What next

[Doing it Since '78]

I was against a lawyer too, but the more I thought about it the more I wanted the comfort of knowing that I was legally protected--I had questions that I couldn't find answers to online. My divorce is only costing $700 including court fees.

 

Yeah me too, until at our first divorce hearing the broad shows up with TWO lawyers-and I am sitting there like a sop mouthed mule, looking foolish, convincing the judge for a continuance in order to get a lawyer for myself

 

This is after we both decided no lawyers- THEY WILL LIE, CHEAT, AND STEAL

 

Start protecting yourself, stop asking her a million questions, get a good game plan, stick to it and keep it moving-MAN THE **** UP AND KICK HER CHEATING ARSE TO THE CURB!!!

 

And bro, sorry to break it to you, but the affair(s) are not OVER, just maybe on pause. But trust me homeboy, once she gets her own pad, it might not be that joker, but there will be another bum sniffing around, and she will allow it, with a smile, in front of your daughter-AGAIN!!!

 

And either way, she still doesn't want you and probably didn't for a long time, she just bided her time (at your emotional expense) until she could make a move-If the kid she banged had his $h!t together, Please beleive she would have left you (and maybe her kid) a looooong time ago

 

And what good does giving this kid a ole fashioned arse whipping do? NONE outside of you either doing serious damage to him (or vice versa) or you locked the **** up outside of your country, for him doing what a 23 year is supposed to do? He has a chick driving down to give him some a$$, do you think he wouldn't take it? He isn't your problem-SHE IS

 

Closure begins and ends with you, no matter what she or the POSOM say, it still wont be good enough for you-LET IT GO BROTHER!!!!!

Edited September 2, 2010 by Doing it Since '78

[What_Next]

Doing it Since '78, thanks for the response. Despite the fact that she did this recently I cannot be as bitter as you appear to be. You obviously were raked over the coals in your divorce. I can only hope not to be.

 

I am not "kicking her to curb", how could I do that, she paid the rent as much as I did for this month. Our 60 day notice has been sent in anyway, so she gets to stay until Nov 1. I am leaving on Oct 1, I AM divorciing her. Those facts don't change.

 

I will not get bitter, I will not go around for the rest of my days hating women, why would I? I LOVE the female of our species, faults and all. That's not to say I want to fall for one again, that won't happen, but I won't turn into a mean woman hater either.

 

You say MAN THE ___ UP? Huh, really? She is still the mother of our child and I won't intentionally "throw her out". Besides if she went, she'd take our child as our child does not want to stay with me right now.

 

I appreciate what you are saying, but you have chosen a different path than I have. I am more than enough man to handle myself if need be. I am taking the calm, cool role at this point.

 

I will NOT be contacting the OM. I will not be visiting him. Now he doesn't know this and he is running in fear and I'll leave it that way. If I did go down there the result WOULD NOT be good for me. Nor him for that matter.

 

As to whether or not she does this again, well if there is no marriage then how could she cheat right? I will have to learn to trust that she would NEVER involve our child again because if she did there would be hell to pay.

 

My first step is to get out, to get my own place. We will draw up a seperation agreement in the meantime though. It will serve as a jumping off point.

[Doing it Since '78]

Doing it Since '78, thanks for the response. Despite the fact that she did this recently I cannot be as bitter as you appear to be. You obviously were raked over the coals in your divorce. I can only hope not to be.

 

I am not "kicking her to curb", how could I do that, she paid the rent as much as I did for this month. Our 60 day notice has been sent in anyway, so she gets to stay until Nov 1. I am leaving on Oct 1, I AM divorciing her. Those facts don't change.

 

I will not get bitter, I will not go around for the rest of my days hating women, why would I? I LOVE the female of our species, faults and all. That's not to say I want to fall for one again, that won't happen, but I won't turn into a mean woman hater either.

 

You say MAN THE ___ UP? Huh, really? She is still the mother of our child and I won't intentionally "throw her out". Besides if she went, she'd take our child as our child does not want to stay with me right now.

 

I appreciate what you are saying, but you have chosen a different path than I have. I am more than enough man to handle myself if need be. I am taking the calm, cool role at this point.

 

I will NOT be contacting the OM. I will not be visiting him. Now he doesn't know this and he is running in fear and I'll leave it that way. If I did go down there the result WOULD NOT be good for me. Nor him for that matter.

 

As to whether or not she does this again, well if there is no marriage then how could she cheat right? I will have to learn to trust that she would NEVER involve our child again because if she did there would be hell to pay.

