Threesome Disaster

[NickelbackFan]

LSNoob, we discussed the particulars prior and what was going to happen and she went against that. People, I do realize this is my fault, I set this up and I do see how I hurt her but you have to realize she wasnt the only one with feelings. She wasnt forced, coerced etc to do this, she was a willing participant and I was left out. Yes its an ego thing and Im miffed that it didnt live up to what I expected. Talking about it at the time wasnt in my plan of things. She couldnt understand why i was so upset which is why I did what I did with the other girl, and I truly do feel sorry I made her cry. But now we are both hurt.

[Brightmoon]

but does anyone give a **** that I was upset ?

 

 

Nope......

[NickelbackFan]

Of course not, god forbid I should come on here and not get judged. I see the consensus here is that I am the villain and she did nothing wrong. I disagree but that is my opinion. Well, I am man and I owned up to my mistakes.

[TaraMaiden]

When I was younger - oh so much younger - I ended up in what was originally a thereesome to end a friend of mine's virginity. She put the idea forward, and asked me how it should be done. Gradually during the convo, it came out that what might work was for us to hang out with my recently-ex BF - because he was a decent, nice guy, with a heart of gold - we just didn't click or love each other sufficiently to think it could work - and se if he would 'help out'. She couldn't think of a nicer guy to lose her virginity to, with no strings attached....and so it was that the three of us ended up in bed together.

Gradually, it became apparent that I really was about as useful as a chocolate fireguard, so...

I simply left the room.

I went to the kitchen, did a few odd bits of washing up and tidying up, and made myself a cup of tea. When they'd finished, they came out, and were both sheepish and very apologetic, but really, it wasn't an issue.

I could have squeezed in, done something to include myself, but it really would have been a mistake.

 

I certainly wouldn't have made the other person sit through watching me phukk someone else AND carry on whilst it made her cry.

 

I don't really know the point of your thread.

You know it was a stupid idea, and you know you followed up with an even more stupid one.

Your fragile male ego took a knock, and you retaliated with spite, malice and pre-meditated intention to wilfully hurt somebody.

so you know you're a double-triple-decker maxi jerk with sprinklings and whipped cream.

If nothing else, your thread serves to show others that no matter how fantastic the fantasy, no matter how it's done in porn movies - the reality is far from ideal and THREESOMES SIMPLY NEARLY ALWAYS NEVER WORK.

[NickelbackFan]

There seems to be a double standard here. It is ok for her to reject me and for me to be hurt and my fragile little ego means nothing right ? Her actions were just as hurtful but because she is the female everyone including you tara are taking it as she is the victim in all this.

[TaraMaiden]

You roped her into a threesome - It was your idea, and she went along with it...

It has been a fantasy of mine (in retrospect I should of kept it a fantasy) to have a threesome, tag team a girl with another guy. The situation arose the other night and it went horribly wrong.

 

For you, yes....because you had your wonderful fantasy torn to pieces.

 

She's not the one whose over-inflated ego was dented by realising that fantasy is hugely dfferent to reality.

 

She's not your GF.

She's simply a FWB, and as such you have no claim to her in the relationship sense, nor any right to take umbrage that she had sex with someone else, and enjoyed it on her own.

 

You're the one who sat by and watched when you could quietly have taken the hint and withdrawn.

 

You're the one who then oganised a second sitting, and deliberately hurt her, wilfully messing with her feelings to get your own back.

 

You're the one who had sex with another woman - not for the sheer enjoyment, pleasure and intimacy - but to deliberately rub someone's face in it and gratify your own injured fragile male pride.

 

Too damn right she's the victim in all this.

[NickelbackFan]

She was very willing to be involved in this Tara. I did not rope her into anything. That is not my type of thing. She was very much willing and excited. I did think about quietly exiting however the situation was presented that it wouldn't of been good for to do so because we both drove together. I wasnt going to leave her stranded. She willfully and intentionally deviated from our plan on purpose, in which she was a willing participant. So she is not totally the victim here. She has admitted this and we have spoken at length. And believe me, the other woman I slept with was filled with intimacy romance and I even zoned out that the other girl was in the room.

[Brightmoon]

And believe me, the other woman I slept with was filled with intimacy romance....

 

 

How much did you pay her?

[TaraMaiden]

She was very willing to be involved in this Tara. I did not rope her into anything.

Would she have even mentioned doing anything like this to you, if you hadn't?

 

She was very much willing and excited.

So this was as much for her then, as for tyou?

I did think about quietly exiting however the situation was presented that it wouldn't of been good for to do so because we both drove together.

You could have left the room, as I did. I didn't mean leave the location completely, necessarily....

 

I wasnt going to leave her stranded. She willfully and intentionally deviated from our plan on purpose, in which she was a willing participant.

Well sorry, but you know, the best laid plans.... they only keep to the script in porn films, you know. Always expect the unexpected. And accept it if it happens. Who are you, her owner?

 

So she is not totally the victim here. She has admitted this and we have spoken at length.

 

So - what the hell is your problem here? What's the point of all this exactly?

