Krytie TV Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 Not really sure where this fit best. Job may or may not come, but it would be the plan to have full time job ASAP. I have read and heard all of the stern warnings that nothing will ever be like the first 3 months of having a new baby, let alone 2. This, combined with the fact that I have a problem with getting distracted by real-life when it comes to being in school, has me wondering if I should take the fall semester off. I would be starting the second year of my Ph.D. program in September and that would put me in Dissertation phase the next fall. If I take the semester off, that could end up adding a full year to my timeline because of the effect of the summer semester. Even without a job, would I be insane to go to school full time with twins coming home anytime after Sept. 1? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 What are your wife's plans after the birth of your twins? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Krytie TV Posted June 1, 2010 Author Share Posted June 1, 2010 She'll be staying home until she heals. It is clear that she will be having a c-section and so will need 8-10 weeks after birth to get back on her feet in full force. At that point, as long as I can pull in a modest income she will be staying home or working half-time at most. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 BF is a twin, and his dad was a road warrior for work leading up to his mother gave birth, AND for the first 18 months afterward... it was very, very hard for her alone, but that was long before modern conveniences. I think you can definitely handle the job and school, but the real question is: do you want to? Do you want to focus more time on school than your newborns? I think if you did both work and school, you'd find yourself regretting the time not spent with the babies.... School will still be there. Their first crawl, word, steps, etc., won't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Krytie TV Posted June 2, 2010 Author Share Posted June 2, 2010 C'mon all. Anyone other than SG (love ya ) have some insight? Anyone with kids? Twins? Is it as purely chaotic the first three months as they say it is? Link to post Share on other sites
Stung Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 (edited) Honestly, the first three months are often a nightmare, particularly if your wife is going to be out for the first few weeks recovering. I had a c-section, and the first couple of months of my son's life were a haze of painkillers and pain and sleep-deprivation. He was not an easy baby, up every hour on the hour, colicky, needing to be rocked and walked with constantly, up and down the hall for hours. Now, not every baby is like that--but it's not exactly uncommon, either. There are no real 'modern conveniences' that work to calm a colicky newborn who can't sleep, except sometimes the car (my son had to be driven around for hours sometimes, we'd be driving in circles at four in the morning). The adjustment period to parenting is intense, and exhausting, and exhilirating, and frustrating, and wonderful but just overall hard. It's very difficult to explain--it really is one of those things that someone who hasn't been through it simply cannot understand. And frankly I can't imagine doing it with two, simultaneously, the nights would be murder. I know two couples who handled having twins, one couple handled it by employing a nanny and a night nurse, and the other couple one worked day shift and the other night so there was always someone up anyway. My husband went back to work after two weeks out, four days of which were spent at the hospital. He works very long hours, but presumably not quite the kind of hours you'd be putting in working full-time and going to school/studying for your PhD, if I read that right. It was very hard on me, although obviously we all got through it. It's an unpredictable thing, ultimately. Nobody can really tell you what to expect. I was afraid I was going to have PPD for various reasons including two past experiences with clinical depression, but nope, I was fine. Just tired and stressed, but no problem bonding. The first contact with your baby/ies will probably change some of your preconcieved notions, so far that's the biggest commonality I've noted between new parents. Things just never go the way you thought they would, and you can count on everything being harder and weirder than you thought it would be. But you can also count on everybody surviving it, somehow. I'm not trying to scare you. If you and your wife are both high-energy people, well-organized, who adapt to major life changes readily you might be able to handle it all at one time with no major problems. If you will be getting a lot of help from friends/family, that changes things too--I didn't get any help from friends/family until my son was several months old and things had already settled down a bit. I was also kind of a lower-energy, laid-back, only half-organized type so a needy newborn was a real shock to my system! In the end of course you have to be practical about this: in an ideal world you would be able to take the time with your wife and babies, but while it's all very nice for someone on the internet to say 'stay home for the babies, what's three months matter with school/work you can always pick it up again,' of course you know the reality of your school/work/life/financial situation and we do not. And whichever way it goes you are gonna love those babies and do the best you can for them...good luck!! Try cross-posting this in Parenting for more responses. Edited June 5, 2010 by Stung Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 Wuh? When did you get married?!! Link to post Share on other sites
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