 

My first step is to get out, to get my own place. We will draw up a seperation agreement in the meantime though. It will serve as a jumping off point.

 

Dude,

 

Do me a favor and look up my story under my name- I'm not as bitter or got raked as much as it may seem- I got both homes, majority custody, and child support which I had to recently go back to court for because of non-payment on her part, not a big deal when tax times come around uncle sam has my back

 

I have two kids with her, and I unfortunatley have very little respect for my STBXW, hopefully you are able to detach away so you don't have to be in the same boat, however I fear your "calmness" will be your down fall-

 

Act swift and hard or lay down and die, either one but remember your resposnibility to your daughter, and it's not to allow your wife to rip and run over Northeastern America, toting your daughter to some strangers house she met on the INTERNET! How deranged is that, and how effing scary is it?

 

So yes did I throw my WAW out-YEP

Did it hurt like hell to do so-YEP!

Was it absolutley necesarry in order to ensure my and my babies survival-YEP

Would I do it all over again-HELL YEP!

 

It called survival bro, this chick has kicked you dead in your a$$ since at least June of this year, do not let it continue bro-

 

You have only seen the tip of eh iceberg, the laws are designed to protect your wife, not you- Use them to your advantage while the iron is still hot- Not too mention in my state, once you have had sex with your spouse after cheating it voids out the adultry so be careful where you stick your rod-But Good Luck bro!

[What_Next]

So far she is really showing her remorse for her actions, she has 100% came clean and I know all the details. That has helped to a certain degree.

 

However, it is so hard to get it out of my head. I can think of little else and like it or not until Oct 1 I have to live there. I find myself thinking of it almost every day. I know that this will decrease when I get my own place and have my space.

 

She knows 2 facts right now, 1 I am leaving, so is she. We are leaving our place that we've had for almost 10 years. Secondly, I AM divorcing her no matter what. She'll not get to keep my name. That is happening and there isn't a thing she can do to change it.

 

As time passes I am sure it will get better. I need to get a routine and stick with it. I am somewhat obsessed with finding other woman to talk to and perhaps even sleep with, my reasoning is that it will take my mind off of things. I know it won't and it is a mistake and I likely won't even go through with it, but that doesn't stop me thinking of it.

[What_Next]

A further update on this one. My STBX is aware of LS. She is also aware of this thread. In fact she read the entire thing last night.

 

She will NOT post in it though. She has decided to start her own:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t244828

 

Now, back to mine, could anyone in their right minds say why I should even consider a reconciliation? I am still moving out, I need my own space. I am no longer pre-occupied with finding another woman to sleep with, although for conversation I still am.

 

I look around our place and see 20 years worth of memories and almost 10 years in this place and heck we even got married in this place. It is all going to be torn down in the next 2 months. I get to lose my entire life style because of something she has done.

[tojaz]

Now, back to mine, could anyone in their right minds say why I should even consider a reconciliation? I am still moving out, I need my own space. I am no longer pre-occupied with finding another woman to sleep with, although for conversation I still am.

 

Well, that depends on you W_N. There are plenty of reasons why you should and just as many why you shouldn't. Which side of that particular fence your going to be on lies solely in your hands.

 

There was a point in mine, that I thought we were going to reconcile. I didn't know if she cheated, but she probably did, but I had a decision to make, if I could forgive the unforgivable. I spent a long time thinking about that, about the betrayal, and the hurt, but I also thought a lot about all the time together my own house full of memories.

 

The best answer that I could come up with, was that My wife and my marriage meant enough to me that I could try, knowing full well that I would probably be setting myself up for hell, but I had always told her i would walk through hell for her anyway. I didn't like it, I was angry, heartbroken, and flat out messed up, but what was done couldn't be taken back and i truly believed that if the right conditions existed and we both could learn from what happened that we could work through it and make a new and stronger marriage. Forgive, all though I knew I could never forget.

 

I know I'm in the minority here, but I do believe that Marriage can survive infidelity, but it takes two partners willing to really look at what happened and make an honest effort to fix it.

 

As you know, I never got the chance, but it does happen, its happened here. Is there a reason why to consider it? Yes, shes your wife, and theres a lot of history. Should you pursue it? Thats for you to decide.

 

TOJAZ

[You Go Girl]

Hey Whatnext, I didn't catch up on your entire thread, but I did read the last couple recent pages. I wish I had the hours to read all the pages, but I don't.

