sisterhood

[devon]

help! i am so freaked out! i am going to visit my family after not seeing them for eight years! i am terrified! i am the youngest and always the blacksheep, i feel we all have our place in our family and mine sucked. i can already feel the ole fears, anger and resentment towards my sisters and brother whom i hated growing. we have all gotten older now and altho it seems that they moved on i am still stuck feeling like the "little sister" i use to run around, drink, drugs, run away and other misc things. these things stick with me, but i doubt my sisters still think of me like that. we are all in our 40's but i still feel like the little teenager i use to be. i want to see them, i really do, i talk to my one sister at times and we have seemed to grown a little closer over the years tho i've been away. i have no intentions of ever moving back there and they don't care anyway, but this visit is long over due and i want to see my family and my moms grave and the old neighborhood but i can't shake off this inferiority feeling. what can i do?! i am desperate and thinking of calling it off "again".but i know the time will never feel right, so it's now or never anyway....

[magicklady]

Confront it head on and who cares what they think of you. You sound like you have turned out to be a wonderful caring person and if they can't see past what you used to be then that is their problem and they will be missing out on getting to know the wonderful person you have grown to be. Go and just let things go... you might find out that more of your family than you think has let things go. Let us know how it goes.!! Good luck

[Taressa]

Hi Devon,

 

I've got a little sister too and can't imagine how horrible it would be to lose touch with her. You'e left a whole in your sisters lives; they're looking for an opportunity to allow you back in, I would believe.

 

I imagine you have some forgiveness to ask and some forgiveness to give. Don't forget to forgive yourself. You were young and made some mistakes - - that makes you normal, not bad.

 

Please don't cancel your reunion with your sisters. It may have some awkwardness to it but this is the only way to rebuild these relationships that will last you to the grave. Rebuilt, you won't find a better common bond or merciful understanding than that you'll have with your sisters.

 

Expect a little awkwardness, be willing to ask forgiveness if some issues come to light, but expect to have a good time.

 

You've become a fine woman. You'll find warm, open arms if you allow them to see you as you are now.

[Tony T]

This is a golden opportunity to wrap up a lot of unfinished business, to reaquaint yourself with your family after all these years. You can resolve a lot of the angry feelings. You will not be dealing with the same people you remember. They are eight years older, hopefully somewhat wiser. You will be able to tell them how you felt then and how you feel now. If you do it right, you can come out of this thing a lot better off for having had the opportunity to patch things up and resolve old hurts.

 

Don't even care how they react. You may really take to some of your siblings now as they have matured. Others may be even more hateful. Just don't consider it all that important how they react. You are looking out for yourself here and you want to resolve things for yourself.

 

I hope instead of dreading this event you will look forward to it.

[quankanne]

Devon, I'm also the youngest in my family, with a similar problem, except it's my brother who we hadn't heard from in 16 years. I think if he asked to get together with the family again, we'd go in a heartbeat because we love him that much, because that love is more important than the hurt he caused when he completely cut us out of his life.

 

Believe me, no matter what has passed, your fears will pale in comparison when you see the love your sibs have for you. And as they experience the trials and tribulations of life, people do become more understanding of what others go through.

 

This might be the hardest thing you will ever have to do, but look at it this way: you'll be gaining a lot in return, and you will never ever again will have to face going through this.

 

jo

[devon]

to all of you: thank you all for the encouragement. i will go and i will face my fears and my sisters head on. if i can overcome this stumbling block i can overcome anything. thank you all for your support. i will be on my way on july 19th. wish me luck. and thank you all again. devon

Devon, I'm also the youngest in my family, with a similar problem, except it's my brother who we hadn't heard from in 16 years. I think if he asked to get together with the family again, we'd go in a heartbeat because we love him that much, because that love is more important than the hurt he caused when he completely cut us out of his life. Believe me, no matter what has passed, your fears will pale in comparison when you see the love your sibs have for you. And as they experience the trials and tribulations of life, people do become more understanding of what others go through.

 

This might be the hardest thing you will ever have to do, but look at it this way: you'll be gaining a lot in return, and you will never ever again will have to face going through this.

 

jo

[billy the kid]

hey Devon , nice to hear from you,, so you might not like my post but here goes... for years there has been a family reunion on my mothers side of the family... not so bad so far huh??? any way she had 11 brothers and sisters combined.. she divorced my father when I was one... but back then divorce was looked down upon.. any way she raised 3 boys and 1 girl on her own.. now check this out she never ( once she left dad) to this day ever went on a date or remarried or well you know what I mean..when I was younger we always went to the family reunions, yet my brothers and sisters hated it cus we were looked down upon cuz of our mothers divorce.. we were considered lower class and poor. well really we weren't either, I can not tell you one thing that I ever longed for, except for maybe a cigarette in my teens, which mom didn't approve of any way.. but we had every thing that the other kids in the neighborhood had and more... now in later years the reunion still goes on.. my brothers and sister have not attended in years, and I seldom go... but when I do go I hold my head high, cuz I am proud of mom for raising 4 kids on nothing.. there is something, if you just think, that is worth being proud of in your younger years.... keep your head up, don't look down and I mean down as towards the ground.. there are things and acomplishments that no one can take from you.. be proud and go see your family.. every thing will be ok,,

help! i am so freaked out! i am going to visit my family after not seeing them for eight years! i am terrified! i am the youngest and always the blacksheep, i feel we all have our place in our family and mine sucked. i can already feel the ole fears, anger and resentment towards my sisters and brother whom i hated growing. we have all gotten older now and altho it seems that they moved on i am still stuck feeling like the "little sister" i use to run around, drink, drugs, run away and other misc things. these things stick with me, but i doubt my sisters still think of me like that. we are all in our 40's but i still feel like the little teenager i use to be. i want to see them, i really do, i talk to my one sister at times and we have seemed to grown a little closer over the years tho i've been away. i have no intentions of ever moving back there and they don't care anyway, but this visit is long over due and i want to see my family and my moms grave and the old neighborhood but i can't shake off this inferiority feeling. what can i do?! i am desperate and thinking of calling it off "again".but i know the time will never feel right, so it's now or never anyway....