would you sue or throw raw eggs?

[JillyBean]

Okay, here's my story: After spending 18 months (on and off repeatedly) in the most tumultuous relationship I have ever tried to work out, it finally came to an end. WHEW!

 

I left after he admitted to me his source of income was from him being a "drug dealer and a fence". He stated he would do "anything" he could (legal or not) to make ends meet. I suspected his strange, erratic behavior and mood swings were due to alcohol and drugs, but he never did it in front of me so I wasn't absolutely positive. Once he told me, I told him C'Ya.

 

He called me repeatedly for several weeks after I decided to call it quits. He would tell me he missed me and loved me and wanted to see me; he would yell at me, call me names, and say he never wanted to talk to me again; then he would call again, and again, and again.

 

Finally, I went out of town (to take a break from all the chaos), was gone for over a week, and didn't tell him where I was going. Before I left town, I dropped off a letter at his home, stating to him that I wanted my personal belongings returned before I got back. He called me, first stating he would leave my things at my mother's, then he said he wanted to see me when I got back to talk and "sort out everything". He can be very persuasive, so I stuck to my guns and refused to see him or talk to him.

 

Two days after I returned, I again left a letter stating since he did not deliver my things while I was gone, I would be over to pick them up that day at noon. When I arrived, there was a box in the driveway, and I went to see if all my things were there -- NOT!!!

 

Not only did he keep my computer book, color printer, CDs, perfume, and jewelry...

 

...what few items he did return were covered, inside and out, with broken raw eggs. It was obvious the box had been outside for several days as the egg-goo was dried, smelled terrible, and everything was also covered with ants.

 

When I called and said I wanted the rest of my things, I was told he "refused" to return them, when I insisted, he told me he didn't have them. Finally, it was suggested to me by him to "go ahead and sue me". I could easily sue. I have receipts, cancelled checks, credit card statements, etc. showing my purchase of these items. In addition, I would add the items that were ruined because of the raw egg bath they received (I took pictures of the mess when I got home).

 

I have gone over and over this situation in my head for the past week. I have had evil thoughts, hysterical get-even ideas, tears of anger/rage, tears of joy that it's finally over (if I choose to just "let it go"). Question is how do I just let go? Estimated cost to replace my things is easily over $2,000. I wax and wane over this every day.

 

All I wanted was resolution. If my things were just placed outside, intact, I would have picked them up and never contacted him again (and I haven't since that day) except to ask why all of my things were not returned, and what was the deal with the eggs.

 

I was told at first the eggs were not broken, but when I mentioned the ones inside the coffe carafe with the lid screwed back on, I was then told it was so I would just go away and stop bothering him!!! I have recordings of the 14+ phone calls he made for several weeks after we split up, and told him if he didn't stop calling me, I would charge him with harrassment (he hasn't called once since then).

 

So do I sue, throw raw eggs (retaliate in some way), or just let it go??? If I am to just let it go, I would appreciate any input on how I might go about doing this. My feelings of being so upset about all this are from the loss of my things (and yes I know they're just things) and NOT from the loss of him or from the relationship being over.

 

Please help...

[lisa]

WOW! What as A-hole this guy sounds like! I'm really sorry about your stuff (yeah, it is 'just stuff' but isn't that part of the reason we work in the first place?). If I were you, I would contact some lawyers (as distasteful as this may be), and find out the cost of sueing- it might be more expensive to sue then to just buy new stuff. If not, I would say go for it! It would make you feel better, like your getting some kind of revenge, and it would get you restitution if you win! However, the guy sounds a little whacko, so be aware that you might be aggravating a volatile situation (you know the actual guy, while all I know is your story)- think about it! It sounds like you have all the information you need to verify your story (the reciepts, etc.).

 

As good as it may feel at the time, I DO NOT recommend "throwing eggs at him". Way too immature, and that would show him he got to you, which was exactly what he wanted to do. Best of luck to you, and congrats on calling it off with this man!

