hello anyone there?

[missing]

Me and my boyfirned have been going out for a little over three years and we have had some tough times.Lately I feel that we are getting along better, after a big blow. It has definitely been some time later, but recently I feel like we have been making some progress. The thing is he doesn't have much to say to me. I brought a friend over and he talked to her more than he has talked to me in a week. Though I know he hasn't seen her in a bit. Why is he so quiet with me, and why do I feel like I have to steal time from him? He says that I'm really important to him. Most importantly, I've helped him to be where he is today. However, today feel like I was yesterday. What's the deal? I also feel like I'm facing the world and have lost my confident. He doesn't want to hear any sob stories about my life and I have nothing much more to say to him then what's been concerning me. How do you know when you are extremely important to somebody? And if you do know that you are why are the rules different?....If that makes any sense. Why do opposites attrack?

[Tony T]

Sounds like you have a serious case of your boyfriend taking you for granted. I sense that he cares a great deal about you but it's just very natural that in many cases after two people have been together for a while, one or both becomes complacent and unexpressive in the relationship.

 

Since you have real problems with this, it is a danger signal. You need to put him on notice that if he doesn't start communicating with you and conducting himself like a bona fide boyfriend again, the relationship may go south.

 

Very often in these cases, the one who is slighted eventually ends the relationship and the one who is left goes bonkers crazy and sinks into a terrible depression and guilt trip.

 

How do you know when you are extremely important to somebody? You can usually tell by the way they treat you but not always. A couple of quotes come to me: "You don't know what you've got until you lose it." and "Love knows not its own depth, except in the hour of separation." Whatcha gonna do?

 

Why are the rules different? Maybe its a genetic thing. A personality thing. The way someone was raised. Let's do some research on the subject because it's a good question.

 

Why do opposites attract? It's a natural tendency for humans, as part of the mating ritual, to look for mates who have opposite traits so the offspring will be an improvement to the species.

 

If you continue to feel unimportant in this relationship, you will not stay in love with your guy. The reason we love other people is because of the way they make us feel. If he doesn't make you feel special when you are around him, I'm sure someone else out there will be equal to the task.

 

It's totally and completely your responsibility now. You are the one who has to take the action because he is not obligated to change. You have to make yourself happy, that is, if you have that desire.