ethnicities because they are rumored to be the most endowed and skilled in bed. Furthermore, when it comes down to the ultimate bad boys, ghetto black men take the cake.**

 

 

OMeffin'G! I waded through this entire thread...and the above...the last post was the one I agree with. (Not sure about the endowed thing...)

 

I think it is a class issue not a race issue.

 

I think that race is a thing older people still hang onto...but younger people are more influenced by the class issue.

 

My point is that race issues were culturally much more valid pre 1990's. It is now a class problem.

 

I was married to a eurasian. I am very waspy, he was very rich. Not proud of the fact, not bragging, the marriage was bad. Just....the classes matched and there was no problem. Except from some poor, uneducated people that would try to get my husband to clear their plates if he walked around a casual restaurant. It was kind of funny...he could have bought and sold them 1,000 times over, but because of his "look" they thought he was a servant. Their class didn't realize his class...because they were looking at his race...interesting.

 

Think it's different now.

 

I think some white women of the working class are attracted to strong black males. Strong MEN are appealing.

 

I think that some white males of the working class think that a black girl is a rung down on the class pole. Think this is sad schooling, parenting, being un-exposed to the real world.

 

I think all of the above is horse****...but goes on.

 

I imagine we are all evolving. My first crush was on this green eyed, black man...when I was 15. Think he made me realize how effin wonderful differences could be.

[XNemesisX]

Ok, I didn't read this whole thread just the last page so I will go back and read it all but I just had to comment on some of the things I read on this page.

 

I think that if you're a thick black woman, you have a better shot at dating brothers because many of them have a preference for thick women. However, if you're slim and light-skinned, you may have a better shot with white and asian men because more of them prefer slender body types and you have an advantage with the light skin tone

 

I'm not sure if this is true. I get hit on by black men a LOT. They seem to always comment on liking the blonde hair for some reason, don't know why.

 

I'm not thick at all. I do have a big butt though. Wonder if this has anything to do with it?

 

**Black men are popular with women of various ethnicities because they are rumored to be the most endowed and skilled in bed. Furthermore, when it comes down to the ultimate bad boys, ghetto black men take the cake.**

 

I have slept with 1 black guy. He didn't seem that much different from white guys, maybe a little bit bigger but boy he did have some rhythm

He wasn't full black though..I think he was a quarter white and pretty light skinned for a black guy. So, I don't know maybe most black guys are a lot more well-endowed than this particular guy was...

Ok..sorry if that was TMI.

 

As for the asian guys...no thanks They are always shorter than me LOL.

 

I don't care for light skin..or at least not the REALLY white skin

My preferred ethnicity is Latino for a man, or at least a white man with darker skin tone, or a good tan. I always go for the tall, black haired, medium-skin toned men.

 

Ok, but anyway....

[XNemesisX]

when it comes down to the ultimate bad boys, ghetto black men take the cake.**

 

True.

 

50 Cent..need I say more?

[XNemesisX]

Ugh..okay back to the original question. I didn't read all of this though because I am tired and couldn't get through all of it.

 

Why are black women left out of the interracial game?

 

Well, just my opinion here..but I think a LOT of people are intimadated by black women. They are thought to be really strong and stand up for themselves.

 

I hate to say it, but even I notice I get a little bit intimidated by black women..or at least a lot of the ones I know intimidate me. I just feel scared that if I pissed one of them off I would get my arse kicked...

 

This may also have something to do with the guy I mentioned above that I dated for a little while. His ex was also black and she HATED me and scared me pretty bad. They had a child together and she hated that he was seeing a white girl..she took it pretty personally I think. ok, she terrorized me actually and it was part of the reason I stopped seeing the guy. I don't want to generalize AT ALL though, but I think men of different ethnicities might be intimadated by black women..

 

As for white women and black men. I'm not sure if it has so much to do with the well-endowed factor as much as it does that they are sometimes easier to relate with. They might still be in a little bit of a subordinate position and women can relate to that I think. I'm not sure...