Okay, here's my story: After spending 18 months (on and off repeatedly) in the most tumultuous relationship I have ever tried to work out, it finally came to an end. WHEW! I left after he admitted to me his source of income was from him being a "drug dealer and a fence". He stated he would do "anything" he could (legal or not) to make ends meet. I suspected his strange, erratic behavior and mood swings were due to alcohol and drugs, but he never did it in front of me so I wasn't absolutely positive. Once he told me, I told him C'Ya. He called me repeatedly for several weeks after I decided to call it quits. He would tell me he missed me and loved me and wanted to see me; he would yell at me, call me names, and say he never wanted to talk to me again; then he would call again, and again, and again. Finally, I went out of town (to take a break from all the chaos), was gone for over a week, and didn't tell him where I was going. Before I left town, I dropped off a letter at his home, stating to him that I wanted my personal belongings returned before I got back. He called me, first stating he would leave my things at my mother's, then he said he wanted to see me when I got back to talk and "sort out everything". He can be very persuasive, so I stuck to my guns and refused to see him or talk to him. Two days after I returned, I again left a letter stating since he did not deliver my things while I was gone, I would be over to pick them up that day at noon. When I arrived, there was a box in the driveway, and I went to see if all my things were there -- NOT!!! Not only did he keep my computer book, color printer, CDs, perfume, and jewelry... ...what few items he did return were covered, inside and out, with broken raw eggs. It was obvious the box had been outside for several days as the egg-goo was dried, smelled terrible, and everything was also covered with ants. When I called and said I wanted the rest of my things, I was told he "refused" to return them, when I insisted, he told me he didn't have them. Finally, it was suggested to me by him to "go ahead and sue me". I could easily sue. I have receipts, cancelled checks, credit card statements, etc. showing my purchase of these items. In addition, I would add the items that were ruined because of the raw egg bath they received (I took pictures of the mess when I got home). I have gone over and over this situation in my head for the past week. I have had evil thoughts, hysterical get-even ideas, tears of anger/rage, tears of joy that it's finally over (if I choose to just "let it go"). Question is how do I just let go? Estimated cost to replace my things is easily over $2,000. I wax and wane over this every day. All I wanted was resolution. If my things were just placed outside, intact, I would have picked them up and never contacted him again (and I haven't since that day) except to ask why all of my things were not returned, and what was the deal with the eggs. I was told at first the eggs were not broken, but when I mentioned the ones inside the coffe carafe with the lid screwed back on, I was then told it was so I would just go away and stop bothering him!!! I have recordings of the 14+ phone calls he made for several weeks after we split up, and told him if he didn't stop calling me, I would charge him with harrassment (he hasn't called once since then). So do I sue, throw raw eggs (retaliate in some way), or just let it go??? If I am to just let it go, I would appreciate any input on how I might go about doing this. My feelings of being so upset about all this are from the loss of my things (and yes I know they're just things) and NOT from the loss of him or from the relationship being over. Please help...

[JillyBean]

Thanks lisa.

 

I'm still contemplating...but what you said was right on, he is "whacko", and that's part of the reason I hesitate to go ahead with a lawsuit. When I first left, intending to go back the next day and finalize everything, he drove by my house that night at about 4 am and threw my cat over my fence. I am a total animal lover and am deeply concerned when I see someone act so coldly towards an innocent animal.

 

I think if I leave things alone, totally, this will go away; if I pursue a lawsuit, I'm afraid it will result in less-than-desirable consequences. I know not to retaliate, stooping to his level, but I'm still hedging on the lawsuit thing.

 

Thanks again.

