Love my man have concerns for the future..

[lovebugbaby]

I've been with my guy for 6 years..it is long distance usa/canada. We do a lot of communication, and going back and forth it slowed down over this past year because his mom has cancer. Over the six years he always took good care of me I was having some financial troubles due to the loss of my car, and he helped pay many things over the years. I am grateful and appreciative to have such a hardworking loving man. I worry for our future because when I ask him about it what he sees in the future and what he wants. He says that he is working on the future so we can get there and he is trying to make life easier for everyone. I said everyone? he said you and family. I feel he must feel so much stress, I told him I can handle my own money now and do not give me anything unless it was a gesture of love or a surprise, and that Id like to contribute to our future too and the built up bills.

 

The problem is he has said money is the issue for years, so I have no idea if hes just going to ever be ready for more with me. I know money was and is hard, but I am more than willing to work on the money together and work what was broke there. The thing is the distance, and for us to really be together requires a visa and that means an engagement. Ive got no hint of this, just we are working on our future. I know he loves me and cares for me but maybe hes not ready, and Im not being given any indication of when ready for him will be. I have recently asked about a year visitor visa to stay with him, bringing my own funds so that we can have some time together and support each other and just see where we are going. I am now waiting on an answer hopeful soon on his feelings towards this. ( I feel if he doesnt even want to do the visitor visa, then what is he saying he doesnt want us to be in the flesh so I hope for a good reply here some time soon).

 

I love my man a lot and hes the right man for me, but only when its right for him too I dont believe in pressure. I am being supportive of him and his mom, although I'm being put last on priorities its rough though but I remain understanding. I don't know if he wants this EVER like offiical really US or will he say money is always the issue or something I even told him itll be easier with me there less money spent, but he goes on about money and work.. But the point remains for us to be together official it takes a visa which means engagement...I'm not in a rush but I also want to have a clear outlook as to if he plans for me to just sit here..and wait and wait ..Now I will note he is loyal and he waits just like I do.

 

I am also going this summer (in which i did pay) after a long time of us not seeing each other some months..to see about whats going on and really give him a cheer up about his mom.

 

Age: I am 28 he is 30.

Edited May 31, 2010 by lovebugbaby

[alaskafire08]

6 yrs

+2 countries

+0 commitment

+0 real answers

______________

You do the math

 

Your trip to see him this summer will be the deal maker or breaker. Good Luck~ (guess you could both move to Niagara Falls!)

Edited May 31, 2010 by alaskafire08

[impz]

I think it is not too bad of a suggestion by pushing him to give at least a time frame for you two to end together. No matter how stable/reliable this guy is perceived to be by you, the fact that he has not set a distinct time for you two to come together is a huge red flag in my opinion. I believe that LDRs need to have a definite end time when you start off, so you have something to work on as you move.

 

Despite being a little mean, alaskafire08 does hit the spot. With 0 real answers and 0 committment, you need to push your case further and ask him. It's ok if you are not his first priority due to personal issues, but he got to think further than "money is an issue" kind of BS answer.