So you are going to divorce her no matter what. That changes what I will say in the future on her thread.

I didn't realize this when I posted to her thread.

 

Could anyone say why you should consider a reconciliation?

I agree with Tojaz. That's entirely up to you and your feelings, not your w's feelings, not anyone on LS.

 

Give yourself whatever time is needed to get past the pain. Separation during this time is perhaps the best idea, I can't disagree.

 

I think much of both of you that you are at least willing to keep communicating because I think it hurts the kids most of all when parents fail to communicate, no matter who did what. I also think that it is healing for both of you.

You're both brave for not running from the truth this time.

[hopesndreams]

A further update on this one. My STBX is aware of LS. She is also aware of this thread. In fact she read the entire thing last night.

 

She will NOT post in it though. She has decided to start her own:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t244828

 

Now, back to mine, could anyone in their right minds say why I should even consider a reconciliation? I am still moving out, I need my own space. I am no longer pre-occupied with finding another woman to sleep with, although for conversation I still am.

 

I look around our place and see 20 years worth of memories and almost 10 years in this place and heck we even got married in this place. It is all going to be torn down in the next 2 months. I get to lose my entire life style because of something she has done.

 

Think about your future and that of your child. What will make you happy, is what will give your child happiness.

 

The biggest question is, if you can find it in your heart to forgive her for the atrocious crime against you, will she thank you by doing it all over again?

 

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

 

To live in fear or not. Your choice. You, and your child will have to live with your decision.

[You Go Girl]

The biggest question is, if you can find it in your heart to forgive her for the atrocious crime against you, will she thank you by doing it all over again?

 

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

 

To live in fear or not. Your choice. You, and your child will have to live with your decision.

 

I've always hated the above bolded cliche.

So all people who forgive for love with a person more than once are fools? If people didn't forgive, not a marriage would survive on the planet.

[lkjh]

I've always hated the above bolded cliche.

So all people who forgive for love with a person more than once are fools? If people didn't forgive, not a marriage would survive on the planet.

 

Forgiving certain things yes, but cheating is not something small

[hopesndreams]

I've always hated the above bolded cliche.

So all people who forgive for love with a person more than once are fools? If people didn't forgive, not a marriage would survive on the planet.

 

I've noticed you take great delight in pointing out everyone's posts that you don't agree with and then bash them. Yes, bash them!

 

YGG, you're an intelligent lady, don't stoop so low.

 

You haven't been a BS so you do not have the know-with-all you try to make yourself out to have.

[You Go Girl]

I've noticed you take great delight in pointing out everyone's posts that you don't agree with and then bash them. Yes, bash them!

 

YGG, you're an intelligent lady, don't stoop so low.

 

You haven't been a BS so you do not have the know-with-all you try to make yourself out to have.

 

Naw, not bashing. Why wouldn't I point out a post i don't agree with? Bashing would be a stretch though, and if you think I came across as bashing, then I want you to know that was not my intention. There is validity to your argument too.

Thanks for considering me intelligent.

How do you know I haven't been a BS? I have...in my relationship's unique way. I know with certainty my first H cheated, at least a long term EA, that I truly believe went somewhat to a PA. I have one weird thing I have never figured out (text messages on his cell) with my second H that sure looked like it was the time/location to a motel room only one year into our marriage. Then there was the porn addiction, which sure felt like cheating with all the lies, deceit, obsession, sneakiness, lust, etc.

 

I understand you were a BS, hopes. Do you think sometimes that may cloud your judgment if you believe that every BS should dump their spouse? Each situation is different, isn't it? Or should we condemn all cheaters, period, no exceptions, no second chances?

I can never take such an absolute view, because I believe all situations and people are unique, and definitely unique combinations where partnerships are formed. I understand that others may take a hard-line view, and treat all situations involving infidelity the same.

 

lkjh is right that cheating is no small thing.

[trippi1432]

Before this goes on further........YGG - been in both sides of the fence...Hopes-you know I see your side too...let's stick to the topic...this is W_N's thread.

 

Sorry, got both your backs....different situations..but both plausible.

[You Go Girl]

Before this goes on further........YGG - been in both sides of the fence...Hopes-you know I see your side too...let's stick to the topic...this is W_N's thread.

 

Sorry, got both your backs....different situations..but both plausible.

 

Trippi--the new LS Divorce forum policewoman.

You keep us in line, girl!