If you've sorted stuff - you're posting, because.....?

 

And believe me, the other woman I slept with was filled with intimacy romance and I even zoned out that the other girl was in the room.

 

"Filled with intimacy romance"....? WTF does that mean?

you mean she has feelings for you and wouldn't mind being in a relationship with you?

So you used her emotional connection to get back at your FWB?

And you got so far into the zone that you didn't even consider the other girl was in the room?

 

I don't believe you.

Given that this was the very reason you organised this, I don't believe you then zoned her out and forgot about her.

Yeah, right. A crying woman in the same room is simply not going to figure, is she?

You're so full of balloney.....

[NickelbackFan]

How much did you pay her?

 

Who your mother ? Grow up.

[NickelbackFan]

Would she have even mentioned doing anything like this to you, if you hadn't?

 

 

So this was as much for her then, as for tyou?

 

You could have left the room, as I did. I didn't mean leave the location completely, necessarily....

 

 

Well sorry, but you know, the best laid plans.... they only keep to the script in porn films, you know. Always expect the unexpected. And accept it if it happens. Who are you, her owner?

 

 

 

So - what the hell is your problem here? What's the point of all this exactly?

If you've sorted stuff - you're posting, because.....?

 

 

 

"Filled with intimacy romance"....? WTF does that mean?

you mean she has feelings for you and wouldn't mind being in a relationship with you?

So you used her emotional connection to get back at your FWB?

And you got so far into the zone that you didn't even consider the other girl was in the room?

 

I don't believe you.

Given that this was the very reason you organised this, I don't believe you then zoned her out and forgot about her.

Yeah, right. A crying woman in the same room is simply not going to figure, is she?

You're so full of balloney.....

 

 

Because you are a liberal femme nazi, you will always side with the woman period.

[TaraMaiden]

Right....

 

Is that the best you can come up with?

 

She isn't here.

She isn't posting.

I have no idea what she would say if she did post here, because it could be that she would directly duplicate your sentiments, or (which is more likely) give her version.

I would respond accordingly, to her posts.

And I would still tell her that her actions were dumb, because threesomes very rarely fulfil the fantasy, and that she was an idiot to let herself be persuaded, coaxed, convinced to participate, or that she agreed to do it under the false impression that it would be a good idea.

So if she posts - I'll reply.

 

As she hasn't, all we have is your account, your description, your admitted hurt feelings and your admitted act of revenge.

 

Since you were the very first one to tell us all what a complete @$$hole and jerk you were, the elaboration of this point, and the opinion that you really were - as you admitted, confessed and began with - a complete total idiot - it's a bit rich of you to now turn round with no more powerful an argument that I'm a liberal femme Nazi (whatever that is!! another finely invented phrase on a par with 'filled with intimacy romance') ) and that I "will always side with the woman period."

An examination of all my posts will tell you that you are roundly mistaken.

 

you seem to be prone to making mistakes with women, don't you?

[Brightmoon]

Who your mother ? Grow up.

 

This is rich form someone who did not have the maturity to leave the room when things did not go according to plan. Plans don't always work out.

It happens. But you sat there and sulked.. then decided to truly hurt someone who quite probably cares for you:mad:.

 

Where did you find a woman prepared to have sex with you for over an hour while another is sobbing in the corner?. Sounds hugely romantic and intimate:sick:.

[TaraMaiden]

Who your mother ? Grow up.

 

A clear case of pot calling kettle black.....using sex as revenge is pretty childish....

[sally4sara]

, the other woman I slept with was filled with intimacy romance and I even zoned out that the other girl was in the room.

 

Any two people who can have an Ooh lala intimate and romantic sex session with a person in the room crying has something broken inside them. I wouldn't care what the gender of the crying person is - guy, girl, they're Eeffin crying! Nothing romantic about it! Its not an Aphex Twins' s sex soundtrack!

 

Sick!

[TaraMaiden]

my goodness, very nearly a whole regiment of liberal femme nazis!

 

can you handle the threesome, Nickelbackfan...?

[Brightmoon]

my goodness, very nearly a whole regiment of liberal femme nazis!

 

can you handle the threesome, Nickelbackfan...?

 

PMSL!!

[TaraMaiden]

Caution: O/T post.

 

All we need now is some smart@$$ comment about the swastika in my avatar....

 

Just in the very tiny possibility anybody is in any doubt, by the way....

 

Ok, sorry...

back to the threesome....

[sally4sara]

The simple fact that you only perceive the negative feedback you gotten for what you've done to be about her being a woman and all of us being crazed femi-nazis tells a lot about your character. It says that you think what you did was okay BECAUSE you did it to women. Your ego and that you didn't get what you wanted out of YOUR fantasy is so much more important than anyone's tears.

 

You used her and it didn't turn out the way you had hoped to use her -gasp- she enjoyed herself too much in a way you did not permit!

So you used another woman to punish her.

 

You are so cool.

[NickelbackFan]

Brightmoon - to answer your question, it was another old friend of mine from the past, an ex girlfriend who when I explained the situation actually agreed the female was wrong.