[devon]

i'd just drop it all together. if he would do that to your cat, what would he do to you? yes, you are more then a cat, but still he obviously has no remorse of what he did to your things or your cat, he probably wouldn't have any hesitation to retaliate against you if you took him to court. it is the principle of the thing, but i'd let it go. good luck.........devon

WOW! What as A-hole this guy sounds like! I'm really sorry about your stuff (yeah, it is 'just stuff' but isn't that part of the reason we work in the first place?). If I were you, I would contact some lawyers (as distasteful as this may be), and find out the cost of sueing- it might be more expensive to sue then to just buy new stuff. If not, I would say go for it! It would make you feel better, like your getting some kind of revenge, and it would get you restitution if you win! However, the guy sounds a little whacko, so be aware that you might be aggravating a volatile situation (you know the actual guy, while all I know is your story)- think about it! It sounds like you have all the information you need to verify your story (the reciepts, etc.). As good as it may feel at the time, I DO NOT recommend "throwing eggs at him". Way too immature, and that would show him he got to you, which was exactly what he wanted to do. Best of luck to you, and congrats on calling it off with this man!

[JillyBean]

devon, first of all Thank You!

 

I agree totally with you and lisa. The more I look at what has happened since I called it quits, the more I think I should just forget it.

 

There is no talking to him, there is no rationality to his behavior, and your right -- he has no remorse. He always explained and excused away every problem as if the problems were those of others, not anything concerning him. This too was part of the reason I decided to leave. He always talked bad and blamed everything on others in his life. He never acknowledged any self-involvement, it was always someone else's fault, never his.

 

I just need to get this out of my system, and I appreciate your response.

 

Thanks again.

[jessi]

If i were you, I would talk to the law enforcement in your city about the situation just so you have some documentation of all of this. My dad is a lawyer, and i can tell you that documenting things is something that you will never regret. You may never need the proof, but if you do, and it is there, it will surely be a relief. He sounds more wacko from reading your post about the cat than from reading the original post. I would be careful....extremely careful. Leave the poor kittycat inside, and SERIOUSLY consider a restraining order. OH, definately dont egg him back!

 

hope it works out for you:)

Okay, here's my story: After spending 18 months (on and off repeatedly) in the most tumultuous relationship I have ever tried to work out, it finally came to an end. WHEW! I left after he admitted to me his source of income was from him being a "drug dealer and a fence". He stated he would do "anything" he could (legal or not) to make ends meet. I suspected his strange, erratic behavior and mood swings were due to alcohol and drugs, but he never did it in front of me so I wasn't absolutely positive. Once he told me, I told him C'Ya. He called me repeatedly for several weeks after I decided to call it quits. He would tell me he missed me and loved me and wanted to see me; he would yell at me, call me names, and say he never wanted to talk to me again; then he would call again, and again, and again. Finally, I went out of town (to take a break from all the chaos), was gone for over a week, and didn't tell him where I was going. Before I left town, I dropped off a letter at his home, stating to him that I wanted my personal belongings returned before I got back. He called me, first stating he would leave my things at my mother's, then he said he wanted to see me when I got back to talk and "sort out everything". He can be very persuasive, so I stuck to my guns and refused to see him or talk to him. Two days after I returned, I again left a letter stating since he did not deliver my things while I was gone, I would be over to pick them up that day at noon. When I arrived, there was a box in the driveway, and I went to see if all my things were there -- NOT!!! Not only did he keep my computer book, color printer, CDs, perfume, and jewelry... ...what few items he did return were covered, inside and out, with broken raw eggs. It was obvious the box had been outside for several days as the egg-goo was dried, smelled terrible, and everything was also covered with ants. When I called and said I wanted the rest of my things, I was told he "refused" to return them, when I insisted, he told me he didn't have them. Finally, it was suggested to me by him to "go ahead and sue me". I could easily sue. I have receipts, cancelled checks, credit card statements, etc. showing my purchase of these items. In addition, I would add the items that were ruined because of the raw egg bath they received (I took pictures of the mess when I got home). I have gone over and over this situation in my head for the past week. I have had evil thoughts, hysterical get-even ideas, tears of anger/rage, tears of joy that it's finally over (if I choose to just "let it go"). Question is how do I just let go? Estimated cost to replace my things is easily over $2,000. I wax and wane over this every day. All I wanted was resolution. If my things were just placed outside, intact, I would have picked them up and never contacted him again (and I haven't since that day) except to ask why all of my things were not returned, and what was the deal with the eggs. I was told at first the eggs were not broken, but when I mentioned the ones inside the coffe carafe with the lid screwed back on, I was then told it was so I would just go away and stop bothering him!!! I have recordings of the 14+ phone calls he made for several weeks after we split up, and told him if he didn't stop calling me, I would charge him with harrassment (he hasn't called once since then). So do I sue, throw raw eggs (retaliate in some way), or just let it go??? If I am to just let it go, I would appreciate any input on how I might go about doing this. My feelings of being so upset about all this are from the loss of my things (and yes I know they're just things) and NOT from the loss of him or from the relationship being over. Please help...