[trippi1432]

LOL!! You think they would ever make me a moderator...not!! I can get just as biased as the next person.......

 

But I can see that W_N loves his wife...just needs to open up and his ex took the WRONG approach to get him there...do away with guilt because it will keep you going back.....remorse isn't the way to go either.

 

W_N...self - respect without judgement....look at youself....DW - remorse without being a victim...look at yourself...if you both do not respect yourselves...how can you respect each other?

[What_Next]

Well it seems this thread went sideways again as it was apt to do.

 

I would like to clear up a few points though.

 

1, yes I am "leaving" in terms of getting my own place. However, so is she. That is actually a good thing in terms of giving us both the space to heal to a certain degree.

 

2, yes we ARE divorcing in the traditional sense of the word. I again have comitted to this. She lost the right to carry my family name when she slept with him. Period. Whether we reconcile or not, we WILL NOT do that as man and wife. The thing is, we were actually together for many years and our child was around 5 when we married. This is something I am doing for me, for my self respect. It has no impact on whether or not we can eventually reconcile.

 

OK, of course the choice is obviously mine whether or not I want to reconcile with her, I guess I just wanted to jumpstart the conversation and open it up to everyone's opinions. Also, I have told her that I will be dating should the oppurtunity come up. NOTHING serious, god no, but dating yes.

 

The fact that we are BOTH here on this site is still surreal.

[2.50 a gallon]

WN

 

I have kept up with your story. The red flag went up with her trip with her girl friends, I knew and I think you knew at that time what the out come was going to be. Truthfully it hurt to see it unfold as I had gone through something similar and 30 years ago I was exactly where you are at. In my case, I caught her in the act of kissing the OM over the lunch hour. I understand the anger and the total loss of trust, in not only your marriage, but the whole ball of wax. And expecially the images. I knew that I could never get past the movies that I produced in my head.

 

As TMY says there are three sides to every story, yours, hers and the truth.

 

Perhaps you might get some insight from my story.

 

Briefly, I was a player into my mid 30's, I had found somebody special 5 years previous, but that caused a schism in my soul. Half of me knew she was special and wanted to settle down and have a family with her, and the other half did not want to give up my bachelor lifstyle. So my ex fiance walked out on me, it hurt badly, but the reward was I got to go back to my player days.

 

A few years later I met my XW. I knew from the start that she would be trouble. She was a dozen years younger than me, a wild failing college kid, and one of the most sexy women I had ever met. Fold out material, with one of those few faces that I knew I could kiss every day for the rest of my life and still want more. She was attracted to me because I was the ultimate bad boy and she pursued me.

 

I did my best to run, but she persisted, changed her ways, went back to school, got her degree and about 3 years after we met we exchanged vows. I had made the mistake of really falling in love with her

 

Mistake number 2, was when we moved a thousand miles away, and I left my support system behind. By support system, I mean good friends, who covered each others back.

 

Almost immediately after moving, I found my marriage under attack, as I said she was fold out material. She was not having an affair, but was slowly no longer listening to me and my almost begging her to listen to my side of the story. Having been a former player, I knew what was going on, she was listening to others as they cut down my character.

 

Then came the day I caught her kissing the OM. I went nuts, they were safely behind a chain link fence, but I let my presence be known and called her every name in the book and some you have never heard of in front of her co-workers, and told her it was unsafe for her to come home that night.

 

To get back at me she did her best to rub her affair in my nose.

 

About 3 weeks later, her and the OM accepted another invitation from and associate MOM, we shared the bedroom wall, to come over and party while his wife was out of town. Again in order to rub it in my face she came over to our place. After about an hour of politely listening to her BS, she put 2 and 2 together and knew that I too had already found somebody new.

 

She collapsed, and began begging me to reconcile, this even included her going out side and yelling and humilating the OM on his sexual short comings.

[michellec]

Can some some send me the link I want to read and print it

[controlledchaos]

i finally finished reading the entire thread. i couldn't then NOT post at the end.

 

i am so sorry that things took the turn they did, and that you find yourself in the position you are currently in. for that i send ((HUGS)) your way!

 

i don't have any advice or great perspective on this. i can comment on the verbal and physical outbursts and say, if you can stop these it would be a good idea. what i have learned is that any time a person feels threatened by someone elses anger, whether verbal, emotional, or physical it is considered abuse. and when our kids are witnesses it can mess them up down the road. i am a perfect example of that. and my kids have seen the fall out from my own abusive marriage. they are all younger than your daughter and i did a LOT to shield them from it. so, just for future reference if you can control the stuff that might scare her, you'll be better off ( as will she) in the long run.