 

Tara - Yes its obvious this should of stayed a fantasy, and if she knew i posted this Im sure she would be candid with her feelings as I have been thus far. The actual act didn't last long and she stated she didnt enjoy it. Even if she did enjoy it thats fine. My gripe is that she deviated it on purpose and yes a bit of ego did get involved. And yes I am admitting it was selfish and immature to retaliate but I did forget to mention one thing. I did ask her if she wanted to join in with the other girl and she said no. She said no because she recognized she made a mistake not letting me join in.

 

Bottom line, I created this disaster and I am remorseful. But she has to share some ioda of responsibility.

[NickelbackFan]

The simple fact that you only perceive the negative feedback you gotten for what you've done to be about her being a woman and all of us being crazed femi-nazis tells a lot about your character. It says that you think what you did was okay BECAUSE you did it to women. Your ego and that you didn't get what you wanted out of YOUR fantasy is so much more important than anyone's tears.

 

You used her and it didn't turn out the way you had hoped to use her -gasp- she enjoyed herself too much in a way you did not permit!

So you used another woman to punish her.

 

You are so cool.

 

Sally yes you are correct, my ego got in the way of seeing that my actions possibly would hurt her. I do feel bad.

[TaraMaiden]

Tara - Yes its obvious this should of stayed a fantasy, and if she knew i posted this Im sure she would be candid with her feelings as I have been thus far. The actual act didn't last long and she stated she didnt enjoy it. Even if she did enjoy it thats fine. My gripe is that she deviated it on purpose and yes a bit of ego did get involved. And yes I am admitting it was selfish and immature to retaliate but I did forget to mention one thing. I did ask her if she wanted to join in with the other girl and she said no. She said no because she recognized she made a mistake not letting me join in.

well in that case she was really quite stupid to even hang around....

 

Bottom line, I created this disaster and I am remorseful. But she has to share some ioda of responsibility.

so you say.

I see it differently.

You wanted a threesome. She willingly joined in.

You had your nose put out of joint, and chose to retaliate.

She must take responsibility for her actions, but not so as to appease your own sense of remorse or indignation that right now - you're the one getting a bent ear.

You organised session #2.

She didn't leave.

That was her mistake.

 

But the whole sordid mess is I'm sorry to say - entirely on you.

If you hadn't wanted/mentioned it, it would have stayed your titillating fascinating exciting imaginative fantasy.

 

But look - you really should drop it now.

Ok.

It's done.

Move on.

And learn from it all.

[amerikajin]

Cliff notes: threesomes only work if you're better than the other partner and/or have a thick ego and/or there are absolutely no feelings of attachment involved. And it's kinda rare to have all three criteria met, so...

[NickelbackFan]

well in that case she was really quite stupid to even hang around....

 

 

so you say.

I see it differently.

You wanted a threesome. She willingly joined in.

You had your nose put out of joint, and chose to retaliate.

She must take responsibility for her actions, but not so as to appease your own sense of remorse or indignation that right now - you're the one getting a bent ear.

You organised session #2.

She didn't leave.

That was her mistake.

 

But the whole sordid mess is I'm sorry to say - entirely on you.

If you hadn't wanted/mentioned it, it would have stayed your titillating fascinating exciting imaginative fantasy.

 

But look - you really should drop it now.

Ok.

It's done.

Move on.

And learn from it all.

 

Sorry for getting defensive before, but yes you are correct. I caused it, let my ego get in the way and it got way out of hand. I learned my lesson, now I just have to stop thinking about it now. I posted on this forum because I had no one to talk to other then my other female friend my ex. But as much as you dont believe it I am remorseful I feel bad.

[jthorne]

I want to start out by saying that I am an idiot and a fool and I totally deserve what is coming to me. I created the situation I am about to describe and it blew up in my face. I just need to vent. I have a friend with benefits, nothing more nothing less, just a sexual relationship. It has been a fantasy of mine (in retrospect I should of kept it a fantasy) to have a threesome, tag team a girl with another guy. The situation arose the other night and it went horribly wrong. To make a long story short. I was ignored the whole time and did not participate. This made her very upset and we got into an argument. I was hurt, felt disrespected that I didnt participate and basically had to watch the other guy do her. The next day I told her she needed to see how I felt so I invited another girl over and made her sit there and watch us have sex. The other girl is way better looking, model material. When all is said and done, there is alot of jealousy. I made a huge mistake, Im hurting, my FWB is hurting, and I am very depressed. She cried as she watched me have sex with the other girl. But now she knew how I felt when I had to watch and not join in.

Um, you do know that neither of you were tied to chairs or had guns held to your heads, right? If you felt left out, why didn't you leave? If she didn't want to watch you do another girl, why did she stay and watch?

This is a whole lotta drama for nothing if you ask me...

 

AND... why did this "model" allow your FWB to stay and watch? And why did she put up with her sniveling and crying all the time? Seems like that woulda ruined the mood, to me... Or did you hide the FWB, and the model didn't know she was being watched? Ew, that's creepy...

Edited June 2, 2010 by jthorne