Erotic stories are fuelling my desire for an affair. Should I stop reading them?

[ArdeaCandidissima]

I have been looking at the swinger and singles sites to find a lover (have found several candidates), and I have also started looking at the erotic stories there. I am now reading these stories every day and self-pleasuring at least once a day, sometimes twice. So many people here have recommended self-gratification as the solution to my sexless marriage, but I find it has the opposite effect of getting me even more turned on and still ultimately unsatisfied physically. (If someone out there truly finds satisfaction from masturbation, as opposed to just a quick release, talk to me about that.) It's not lack of orgasms - I'm 90-95% successful in achiveing orgasm by myself, within 1-5 minutes if that's what I want.

 

I'm 39, and I have the libido of a 19 year old boy who's never had a date. I see the humorous side, but I am also STARVING with some of the same ugly qualities that would come with food starvation - obsession, singlemindedness, poor judgment in pursuit of fulfillment of one's hunger.

 

My sex life now amounts to Internet stories, and my fingers or vibrator. I want more. Would you recommend that I stop the reading and masturbating, or scale them back (to what?) Is it normal for me to become more aroused, more frequently, when I am also masturbating to orgasm a lot more frequently?

[moimeme]

Try overdosing. I'm serious. Take a day or a weekend. Do it every hour or so - more if you can manage. Do it constantly. Do it until it becomes a chore. Then do it more. If this doesn't tune you down to a dull roar, you may actually have some obsession or other to deal with.

[jester]

Ardea, for the absolute best short story porn site on the Web visit literotica:

 

http://www.literotica.com/

 

Great stuff, and they have something for everybody, and I mean everybody.

 

I'm glad to hear that all systems are go.

[moimeme]

Definitely the choice site for erotica.

[meanon]

Nope. Erotica is fine. You just need to learn to satisfy yourself properly. You have a lot of time to catch up on! Post again if you need further advice on different ways to achieve it (actually there's a lot in the archives if you do a search). Have fun

[animo]

I'm in the same boat.

 

But have an excuse because i AM a guy and im only a few years past 19 (ok a decade )

 

Mastrubation just does NOT satisfy me in any way. Its nothing more then a quick relief to take the pressure off before i go insane. When i make love to a real person i feel satisfied and will not have any lust for over a week but when i'm not having sex i can mastrubate 10 times a day and still think about nothing but having sex =/

 

I have always felt this way even before i became sexually active. IE when i was still a virgin. For me there is simply nothing that even comes close to sex with a real person. Looking at porn or reading stories makes it worste and fuels me even more but i can't stay away from it.

 

I'm pretty sure that my wife does not like the sexstarved person ive turned into but i can't seem to help it. On a sidenote...i have never ever not been turned on when my wife comes onto me, even if we just had sex. It seem that the fact that i love my wife just makes me want to have sex with her more. Before i met my wife i already had a strong sexdrive but it would never become frustrating and i could myself by mastrubating. When i met my wife and fell in love with her things became much much more intence and now that my wife is 'taking a break' i am just completely sexually frustrated.

 

I feel for you and know how you feel =/

[doniker]

Originally posted by animo

When i make love to a real person i feel satisfied and will not have any lust for over a week but when i'm not having sex i can mastrubate 10 times a day and still think about nothing but having sex =/

 

 

 

I am just the opposite.

 

My wife and I only have sex maybe once every 6 weeks and after we do it I am horny as hell for days and masterbate more than normal. After a week or so I go through a "non horny stage" and only masterbate about once a day.

 

----

 

over dosing on masterbation would never work for me; I am 40 and still do it 8 or 9 times a week. Even when I was having sex daily I still masterbated just as much.

[animo]

doniker i think my wife has some of your genes but a little more extreem.

 

You see, if we never had sex again it would hardly bother her. When we were having sex frequently she came onto me all the time. Sometimes she would be so sexually active that i thought she had an obsession. When things started going downhill in our sexlife it had the oposite effect though. The less sex we have we less she wants to have sex.

 

Before i met her she had been sexually inactive for 2 years and basically it did not bother her at all. she had pretty much forgotten there even was such a thing as sex.

 

Going on those facts i can see the next few years of my life turning into a living hell hehe

[cdn]

My understanding is that sex begets sex -- the more you have, the more you want. For me, intercourse satisfies in a way that masturbation does not. The orgasms are deeper, richer and more lasting. Masturbation just leads to more masturbation -- almost as if the orgasm is just more foreplay and not a culmination. So from my perspective, what you are experiencing is normal (or perhaps we are both abnormal!). I don't know whether cutting back on the reading would help (I'd find reading erotic stories way more appealing than looking at pictures). Maybe try it for a week or two?

 

 

Sorry for not being more helpful.

[doniker]

99% of my orgasms from masturbation are a real disappointment; but I still keep doing it thinking this next one will be "the one".

 

I like to beat off and hate myself for liking it; I wish I never would have discovered it. I have wasted alot of time and energy on sexual thoughts and masterbation when I could have been doing something positive and constructive.

 

Alot of times when I am having actual sex I think to myself "now I have something to remember and fantasize about in the future while I'm jacking off". Is that nuts or what?

[whocares]

I agree with cdn. The more you have sex (or masturbation), the more you want it. For me what worked was to find hobbies and other things that interested me and kept me busy. It sounds like maybe you obsess too much over sex. Yes, sex is an important thing but it's not worth screwing up your marriage over (no pun intended).

 

I'm not saying you shouldn't masturbate when you feel the urge, but perhaps the erotica only makes you want what you can't have even more. Maybe you should find things to do to keep you away from the computer, out of the house and feeling useful instead of dwelling so much on sex. That's just my suggestion...and believe me I've been where you are.

[doniker]

Originally posted by whocares

Maybe you should find things to do to keep you away from the computer, out of the house

 

 

believe me, I don't have to be in front of the computer or at home to maturbate...where there is a will theres a way!!