 

i completely understand your need to connect with other adults after so many years of an emotionless marriage. i married a man that shut me out from his emotions completely. and for the past 5 yrs would ignore me unless he was putting me down, berating me, making fun of me, or telling me how my feelings and emotional experiences were all wrong. after he told me to take my kids and move out last spring i found myself reaching out to friends for the first time in my entire marriage. it was nice to have an adult to talk to, even if they had NO IDEA what it was like going through this. unfortunately, things didn't go very well for me in the 'talking to people' department ( you can see the thread i started if you are interested at all). but, i definitely understand your need to have someone to talk to. i didn't want to date. i still don't want to date. i don't want to meet new people. i just wanted to have a person i thought was safe to talk to. to get stuff off my chest. i'm kinda bummed i didn't find this place until now actually :-(..............

 

anyway! good luck with all your furture moves and challenges. i've been separated 7 months and we have kids together, so we interact with one another A LOT. its definitely takes some adjustment. i'm sure you'll do great, you have a very positive attitude about life!

[What_Next]

I so appreciate everyone still posting to this thread. It helps me a great deal.

 

2.50, yes the red flags went up when she took her "girls weekend" as well and if anyone reads this thread it can be seen how I went off the deep end.

 

I guess what I now realize is that perhaps if I had went to HER to tell these things to then I might have saved our marriage. I made a tonne of changes in my own personality and my appearance in my life. I failed to make the very one that could have made all the difference, COMMUNICATION!!!

 

She told me that if I had of grabbed her on that Friday and told her not to go that she might not have. You know I got really angry over that, since I didn't believe her initially. Well I guess I'll never know.

 

My advice to ANYONE that goes through what I went through, grab the woman (NO NO NO NO I DO NOT MEAN PHYSICALLY) and shake her back to reality. Do whatever you need to. Woo her, buy her flowers, show her pictures of her family, take her out and ravage her body for hours. Get her out of the fog whatever way you know how.

 

Then and only then if she chooses to stay with the OM then you'll know you did everything you could. Learn to ignore the pride, the anger, the confusion. Just push through it and get her to stop SOMEHOW.

 

This place has been a source of support, guidance, and even understanding. It has been a place to vent, a place to share my experiences and a place to grow. However, it was also a place to come and write about my experiences and not deal with them.

 

My marriage ended the day she slept with that boy in that bedroom. I wish I could find the place and burn it to the ground, but I can't and I won't. Our marriage will not continue.

 

My friendship with my best friend in the entire world ended the day she took our child to be with him. I wish I could have stopped it, but I couldn't. The question to whether or not our friendship will be re-kindled is up in the air.

 

As for our romantic involvement, well again, I cannot say.

 

I will continue to update my story as it develops. For now I am going to work on me, my child and let the new relationship that I have been lucky enough to stumble into begin. We'll see where it all goes.

[ThumbingMyWay]

Can some some send me the link I want to read and print it

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t104006/

 

 

its the last post on this thread

[HopelessinDTW]

I so appreciate everyone still posting to this thread. It helps me a great deal.

 

2.50, yes the red flags went up when she took her "girls weekend" as well and if anyone reads this thread it can be seen how I went off the deep end.

 

I guess what I now realize is that perhaps if I had went to HER to tell these things to then I might have saved our marriage. I made a tonne of changes in my own personality and my appearance in my life. I failed to make the very one that could have made all the difference, COMMUNICATION!!!

 

She told me that if I had of grabbed her on that Friday and told her not to go that she might not have. You know I got really angry over that, since I didn't believe her initially. Well I guess I'll never know.

 

My advice to ANYONE that goes through what I went through, grab the woman (NO NO NO NO I DO NOT MEAN PHYSICALLY) and shake her back to reality. Do whatever you need to. Woo her, buy her flowers, show her pictures of her family, take her out and ravage her body for hours. Get her out of the fog whatever way you know how.

 

Then and only then if she chooses to stay with the OM then you'll know you did everything you could. Learn to ignore the pride, the anger, the confusion. Just push through it and get her to stop SOMEHOW.

 

This place has been a source of support, guidance, and even understanding. It has been a place to vent, a place to share my experiences and a place to grow. However, it was also a place to come and write about my experiences and not deal with them.