[JillyBean]

thanks jessi, I really appreciate the input from you, lisa, and devon.

 

I did have the sense to document all of this and, as much as I would like to pursue legal avenues, I am getting closer to just let sleeping dogs lie.

 

I fully intend to acquire a restraining order, and maybe then I'll pursue legal recourse; however, I hope to just let it all go and count my losses.

 

Be assured the cat "Willow" a beautiful pure white w/gold eyes, just turned one-year-old, spayed female is, was, and forever more an indoor cat.

 

As far as a reciprocating egg attack, that won't happen, it just makes me feel better when I consider it. I too hope everything works out for me.

 

Thanks again.

[Tony T]

I am not an attorney, but my feeling is that you can take him to court. Judging by his behavior, he will lie, deny he has these things, etc. You can't call the police because this is a domestic matter, no crime has been committed because you freely allowed him to keep these things at his place.

 

So basically it's your word against his but it wouldn't hurt you to consult with an attorney. But you have to make the decision. I don't think you will be pleased with the results. Even if you were awarded a decision, he can still say he doesn't have it. Look at all the stuff O.J. Simpson hid after the Brown family got a judgement against him.

 

To me it sounds like it's worth $1,000,000 to be away from this guy. So by my estimation you are $998,000 ahead of the game if he kept $2,000 worth of your stuff. You could probably use new anyway because you don't need stuff with his germs, bad vibes, negative energy and all his other creepy stuff all over it not to mention the eggs.

 

The best resolution you could possibly get here is just being away from this dude. To draw this out with court proceedings, discovery, legal fees (an attorney would not take this on contingency and probably charge you at least a $500 retainer and an additional $500 to $1,000 if it went to court), aggravation, etc. is simply not worth it.

 

You learned a great lesson from this. It doesn't happen this way often, only when the guy is a low class scum bag. You should spring for a few more dollars and have a block party in your neighborhood to celebrate this piece of pollution from being far gone.

 

Things are things. If you stop thinking about them you won't miss them one bit anyway. It won't take you long to start a new life. And, like I said, your new stuff won't have his germs all over it.

 

Also, I would stay far away from wherever you met this sorry excuse for a homo sapien.

[JillyBean]

thanks Tony, I had hoped to hear from you, and you are so right. My goal is to stay away from Mr. Toxic Waste. He was not and is not any good for me. I realize this and count my blessings that I got out with minimal losses.

 

Thanks again.

[devon]

jillybean, you are very welcome! the sooner you put it all behind you the sooner you can just move on with your own life. have a wonderful day and a wonderful life as well.......devon

devon, first of all Thank You! I agree totally with you and lisa. The more I look at what has happened since I called it quits, the more I think I should just forget it.

 

There is no talking to him, there is no rationality to his behavior, and your right -- he has no remorse. He always explained and excused away every problem as if the problems were those of others, not anything concerning him. This too was part of the reason I decided to leave. He always talked bad and blamed everything on others in his life. He never acknowledged any self-involvement, it was always someone else's fault, never his. I just need to get this out of my system, and I appreciate your response. Thanks again.