Losing First Love

[Curtis4015]

I was dating this girl for about 7 months and she was going away to school..She told me she did not want anything before she left but i fell for her and she did the same...I was at a photo shot and this girl asked me for her number so i gave it to her thinking nothing of it while she called me and we hung out and well i did not mention anything to either of them because i dident think anything was going to happen well both of them took it as though we were going out so after a football game i had a few friends over and one of the girls was with me the one i was dating for 7 months and the other one came over kinda spying on me well the one left and the only followed her home and they talked and both came back over i told one of them to leave the one i met at a photo shoot the other one lets call her Laura the one i was dating while it was rocky but we got thought it knowing that it was going to get all better while this girl that lives down the street came down and we talked for ten mins and then i left and went to pick up laura to take her to a basketball game not thinking anything of it i got an e mail from this girl saying how much fun she had hanging out and i sent her one back saying the same while not saying anything to Laura before Laura and i met i had a girlfriend for 3 years it was a though realtionship and i was abused meantally and physically and i was so happy to get out of i almost think i sorta jumped into the other one to fast with Laura well this girl and i met up one night my x and we had sex and right after i just looked at my self and said why the hell did i do this so i just said i wasent with her because my x told Laura that we did and well the truth came out in the long run what should i do i love Laura do i give her time and space then try to talk to her again or do i give Up???

[StarrXdLvr]

Curtis,

 

It was kind of hard to read your message, but am I right in assuming that you a) lied to Laura b) cheated on her at least twice- once with your ex and once by going out with the girl from the photo shoot?

 

If so, before you even think about contacting Laura, you need to figure out what it is that you want. If you feel so bad about the situation with Laura, if you really regret doing the things that you did...why did you do them? I don't think you're being completely honest with yourself. Obviously you're not feeling fulfilled in any of these relationships, otherwise you wouldn't be dealing with so many women simultaneously.

 

Laura is probably very upset with you right now, understandably. Give her at least 3-4 days to cool off, and yourself time to think, and then call her. If she doesn't want to see you, accept that. At most, you can send her an email explaining how you feel, apologizing, etc. and leave it up to her. If she agrees to see you, be completely honest with her and tell her what's been going on in your head- concerns, insecurities, etc. Ultimately, the decision rests with her whether or not she can ever trust you again and whether she wants to give you a second chance. If she wants to be left alone, you have to respect that. You screwed up, and at worst, you learned a valuable lesson about honesty and fidelity.

[Curtis4015]

Originally posted by StarrXdLvr

Curtis,

 

It was kind of hard to read your message, but am I right in assuming that you a) lied to Laura b) cheated on her at least twice- once with your ex and once by going out with the girl from the photo shoot?

 

If so, before you even think about contacting Laura, you need to figure out what it is that you want. If you feel so bad about the situation with Laura, if you really regret doing the things that you did...why did you do them? I don't think you're being completely honest with yourself. Obviously you're not feeling fulfilled in any of these relationships, otherwise you wouldn't be dealing with so many women simultaneously.

 

Laura is probably very upset with you right now, understandably. Give her at least 3-4 days to cool off, and yourself time to think, and then call her. If she doesn't want to see you, accept that. At most, you can send her an email explaining how you feel, apologizing, etc. and leave it up to her. If she agrees to see you, be completely honest with her and tell her what's been going on in your head- concerns, insecurities, etc. Ultimately, the decision rests with her whether or not she can ever trust you again and whether she wants to give you a second chance. If she wants to be left alone, you have to respect that. You screwed up, and at worst, you learned a valuable lesson about honesty and fidelity.