 

My marriage ended the day she slept with that boy in that bedroom. I wish I could find the place and burn it to the ground, but I can't and I won't. Our marriage will not continue.

 

My friendship with my best friend in the entire world ended the day she took our child to be with him. I wish I could have stopped it, but I couldn't. The question to whether or not our friendship will be re-kindled is up in the air.

 

As for our romantic involvement, well again, I cannot say.

 

I will continue to update my story as it develops. For now I am going to work on me, my child and let the new relationship that I have been lucky enough to stumble into begin. We'll see where it all goes.

W_N: Please stop beating yourself up with "what-ifs". My wife said something similar in that if at a certain time I had said "I love you", I might have had a better chance. This is all BULLS**T, I'm sorry. She's saying that just to make her feel good that she gave you chance to stop HER from making a mistake. Bottom line is SHE went through with it, you have ABSOLUTELY NO responsibilty for her actions. If you stopped her then, then there would have been another opportunity for her to do this again. Once an MLC puts these thoughts in her mind, it's tough for her to not go through with it.

 

Your other advice is completely against the NC ideas, and in some cases it might work.

[2sunny]

from the other thread...

 

Thumbingmyway, your post was very well thought out. Very well written. It is a post like yours that I can read and listen to. You've been there. I get the fact that her screwing this guy was what you might term collateral damage, but I am sorry I just don't think I'll ever get those images out of my head.

 

As for MC, well at 150 per session there is no damned way I am EVER going near MC with her again. We spent 3 sessions and WASTED $450 while she sat there knowing she wanted to screw another man. Umm, no, nope. Sorry.

 

I'll come back to what I said earlier, why should I now do the heavy lifting? Why should I do the hard work? It's up to HER, NOT ME. For now I need sanity, I need to be happy. I need a chance to rebuild my life with my child and getting my own place allows that.

 

2sunny, i admire you not holding a grudge, thanks for that. Your post summed up perhaps why some of my anger came through last night. She did another thing last night that clearly shows that her actions and her words are NOT in alignment. All of her promises, tears, claims etc up to this point are just EMPTY words. They mean NOTHING. For all I know they are a pack of lies, just like our marriage was.

 

 

i understand not wanting to do marriage counseling when there is no reason to go back. since she ruined the first attempt by sabotaging it - you obviously aren't in tune with it being a useful tool. and since you don't intend to stay married - what's the point now?

 

 

since her words and actions don't match = there really is no need to be communicating with her at all - unless you want to step into her manipulation willingly... that's what it amounts to.

 

when she lies - no need to have any interaction. this is how i handled my separation and followed the same suit through the divorce. it kept me safe. it allowed me to have more clarity by "watching" his actions - instead of getting confused by the words and actions getting me all mixed around. it's designed to cause YOU confusion so you will make bad decisions that work to her benefit.

 

staying away from the interactions and especially no dialog - allowed me the clarity i needed to avoid his lies and understand that his actions told me EVERYTHING i needed to understand.

[2sunny]

She told me that if I had of grabbed her on that Friday and told her not to go that she might not have. You know I got really angry over that, since I didn't believe her initially. Well I guess I'll never know.

 

stop wondering!

 

she lies!

 

she has been so caught up on the affair fog there's nobody and nothing that would have kept her away from him on that dreaded "girl's weekend!"

 

stop second guessing yourself.

 

watch her actions - believe NONE of her words... she lies!

[2.50 a gallon]

WN

 

I actually tried to post a follow up to my first post, but sometimes I have problems with LS and have to back off for several hours then try again

 

I shall try to rebuild what I lost.

 

I left out a couple of important events in my first post. The next day after our breakup, my XW called the cops and with them standing by, she was able to come into our apartment and get most of her personal things. One of her female co-workers helped her.

 

And that weekend, the associate MOM's wife was out of town and he invited my XW, her OM and a couple of associate OM's from her work place over for a Bar-B-Que. A very loud party ensued, and being as we shared a bedroom wall, I over heard a lot of it. She proceeded to get totally drunk and perform a strip for them

 

All of the associate OM's belonged to a self-help cult, which they were pushing for us to join. This had been our main point of contention, as it would have cost us over a grand to attend the first set of classes. And I thought thatthey were totally BS.

 

She made more money that I did, so felt she had the right to say we should go.

 

I on the other hand had a trade that would have tripled my salary, but in order to do so I would have had to work nights. And this was something she was against, as she felt we should be sleeping together each night, and she was afraid to be alone every night in a new city.