 

I do know that I can NEVER tell white guys that I try to date about the black guy I just talked about. White guys seem to not want to date a girl that has dated a black man. I think they feel like (sexually) they could never measure up. No pun intended.

[tokyo]

Originally posted by Silverspring

I believe it boils down to social class differences. Sadly, your physical appearance and social behavior (mien) is associated with a certain social class. Most upper class neighbothoods at this day and age are still predominantly white, while a disproportionate percentage of blacks still live in the ghetto. In addition to the socio-economic differences, the prevalence of obesity is much greater among the lower class. When someone on this forum posted that most black women are fat, unfortunately, they are correct. While 1/3 of white women are obese, a whooping 50% of black women are obese and are most susceptible to heart disease. In the ghettos, obesity or "thickness" is considered attractive, possibly because by the time women in the ghettos turn 20, they've already given birth, and are left with excess fat. And black men in the ghettos are ignorant of health and social issues related to "thickness" and are convinced that excess fat is attractive. Hence, all you see in rap videos are overweight black women.

 

I think that if you're a thick black woman, you have a better shot at dating brothers because many of them have a preference for thick women. However, if you're slim and light-skinned, you may have a better shot with white and asian men because more of them prefer slender body types and you have an advantage with the light skin tone. As a well-mannered Japanese/African-American with a slim build and light skin, I get hit on THE LEAST by ghetto black males. In addition to thickness, ghetto brothers also favour the so-called strong black woman with attitude, and denounce women who are well-mannered like me. They say that I'm "too nice" because instead of flying off the handle and cussing people out over petty things, I treat people with consideracy and choose to speak with firmness when necessary. I come from an upper class Japanese household in Tokyo and my overall mien and physique is more in tune with white/asian men and black men who are often surrounded by white people due to their profession.

 

**Black men are popular with women of various ethnicities because they are rumored to be the most endowed and skilled in bed. Furthermore, when it comes down to the ultimate bad boys, ghetto black men take the cake.**

 

That was indeed an interesting post. I remember hearing during a lecture that the trend in the future will go towards a stronger emphasis on class than on race in the course of globalization. I think the speaker also said that people will be more able to move up the social ladder due to their accomplishments and their merits than because of their racial background.

[ggallin13]

Most of the guys I know would LOVE to go out with a black woman, they just never meet any. I have dated a black woman before, actually, but I met her through work at a bank. Where we happen to hang out isn't a lure for black women (seedy dive bars, basically).

 

I think whether or not black women get approached by white men is dependant on their subculture. Not many white men would ask out a black woman that was really into hip hop, just as I have never seen a black man with a punker white chick. Sure, there are white hip hop guys and black guy punkers, but they are already approaching women in their scene, if you know what I am saying. Just like bankers approach bankers, bikers approach bikers, etc.

 

For the people I now race has little to do with whether or not someone is hot or not. My sister dates a Tongan. She's really lucky, as he is a great guy no matter what race he is. Same is true for anyone.

[mental_traveller]

Personally I'm quite keen on black women in terms of looks, and have had some good times with ones I've dated in the past. But let's be honest here, skin colour & race is hardly the #1 issue that defines a person. If you get along well and have physical chemistry, then race and even different cultural background generally isn't going to make or break the relationship. In fact, differences like this can in many ways make things more interesting together. So if you see a black girl or asian guy that you like, then instead of freaking out about it, why not just go up and ask them out? Remember you are dealing with an individual, not a whole group - for all you know, they might be totally into you.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by mental_traveller

Remember you are dealing with an individual, not a whole group - for all you know, they might be totally into you.

how can u say that with a straigt face, MENTAL_TRAVELLER??? you know as well as i do that if you marry someone you marry everything about them. their family, culture, heritage, religion, background, credit rating, etc.....

[whichwayisup]

It's like marrying someone Jewish. You're not marrying the person, it's their heritage, their culture, family and all the regular baggage that comes with familys...Black, white, Jewish, Italian, Greek, whatever, it's all the same thing!

 

Marry for love, who cares about the rest...It will fall into place eventually!! And if it doesn't, it's something to laugh about over a glass of wine! Family dynamtics! Gotta love it.