plm098 Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 I met this guy when I got a new job at a restaurant. We clicked pretty early on, constantly joking around and cracking each other up. I had so much fun with him that going to work would actually be the highlight of my day. I truly only thought of him as a friend at first, so when he started to act more flirty, asking if I had a boyfriend and complimenting me, I started to distance myself. Everyone would comment to me about how he liked me, and I didn't want to lead him on, so I tried to make it clear that I wasn't interested in him as anything more than just a friend. I ruined that, though, when he came to a party I had at my apartment at school, and after drinking all night we ended up hooking up. The next day at work he waited for me for two hours at the restaurant when he was done with his shift for me to finish. When I left, though, I walked out with a friend, and he just told me he would talk to me later. He called me that night and told me how much he likes me, that he can't stop thinking about me. I told him I was sorry, I drank too much, I didn't think it was a good idea for us to start anything because we worked together. He told me that was ok, but then he started texted me every morning saying "good morning" and every night with "goodnight" and randomly in between asking me what I was doing or even just to tell me he was thinking about me. My friends all thought I was crazy for blowing him off, they convinced me to give him a chance. One night when he asked me out I decided I would just go. We went out to eat and had an amazing time. We started dating. He was so sweet and so respectful all of the time. He acted like he always wanted to be with me. When I was sick and tired after work, and I told him I just wanted to go home, he begged me to come over his house, where i laid down and he just sang to me until I fell asleep. When I had a paper to write for school, he insisted that I go to his house and write it. He promised he wouldn't talk or distract me, said he would find something else to do, that it would be nice just to be together. A couple months in he asked me if I thought I might be falling in love with him. I told him I thought it was too early, that we were still getting to know each other. He told me that was fine, he would wait, but he loved me so much, "you have no idea." A couple weeks after that he asked me to confirm that I was his girlfriend. I told him that there were no other guys, but there was a possibility of him moving within the year, and it scared me to start a real relationship with someone knowing that. We dropped it, but then he brought it up again a couple weeks later. I thought it was ridiculous and unfair to him to continue what we were doing but refuse to say it was a real relationship. I told him yes, he told me he was the happiest person in the world. I told him I loved him a few days after that. Everything was amazing, he said things to me that I would roll my eyes at if I heard it in a movie. He told me every part of him belonged to me, he told me he knows now that I am the only person he's ever truly loved, he told me wanted to be with me forever. He bought me a gold bracelet one day, for absolutely no reason, only a few weeks into our relationship, told me I should expect surprises like that all the time. About a month ago I was at his house, exhausted from a miserable day at work, dealing with the anniversary of the death of a loved one. Again he had to convince me to come over. He was being so sweet, and so seemingly genuine, that I started to cry, and for two hours he just held me and I cried and we talked. He told me he wants to always be the one to make me happy when I'm hurt, that making me happy was the most important thing to him now, that no matter what I should always come to him because he wants to always be there for me. He made me feel so much better, I drove home feeling like I was the luckiest girl in the world. Then I realized he left his phone in my car. I had no clue how to work it, I was trying to find a number to call him at when I completely stumbled upon text messages by accident. I saw a bunch from a girl, telling him how much she loves him. He denied it completely, told me the girl was just crazy. I found out from her that she was his girlfriend. That they had been together the entire time we were, the entire time I knew him, and months before that. He quit his job where we worked together. I haven't seen or talked to him in about three weeks. I'm still so confused. I know this was ridiculously long, but I feel like my friends must be sick of me talking about this. I'm so hurt still, so angry, so embarrassed. I have so many questions that will never be answered. I don't understand why he had to make everything between us so serious if he was just using me. I don't understand how he could say the things he said to me. I want revenge, but there's nothing I can do. I want to move on, but it's not getting any easier. I want answers, but I can't have them. And I hate myself for it, but I want him back. I miss him so much. I've never laughed as hard with another guy as I did with him, I've never been so comfortable, I've never been so trusting. And that makes me sick. How could I be such a terrible judge of character? How can I ever trust someone again? How can I just get OVER him? I'm not sure what advice I'm even looking for exactly. If anyone's even bothered to read all of this, I guess I just want some help moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 Hi PLM, What happened to you is you were hit by a very charming guy who possibly knows exactly what he is doing. How could you have known, so try not to beat yourself up with "I should have known, I am a bad judge of character"...in matters such as these it's so easy to blame ourselves because if "we" are the problem then somehow we can fix whatever has gone on in the R. Please do move on as you are worth it....hey, my thoughts and prayers are with you....k....great big hugs to you ...please let us know how you are doing....welcome to LS!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
BlkAzian Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 Im am going through a divorce from being married nearly ten yrs....Dont beat your self up You got your whole life ahead of you.... We will be happy again... Its going to take time... How would u know this guy was trying to be a PLAYA....but what goes around comes around... Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted June 2, 2010 Share Posted June 2, 2010 I am sorry you are hurting (hug) How old are you? How old is he? The good news is you don't have to see him anymore at work! And in time, you will stop being angry at yourself for being human. He lied to you. He misled you. He took advantage of you. That is on HIM, not on you. ((hug)) Link to post Share on other sites
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