Would this still be considered abuse?

[KevinDuff]

I'm uncertain if this would fall under the abuse category. Everything seems alright in my relationship. She is not the jealous type that constantly checks on cell phone and gets along with my family member.

 

However, the only issue is sometimes she slaps me whenever we get into a normal argument like every single couple has once in a while. I counted this as the 8th time it happened. It's mainly if I strongly disagree with her about something

 

Sometimes it's followed by an ''I'm sorry'' while other times she claims to be on her period.

 

Or should I disregard this since it's only a slap (though sometimes it does hurt, depending on how hard she slaps)? Is this typical because I never had this happening in my 2 previous relationships.

 

Any ideas.....

Edited May 29, 2010 by KevinDuff

[BB07]

Any physical contact such as slapping is labeled as physical abuse.

 

In your case it shows a lack of maturity and being unable to control her actions when she is angry.

 

You would not slap or hit her when you are angry.......right?

 

 

It's not healthy to be in a relationship with someone who has such anger issues, and don't let her tell you........ahhhh it's just a slap. That's BS!

[KevinDuff]

You would not slap or hit her when you are angry.......right?

No I would not. I have never hit a woman in my life nor ever will.

It's not healthy to be in a relationship with someone who has such anger issues, and don't let her tell you........ahhhh it's just a slap. That's BS!

Thank you for your input. I haven't really thought about it that way.

You see, in some films it's consider normal for a woman to slap a man when annoyed or angry. While we were at a theater I recalled one of my buddies saying that's what you get if you upset your woman.

 

I honestly don't think it's my fault whenever she gets upset. If I were to inform a friend or someone else, the first question they probably would be asking is what I did/say to make her angry.

[BB07]

No I would not. I have never hit a woman in my life nor ever will.

Thank you for your input. I haven't really thought about it that way.

You see, in some films it's consider normal for a woman to slap a man when annoyed or angry. While we were at a theater I recalled one of my buddies saying that's what you get if you upset your woman.

 

I honestly don't think it's my fault whenever she gets upset. If I were to inform a friend or someone else, the first question they probably would be asking is what I did/say to make her angry.

 

Kevin.......slapping someone is NEVER OK, regardless of what you did that got her that angry. Don't let her fool you into thinking that ohhh it's just a slap. She is an adult and there is no excuse for her letting herself get that far out of control. Tell her that she needs to address this issue because it is domestic abuse and don't let her or your friends fool you into thinking it is anything else. Tell her to imagine herself as the one being slapped.

 

I suggest......you put a firm boundary in place and tell her that you will not tolerate being hit........and if she ever hits you again that you are done with her. Please stick to it.......OK?

[sugarmomma]

She doesn't have a right to disrespect you by physically assaulting you. I would never think of doing that to a man I love. I don't believe in solving problems with violence.

 

After a while you will be treated like her son, instead of her man.

 

Set a boundary, make it firm and non negotiable.

[freestyle]

Even if it doesn't hurt----it's the intent behind it---it's intended to humiliate a person.

 

Humiliation is a form of emotional abuse----which leaves deeper, longer-lasting scars than physical abuse.

 

Don't allow it..........

[Ronni_W]

Kevin,

You could also ask yourself what you would be making of this situation if the genders were reversed: Would you find it acceptable, on any level, for a guy to be slapping a girl? Even if she was acting all crazy-making? Would it make it okay if he put it down to an increase in his testosterone levels?

 

It's equally important for men not to let women get away with ignorant double-standards, is the point I am hoping to make.

 

Also not to let women get away with any crap using "I'm on my period" as their excuse. If she's gonna do that, tell her you have no intention of spending even a minute with her during it.

You see, in some films it's consider normal for a woman to slap a man when annoyed or angry.

In some films, it's also "considered normal" to torture characters mercilessly or blast them to Kingdom Come, when they piss off some other character in the movie. Does NOT make it okay to do to real people in real life.

While we were at a theater I recalled one of my buddies saying that's what you get if you upset your woman.

Your buddy's ideas about what men can and should expect from women are deeply distorted! Maybe he would tolerate his woman slapping him around...but that is his own issue...for which you might suggest he'd want to get therapy.

 

His ideas about what is an appropriate response to one's own feelings of upset (or frustration, anger, disappointment, jealousy, etc.), are similarly distorted. Self-management is necessary regardless of one's gender. Don't you think?

[KevinDuff]

Sorry for the delay. I was out partying with my buddies and apart from that, I had to study for an exam.

I suggest......you put a firm boundary in place and tell her that you will not tolerate being hit........and if she ever hits you again that you are done with her. Please stick to it.......OK?

I actually did had a serious talk with her yesterday after she end up doing it again. It will be over next time it happens again as I had enough.

If she's going to act like a child with tantrums well then I'm not going to babysit her.

[KevinDuff]

She doesn't have a right to disrespect you by physically assaulting you. I would never think of doing that to a man I love. I don't believe in solving problems with violence.

 

After a while you will be treated like her son, instead of her man.

 

Set a boundary, make it firm and non negotiable.

I did yesterday. Hopefully it gets the message. I'll break up if she slaps me again. I'm not her child to be reprimanded or slap.

[KevinDuff]

Kevin,

You could also ask yourself what you would be making of this situation if the genders were reversed: Would you find it acceptable, on any level, for a guy to be slapping a girl? Even if she was acting all crazy-making? Would it make it okay if he put it down to an increase in his testosterone levels?

No it would be completely unacceptable. I would advice the girl in that situation to break up immediately and don't come back to him. If by any chance she still wants to work it out in that case then the guy would have to take anger management classes. No excuses at all.

His ideas about what is an appropriate response to one's own feelings of upset (or frustration, anger, disappointment, jealousy, etc.), are similarly distorted. Self-management is necessary regardless of one's gender. Don't you think?

The more I think about it, the more I'm questioning the way we were raised. Way back into our school years, the girls could literally get away with almost everything. However, had any us reacted into such manner (even if she got into your face or almost went physical on you) then we would pay the price. Why? What about the girls that started the trouble? I don't see how that's fair.

 

Now I think no one has the right to disrespect anyone.